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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not fire my cleaner? Or for that matter, to fire her?

137 replies

ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:00

In the summer my partner's diamond necklace went missing. We searched high and low for it, to no avail. It was typically left on top of a chest in the bedroom, but sometimes other various places (i.e. no jewellery box) and we won't sure exactly when it went missing. It might have been missing for a couple of weeks before it was noticed as it's more of a special occasion thing. The cleaner who had been coming for about 9 months at this point was away at the time and I was using a temporary one sent by the agency. When it was discovered to be missing she was back so I mentioned to her that we couldn't find it. She shrugged and said she had no idea.

About three weeks later she walks in to the room saying "is this the necklace you lost?". It was. I asked her to show me where she'd found it and she took me to the bedroom and said it was on the floor behind some stuff, beneath the chest which it was typically on top of. It could have fallen there, but I am reasonably sure that I looked down there when hunting for it. I decided to give her the benefit of the fairly considerable doubt.

A couple of weeks ago my mum gave me an advent calendar for my 6 year old son. A few days ago he saw it in my room and asked if it was for him. I said it was, and that he'd start it in December of course and he was studying the numbers, etc. Then a couple of days ago I noticed that 22, 23, 24 had all been opened and the chocolates removed. I grilled him about it and he is adamant it wasn't him. In the past I've readily been able to tell when he isn't being completely honest. Clearly he could be making it up, but I really am doubtful. I asked him repeatedly and he was quite sure he hadn't taken them.

Today the cleaner came and went. 19 has been opened too now. I am not 100% certain it wasn't open before she came, but I'm about 80% certain!

And it wasn't my girlfriend; she doesn't like chocolate.

All in all none of the above is something I can be completely sure of, but I'm pretty dubious at this point. I don't want to put her out of a job if she's done nothing wrong, but I don't want her coming any more if she's going to be stealing valuable stuff or half inching inconsequential stuff whilst relying on the idea that my son can carry the blame!

What would you do? Should she stay or must she go?

OP posts:

EasterHoliday · 27/11/2013 15:44

To my shame, I once accused an agency cleaner of taking cash. It was the same agency cleaner who the week previously had broken something of value in my house and covered it up by balancing the broken part on top of the base. When I found the cash (in a drawer I'd previously looked in. Repeatedly), it was the most embarrassing call of my life to the agency to apologise. yes, it's entirely possible that the diamond necklace left lying around for a few weeks or more slid down, got knocked about, was there all along.
Question is whether you think she should be picking up all the nicknacks amongst the chaos to dust there every week. That's your complaint
(and I own a six yr old who is incredibly adept at lying where sweet consumption is involved. Simple thing with the advent calendar is to put it somewhere entirely out of 6 yr old reach; odd they'd have access to one in Mid-Nov anyway)

WooWooOwl · 27/11/2013 15:46

The fact that you don't trust your cleaner 100% is enough reason to get rid of her.

I wouldn't let someone have full access to my house without me being there if I had the amount of doubt you seem to have about this person.

Hissy · 27/11/2013 15:46

I wouldn't begrudge a drink in my house, but I would be miffed about someone helping themselves to coke cans from the fridge tbh. I would expect someone to at least ask, unless I specifically said help yourself to anything...

My DS wouldn't have lied at that age, I'm disinclined to think that your DS has eaten the chocolate. Could you put it in a higher place? so that your child can't reach it, but not obviously so?

caramelwaffle · 27/11/2013 15:47

You're partner is pregnant, hence missing chocolate

What is the view like from the 4th floor?

Iamsparklyknickers · 27/11/2013 15:47

I'm still chuckling over your opening post OP.

I don't want to be mean but I have this wonderful image of a little boy admiring his diamond necklace as he's munching down on a shit load of chocolates

It's like a twist from Tales of the Unexpected.

picnicbasketcase · 27/11/2013 15:47

I wasn't attacking you OP, you used it as an example of why you suspect your cleaner thinks its okay to take things without asking!

caramelwaffle · 27/11/2013 15:48

You're! You're!?

Blinking your

oscarwilde · 27/11/2013 15:50

You would be unreasonable to fire your cleaner over the suspected theft of advent calendar chocolates with a 6 yr old in the house.

You would also be unreasonable to fire your cleaner if they were eating the chocs if you haven't even asked.

