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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not fire my cleaner? Or for that matter, to fire her?

137 replies

ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:00

In the summer my partner's diamond necklace went missing. We searched high and low for it, to no avail. It was typically left on top of a chest in the bedroom, but sometimes other various places (i.e. no jewellery box) and we won't sure exactly when it went missing. It might have been missing for a couple of weeks before it was noticed as it's more of a special occasion thing. The cleaner who had been coming for about 9 months at this point was away at the time and I was using a temporary one sent by the agency. When it was discovered to be missing she was back so I mentioned to her that we couldn't find it. She shrugged and said she had no idea.

About three weeks later she walks in to the room saying "is this the necklace you lost?". It was. I asked her to show me where she'd found it and she took me to the bedroom and said it was on the floor behind some stuff, beneath the chest which it was typically on top of. It could have fallen there, but I am reasonably sure that I looked down there when hunting for it. I decided to give her the benefit of the fairly considerable doubt.

A couple of weeks ago my mum gave me an advent calendar for my 6 year old son. A few days ago he saw it in my room and asked if it was for him. I said it was, and that he'd start it in December of course and he was studying the numbers, etc. Then a couple of days ago I noticed that 22, 23, 24 had all been opened and the chocolates removed. I grilled him about it and he is adamant it wasn't him. In the past I've readily been able to tell when he isn't being completely honest. Clearly he could be making it up, but I really am doubtful. I asked him repeatedly and he was quite sure he hadn't taken them.

Today the cleaner came and went. 19 has been opened too now. I am not 100% certain it wasn't open before she came, but I'm about 80% certain!

And it wasn't my girlfriend; she doesn't like chocolate.

All in all none of the above is something I can be completely sure of, but I'm pretty dubious at this point. I don't want to put her out of a job if she's done nothing wrong, but I don't want her coming any more if she's going to be stealing valuable stuff or half inching inconsequential stuff whilst relying on the idea that my son can carry the blame!

What would you do? Should she stay or must she go?

OP posts:
Welshwabbit · 27/11/2013 15:24

I know I've looked for something in a place in the past, thought it wasn't there, then looked again and found it later. The chest could certainly have shifted in one of the moves so the necklace fell down. I can't see why your cleaner would nick your child's advent chocolates. Presumably you have chocolates/biscuits/other foodstuffs elsewhere in the house and wouldn't object to her taking some of that to have with her tea? I don't think I'd want to terminate her engagement on that kind of evidence myself.

Bowlersarm · 27/11/2013 15:25

Honestly , it would take a very silly adult to risk a job over 2 or 3 advent calendar chocolates.

picnicbasketcase · 27/11/2013 15:25

Necklace - I think the cleaner didn't take it, it's perfectly possible for people to search an area repeatedly only for a fresh pair of eyes to find something.

Chocolate - ridiculous to consider firing someone over this, far more likely to be your son. I remember eating chocolates early and trying to close the doors back up, and kids now will be no different.

pianodoodle · 27/11/2013 15:26

I think your son ate the chocolate sorry! If I was going to nick a bit of chocolate It would be from a bar or a box where one or two missing wouldn't be noticed.

I wouldn't pick open the last few doors of an advent calendar Grin

LittleBairn · 27/11/2013 15:26

Really you want fire someone because you suspect she ate some advent chocolate? How petty.

softlysoftly · 27/11/2013 15:27

How messy is your house that you didn't notice a diamond necklace wasn't on top of a cabinat for ages Confused

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:27

"We can be fairly certain that the cleaner is not stealing advent chocolate.
She is an adult!"

She definitely takes coke from the fridge without ever having asked. But I just figured that's a reasonable thing to do. Surely she could buy herself a drink too?

Laurie, webcam comment was a joke. Though someone did suggest I try to trap her.

My thread title was AIBU to NOT fire the cleaner. I haven't fired her and am disinclined to TBH. I just wondered what others would do.

OP posts:
ThisWayForCrazy · 27/11/2013 15:27

I have definitely looked for things in a specific place and then my husband has found it in the exact same place...

Your kid is eating the chocolate.

picnicbasketcase · 27/11/2013 15:29

Presumably she thinks it won't be a problem to have a drink in your house. If it bothers you why not tell her she's not allowed your coke? Whilst you're explaining your intense distaste for her tiny chocolate theft.

pianodoodle · 27/11/2013 15:29

Forgot to add as an adult I wouldn't pick the doors on an advent calendar if I didn't want to be caught out.

As a child I picked many a door :)

QuickQuickSloe · 27/11/2013 15:29

YABU

She needs teaching a lesson. Not only did she find a valuable necklace that your partner had failed to look after properly but she has also failed to steal cheap chocolate from a child! Angry

Bowlersarm · 27/11/2013 15:29

My cleaner helps herself to a coke from my fridge. Because I tell her to. Or she makes herself a coffee.

Shonajoy · 27/11/2013 15:31

No you should not get rid of cleaner.

Nancy66 · 27/11/2013 15:31

Advent Calendar chocolate is disgusting.

Your kid is eating it FGS, it's so bloody obvious.

LittleBairn · 27/11/2013 15:32

If you secretly film her she can sue you.
On the necklace its possible someone else in your life took it then gave it back trying to make it look like it fell down.
She would have no reason to give it back to you.

Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:32

"Presumably she thinks it won't be a problem to have a drink in your house. If it bothers you why not tell her she's not allowed your coke? "

Blimey you like to go on the attack eh?! Where did I say it bothered me? In fact I even said that I thought that helping yourself to a drink was a reasonable thing to do. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
ViewFromThe4thFloor · 27/11/2013 15:35

LittleBairn I am not intending to film her, but that's interesting - can you really not film someone in your own house if you don't tell them? who knew!

OP posts:
BritInTDot · 27/11/2013 15:36

maybe the cleaner took the necklace before she went away. Maybe she 'borrowed it', and brought it back when she returned....seeing as though you obviously don't take very good care of it, maybe she thought you wouldn't notice if she borrowed it for a short while....just playing devil's advocate!

I don't think she is eating the chocolate though. Definitely your son.

lborolass · 27/11/2013 15:37

If you're happy with her cleaning otherwise I'd be sure to lock up all the valuables just so there can't be a repeat occurrence, I'd probably put the advent calendar out of reach too.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 15:39

I think you should give up having a cleaner at all, OP. I don't think having someone else in your house is good for your peace of mind - whether or not it's this person or a new person.

EasterHoliday · 27/11/2013 15:40

whether or not you decide to let your cleaner go (& if you do, it sounds like you'll never find one you really trust), PLEASE get a safe or a jewellery box and use it, or trade the diamonds in for plastic beads.

OohBridget · 27/11/2013 15:41

I think your cleaner borrowed the necklace for her holiday.

in think I your kid is a good liar. Or your cleaner has issues Grin

JinglingRexManningDay · 27/11/2013 15:41

Save your cleaner the hassle and let her go. You sound like a nightmare to work for. She finds a necklace and your immediate thought is she took it? Hmm And you are whinging about her having a bit of coke from your fridge? Unbelievable.

Your kids lying and eating the chocolates.

QOD · 27/11/2013 15:42

You're the 3rd person to post ant cleaners and diamond necklaces in the last, hmmmm 3 months
Pooooossssibly why you're getting a hard time!

Sharon?

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 27/11/2013 15:44

Wasn't there another thread not so long ago about a diamond necklace going AWOL?

I think it WBU to sack someone based on the situations presented.
I also think the most likely candidate for the chocolate disappearing is a 6 year old who thinks it won't be noticed.

HTH.