To leave dd1 home alone once a week for an hour while I work?

[MissMalteser]

dd1 is just turned 11 & since her birthday I have started to let her walk home from school once a week (ten minute walk, no main roads) let herself into the house & start her homework until I get home from work (she gets home @ 3:15 & I am home for around 4:15, I pop home @ lunchtime & open the door for her so she has no key to worry about losing, & call her @ around 3:30 to make sure she's got home ok & started her homework
I was quite comfortable with this & saw it as her starting to gain some independence, especially since come September she will be needing to travel to secondary school on her own, including unaccompanied on a bus, so I seen it as a bit of preparation one day a week
However I've just had a call from her teacher, asking if I was in need of any "additional support" after school as she was sure it was a worry for me, and did I know they had an after school club?
I was quite taken aback and explained all the reasons I was quite fine with it, which she did agree with, but it did make me a bit tbh
Dd1 is also quite happy with the arrangement btw & is quite mature for her age, she knows not to use the cooker if she is hungry, don't open the door to anyone and my number is programmed into our home phone etc

[bigbrick]

Would your house insurance be invalid if the door was left unlocked knowingly when no one was at home?

[AmberLeaf]

I know that some people have commented on this aspect of it already, but seriously, do you not see what a monumentally stupid and dangerous thing it is to leave your home unlocked for several hours, then have your 11 yr old daughter come home alone?

I just can't believe any parent could be so lax with their childs safety, never mind the issue of your house being burgled.

Did your daughter tell her teacher about that aspect of this situation?

[MissMalteser]

Let's not resort to insults please
I am neither smug nor particularly middle class, I am a parent trying to do what is best for their child, I have taken advice on this thread and have had a key cut so she will no longer be coming home to an unlocked house, which you would know if you had taken the info given by me in previous posts, and your 'warning' in regards to ss involvement carry no weight as I AM WORKING WITHIN RECOMMENDED GUIDELINES
Bigbrick indeed it might have been but although it was a very small risk as I left the house at 2:30 and dd was home an hour later, I have taken on board the more sensible option of getting a key cut

[AmberLeaf]

bigbrick, yes leaving an empty house unlocked would invalidate house insurance.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

your 'warning' in regards to ss involvement carry no weight - keep telling yourself that even though her teacher has phoned you and quizzed your daughter.
Sorry but you do sound a bit smug.

[chocolatespiders]

Key safe on wall for £50 would keep the key safe

[MissMalteser]

Amber I do believe the unlocked house situation was resolved over 24 hours ago, yes I have taken on board it was very naive of me, and rectified the situation as soon as it was pointed out, however as also explained above I underestimated the risks due to this being an hour, once a week, in broad daylight and with neighbours who are in all day on either side, and as much this it is hard to believe in this day and age, I could guess at least 75% of the people in my area do the same, due to the layout and low crime rate of were we live

[MissMalteser]

And you sound paranoid

[AmberLeaf]

So did your daughter tell her teacher about that part?

Ive just read the whole thread now before my first post, I can see that you are now going to give her a key.

I just don't get why the risks didn't even occur to you initially?

[AmberLeaf]

I sound paranoid?

No, I just take my childrens safety seriously. I don't want to be burgled either.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

low crime rate of were we live yes well there was an incredibly low crime rate on the Bryn y Gog estate and look what happened there.

[MissMalteser]

No amberleaf that comment was not to you

[Groovee]

My 11 year old walks home if I do extra days. His key fits on a keyring inside his school bag. He comes in and does his homework or chills on the ipad if no homework. He gets in about 3.30pm, I'm home no later than 4pm but sometimes I am home before him.

[AmberLeaf]

Ok, yes that makes sense on reading back.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

I sound paranoid?
After my experiences with SS i probably am, but justifiably so...

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

A letter, phone call and leaflet is not "social services involvement".

[MammaTJ]

Nigella, really? You think a letter a phone call and a leaflet is them coming down on you like a tonne of bricks! Hilarious!

They actually visited me, having been called and had a complaint made about me. They were perfectly lovely and reasonable.

I wouldn't even call that them coming down on me like a tonne of bricks.

I know someone who had three children, the oldest is 8. She gets up and changes her brother nappies in the morning, because her mum is still in bed. The baby has 'developmental delay' and every time I pick him up, he stinks of dope! Fair to asume that any delay is due to him being stoned. SS have been informed on many occasions. They have not even come down on that mother like a tonne of bricks! They are going to be so uninterested in the OPs DD being left home alone for an hour at her age!

[Thatisall]

We have started doing this exact same thing!! Only sometimes it is two hours. My work hours are u predictable but dh is home at 5.30.

We leave a key hidden for dd and she gets in around 3.45 with similar rules to you and a phone call from me. Like you it's once, occasionally twice a week.

I have however worried about what the teachers think but then I consider that next year she'll be in high school.
Initially I booked her into after school club but she was embarrassed as nobody else her age was there,

What was the outcome with the teacher? Of course you explained your reasons but what did they say?

[gingee]

Nigella I am a tad confused- you had SS investigating you because you left your 11 year old alone for an hour, and someone reported this and they came down on you? That's eye opening because I thought it had to be repeated factors or a long term thing before they would consider getting involved? I called SS about a little girl I was having daily contact with, I felt very nosy and awful about it but she smelt of marijuana (her clothes/hair) was repeatedly brought late by a stressed out mum who was rude to other parents, swore at child and bragged about how 'off her face' she was going to get that night. They told me to log my concerns me keep an eye on it. Things have improved since but I don't know if they got involved or not?

It's a bit of a joke these days really knowing what's best. Friggin minefield. I let my y6 walk home with a friend, let herself in get changed and get a small snack and watch a bit of tv until half 4 when she gets collected by neighbour who is one of my best friends and has dd one year younger, she takes them to dance class. I ring everyday and she's home for like 40 mins. However there are kids we know her age who's parents are still having them dropped off and picked up by childminders, grandparents etc and that's fine but some of their parents treat them like 4 year olds, they wouldn't even know how to make themselves a drink, a packed lunch, where they need to be/what to bring, just totally in cloud cuckoo land. They need independence. A kid in secondary who isn't allowed to the corner shop or to go to a friends for tea without mum coming in to check things are 'ok' for half an hour scoping the place out, is not going to do well.

[gingee]

Just to add to my post - I meant by 'ring everyday' that I ring every time she does this, mostly once a week sometimes twice.

[TwoShakesOfaWhiskersTail]

Nigella they sent you a bloody leaflet, please stop being so dramatic about a very small, insignificant incident.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

Given you have now provided your DD with a key I really cannot see a problem with this. I cannot understand why the school (never mind SS) would be even remotely concerned. It sounds like good practice for greater independence at secondary school to me.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

yes but it was logged and used against me later.
just saying.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

anyway gingee it would depend v much on your area and how busy they are.

[NigellasLeftNostril]

sorry to continue ...yes it was logged and used against me later when my daughters hair was unbrushed at school, I was physically ill, and my house was messy. at that point, with the previous 'home alone' (from a differenct council) was found and added in, it reallly was 'a tonne of bricks' ....it all adds up you see.