Just imagine your employer sacked you because they suspected you nicked the odd packet of post-it notes....

Necklace has been found. It's irrelvant now. In our house it's a standing joke that "X [the cleaner] must have stolen it" because every single time we mislay something, take the house apart for it and get to the point of suspecting the poor woman, we find it in a place that only we would have put it.

TotallyBursar · 27/11/2013 15:51

You on a wind up again.
At least you've made the diamond necklace shenanigans slightly more believable this time.

oscarwilde · 27/11/2013 15:52

If you suspect a crime is being committed you can legally install CCTV without putting a notice up informing the public about the CCTV. But only for a reasonable period of time. ie weeks

Original poster

ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:52

"Save your cleaner the hassle and let her go. You sound like a nightmare to work for. She finds a necklace and your immediate thought is she took it? hmm And you are whinging about her having a bit of coke from your fridge? Unbelievable."

The necklace incident was some time ago and she's still my cleaner, and as I said, I gave her the benefit of any doubt.

As I also posted, I thought it was entirely reasonable for her to help herself to a drink.

I've had cleaners for about 10 years and never suspected one of anything before. And I asked AIBU to NOT fire her?

But don't let that stop you having a go at me. That's what AIBU is for, right? :wink:

OP posts:

spindlyspindler · 27/11/2013 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSmallPrint · 27/11/2013 16:02

My 6yo DS swears blind, with the tears and everything, that it wasn't him that wrote his name in his handwriting on the wall of our playroom.

I believe him and have blamed our cleaner.

LineRunner · 27/11/2013 16:03

This sounds awfully familiar.

CrazyOldCatLady · 27/11/2013 16:03

You can't realistically suspect her of stealing the necklace when you have it!

The is one of the more bizarre threads I've read.

EssexGurl · 27/11/2013 16:04

The cleaner of an old boss of mine opened a new box of chocoltes and the magazine that was delivered by post that morning during her shift. Boss got rid of cleaning company and had to change the locks. These things do happen. If in doubt change your cleaning company. Oh, and put valuables away!

Original poster

ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 16:07

"My 6yo DS swears blind, with the tears and everything, that it wasn't him that wrote his name in his handwriting on the wall of our playroom.

I believe him and have blamed our cleaner."

My favourite response so far, by far.

OP posts:

Modestandatinybitsexy · 27/11/2013 16:08

She may have known the diamonds weren't worn often and so 'borrowed' them but when they were noticed missing decided to helpfully 'find' them for you to steer the blame away from her.

Also, as for cleaners not taking inconsequential items like cheap chocolate, I once bought 20 Freddo bars as part of a joke present for my sister. I left them in my locked office overnight and came in to find only 14 the next day... Someone was fired because of my complaint and I still feel really bad but it did mean lots of little things stopped going missing around the workplace. It's not always obvious without the benefit of hindsight.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 27/11/2013 16:09

Two years ago my husband lost his wallet just before Christmas. We were sure it was in our bedroom. We looked absolutely everywhere. Turned out each cupboard/drawer. Looked behind furniture. Earlier this year when dusting behind the chest I found it. I has been sure we both looked there before. But there it was. It sounds like your cleaner found the necklace when you weren't able to.

And like other posters I'm sure your DS is eating the chocolate.

LineRunner · 27/11/2013 16:12

When you say 'diamond necklace' do you mean a glittering array of valuable diamonds in the style of Downton Abbey Meets Hercule Poirot, or a chain with a pendant on the end?

TheSmallPrint · 27/11/2013 16:16

I'm here all week

Modestandatinybitsexy · 27/11/2013 16:19

Oh and as a side note when you looked under the cabinate was it clean enough for her to have regularly cleaned under it or would she have gone out of her way to 'find' it?

It may be your boy stealing the chocolates but he's only stealing from himself.

loopylou6 · 27/11/2013 16:20

it was me suggesting a trap op, but I meant something like leaving a tenner lying round, not cameras

am I missing something, because op seems to be getting a rough time here

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 27/11/2013 16:30

Hehe it's your son that's stealing his own advent chocs I used to do that but my mum figured it out and refused to replace them so I only had about 10 chocs on their proper day.

welshnat · 27/11/2013 16:34

I used to steal the advent calendar chocolate and not get caught, just opened the bottom, slid the tray out and eat them all. Even pretended to eat them every day. Kids are devious when it comes to goodies!

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