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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not fire my cleaner? Or for that matter, to fire her?

137 replies

ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:00

In the summer my partner's diamond necklace went missing. We searched high and low for it, to no avail. It was typically left on top of a chest in the bedroom, but sometimes other various places (i.e. no jewellery box) and we won't sure exactly when it went missing. It might have been missing for a couple of weeks before it was noticed as it's more of a special occasion thing. The cleaner who had been coming for about 9 months at this point was away at the time and I was using a temporary one sent by the agency. When it was discovered to be missing she was back so I mentioned to her that we couldn't find it. She shrugged and said she had no idea.

About three weeks later she walks in to the room saying "is this the necklace you lost?". It was. I asked her to show me where she'd found it and she took me to the bedroom and said it was on the floor behind some stuff, beneath the chest which it was typically on top of. It could have fallen there, but I am reasonably sure that I looked down there when hunting for it. I decided to give her the benefit of the fairly considerable doubt.

A couple of weeks ago my mum gave me an advent calendar for my 6 year old son. A few days ago he saw it in my room and asked if it was for him. I said it was, and that he'd start it in December of course and he was studying the numbers, etc. Then a couple of days ago I noticed that 22, 23, 24 had all been opened and the chocolates removed. I grilled him about it and he is adamant it wasn't him. In the past I've readily been able to tell when he isn't being completely honest. Clearly he could be making it up, but I really am doubtful. I asked him repeatedly and he was quite sure he hadn't taken them.

Today the cleaner came and went. 19 has been opened too now. I am not 100% certain it wasn't open before she came, but I'm about 80% certain!

And it wasn't my girlfriend; she doesn't like chocolate.

All in all none of the above is something I can be completely sure of, but I'm pretty dubious at this point. I don't want to put her out of a job if she's done nothing wrong, but I don't want her coming any more if she's going to be stealing valuable stuff or half inching inconsequential stuff whilst relying on the idea that my son can carry the blame!

What would you do? Should she stay or must she go?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 27/11/2013 15:04

It's your kid eating the chocolates.

Absolutely 100% guaranteed.

Been there, had a vociferous 10 year old telling me that the creme egg Easter pack only had one cream egg in it - tears of injustice for hours.

All bollocks

An adult is not stealing cheap choc from an advent calendar

loopylou6 · 27/11/2013 15:05

I would lay a trap, sounds mean, but only way to tell really.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/11/2013 15:06

You are joking, right? Your 6 year old is learning your tells as quickly as you are learning his. Sign of intelligence that is.

Atavistic · 27/11/2013 15:10

I have 4 children, and they have all lied, most convincingly, when the occasion demanded. I think it's your son who has taken the chocolate.

Your cleaner was in the clear for the necklace, why would she return it?

To fire someone over a few suspect chocolates? Very unreasonable.
I think you sound quite difficult.

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:11

Ok. Did he nick the necklace as well?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 27/11/2013 15:12

No the necklace fell behind the chest.

VivaLeBeaver · 27/11/2013 15:13

If she had taken the necklace she wouldn't have brought it back would she?

Anyway I'm confused....have you still got the temp cleaner? Was the temp cleaner there when the necklace went and then the original cleaner found it? Or was it still the temp one?

It's your kid eating the chocolate.

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:13

I definitely looked behind the chest. Hence reasonably sure I'd have seen it if it had been there.

OP posts:
LoofahVanDross · 27/11/2013 15:13

I doubt very very much that the cleaner had the choc.

As for the necklace, you have no proof either way that she took it and returned it.

Gigondas · 27/11/2013 15:14

Yep necklace fell- and have been convinced myself that have searched when haven't.

If it's that valuable get a safe.

Also agree it's kid taking chocs.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/11/2013 15:15

She's definitely not upping her game. From diamonds to chocolate.

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:15

"Anyway I'm confused....have you still got the temp cleaner? Was the temp cleaner there when the necklace went and then the original cleaner found it? Or was it still the temp one? "

It was discovered missing whilst the temporary cleaner was here. It turned up when the original cleaner returned.

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 27/11/2013 15:15

I've emptied drawers and moved cabinets to not find things only to have them turn up exactly where I know I've looked and we don't have a cleaner. Either we have a ghost or sometimes I move what I am looking for along with what I am moving without noticing, the latter being the most plausible explantion.

When you moved the chest the necklace moved with it, when the cleaner moved them, it didn't.

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:19

It's definitely possible I missed it. As did my girlfriend. And the temporary cleaner, all of whom looked for it.

It's funny though, I thought people would slate me for even considering keeping the cleaner.

I'm starting to think hidden webcams and live MN broadcast is the way to go.

AIBU to leave out some cash, just to up the ante?

OP posts:
judgejudithjudy · 27/11/2013 15:20

is this a joke?

coffeeinbed · 27/11/2013 15:20

So the original cleaner can't have stolen the necklace if it went during the temp's employment?
Why bring it into it? Confused

gaggiagirl · 27/11/2013 15:21

We can be fairly certain that the cleaner is not stealing advent chocolate.
She is an adult!
If she wants a Twix or something she can buy one herself after work.

coffeeinbed · 27/11/2013 15:22

No, leave some better chocolates out.
That will tempt the thief out.

MollyMatey · 27/11/2013 15:22

The necklace fell on the floor and was found.

Your 6 year old is eating the chocolate.

softlysoftly · 27/11/2013 15:22

Your cleaner would have to be a total idiot to risk her job for shitty advent chocolates. It's your child. Best way to tell is put calender away while she is there but after dc has gone to school. Bet they still go missing!

Diamond necklace:

A - it fell

B - cleaner went snd dragged temp cleaner over the coals to get back what the temp stole and returned it saying she found it.

Either way she is an honest person.

Iamsparklyknickers · 27/11/2013 15:22

YABU and make a poor Miss Marple Wink

The necklace - clearly you didn't look hard enough and like with a lot of things you're actively looking for you get 'wood for trees' syndrome. Sorry but I think you're way off the mark with that one. Get a lockable jewellery box.

The chocolates - really? You think your cleaner is popping them out thinking no-one will ever notice and cackling wickedly as she pushes the hoover around? Come on, your 6 year old is having them blatantly. Show me a child whose never pinched a sweet and I'll show you my unicorn.

If you've some reason to think your cleaner is a thief then do her a favour and let her go rather than eyeing up everything she does.

Gigondas · 27/11/2013 15:23

If you are seriously considering the money thing,just get rid. You are obviously beyond point of thinking yabu so get another cleaner .

LaurieFairyCake · 27/11/2013 15:23

Hidden webcams to catch someone stealing advent calendar choc?

Have you considered purchasing a life ?

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:23

Coffee, it was discovered missing whilst the temporary cleaner was here, but it hadn't been looked for for several weeks, so it was entirely possible it went missing not during the time of the temporary cleaner.

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 27/11/2013 15:24

Yes do set up some hidden cameras so you can catch Tarquin in the act.