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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to live in a cold house.

107 replies

Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:21

DH is a bit funny about the heating and hot water.

Every so often he fiddles about with it and decides it's on too often.

So, this morning I got up to a wet bed (thanks, DS2) and after cleaning and changing him I ran myself a bath.

Went to get in and it was cold. Not just a bit cold, freezing. I actually cried.

DH said, oh that's because I had a bath last night. I said wtf? Surely the hot water would have reheated overnight? No, apparently it's now on a timer so we have limited hot water, it reheats at some point in the day and that's it.

So I've had a lukewarm shower. I was visibly upset and DH has gone to work in a bit of a strop because he feels that I'm having a go at him for having a bath last night, which is SO not the point.

During this conversation, while I was standing in the freezing cold bathroom draining my freezing cold bath I said something about hating getting up when it's cold, and DH said, yeah, maybe I should set the heating to come on before we get up.

Yes folks, the heating goes off at 10pm and on at 7am (and then off during the day). We go to bed at around 11 and get up at 6.

WIBU to put my foot firmly down and ban him from fiddling with it? I want the hot water on all the time (I'm fairly sure it isn't that much more expensive, and we are NOT struggling for money) and the heating on for an extra two hours a day.

I just find it the most miserable soul crushing thing in the world to get up in a cold house and have a cold bath.

AIBU?

OP posts:
UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps · 27/11/2013 07:24

YABU to want to wake up in the old but it does sound like you want the heating on a bit much. Our heating clicks off at 8:30 and we're in bed for 10:30 but the house stays warm. It's on for about 45 mins before we get up.

If we go for a bath we boost the hot water otherwise our showers will be cold in the morning as it's excessive to have hot water on all the time and we don't have a bath more than say twice a week.

Smoorikins · 27/11/2013 07:25

I used to share a house with an electrician, who said that having the hot water tank on all the time is cheaper than only heating it up when you need the hot water, due to having to hear it from cold every time.

I don't know if its true, but it might be worth researching.

As for having the heating off until after you get up.... Wtf is that all about?

Fairylea · 27/11/2013 07:25

If it isn't a budgeting issue then yanbu.

Why does he get to override you without even discussing it? Sounds really controlling to me. And unfair. No one wants a cold bath!

CrohnicallySick · 27/11/2013 07:27

YANBU. I thought with a storage heater it would work out more economical to keep the hot water on most of the time, as then you aren't having to heat up a huge amount of water from stone cold? And with the heating, I wouldn't find it a problem going off at 10 for bed at 11, but our house does stay pretty warm. For that reason we tend to have the heating on just for an hour in the morning, could you try putting it on from 6-7 instead of 7-8? Once you are up and about and dressed a cold house doesn't seem as bad anyway.

Oh, and when I say on/off, our heating is set to a warm ish temperature the whole time (16 or 17 degrees) and turned up to 18 or so in the morning and evening, just so that when it's really cold out, the house doesn't cool down too much. Again I feel it's less economical to heat it from stone cold than to maintain a warm temperature. Especially now DD is here we are in at some point every day.

Lweji · 27/11/2013 07:28

You definitely need to turn it on at at least 5am so it's reasonably warm when you get up.
Turning it off an hour before bedtime may be ok, if the house is well insulated.
Have you got good loft insulation?

And you should have hot water the whole day or at the very least for the morning and evening.

Original poster
Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:31

Smoorikins, that's what I've always thought, too.

I am definitely going to look into it.

Unicorns, if I stay up to watch a film or something, by 11.30 it is FREEZING. We are replacing the windows and front door next year and converting the loft, that will make a big difference to the insulation, but until then its a draughty cold house, even with all the doors shut.

DH woudl have meant well (more money means more fun stuff) but this is a non negotiable for me and I'd rather have less wine....

OP posts:
tiredteacherxmassoon · 27/11/2013 07:34

Mine is on from 6pm-9pm. Not on in the morning or during the day at all. I think its wasted heat in the morning as you're not there long enough to warrant it. Mind you I do have a combi boiler so do have hot water.

Original poster
Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:36

Yes, ours is a hot water tank thing.

When it's gone it's gone.

OP posts:
janey68 · 27/11/2013 07:37

Check out the actual facts about costs
It sounds exorbitant to want the hot water on all the time tbh
But maybe compromise and have it coming on earlier

I can see both sides of this temperature thing... On the one hand it can feel miserable to not be warm enough, but people's definition of warm enough has changed massively. Not that long ago many of us lived in houses without central heating... I know as a child we had a coal fire in the sitting room, small electric pull cord heaters in the bedroom to be used only to heat the room before bed time, and single glazing. Don't remember feeling particularly cold as a child... And then when I was a student no one put the heating on- too expensive. I'm not suggesting a return to those days but there has to be a happy medium. Lots of people these days seem to want rooms roasting. People entering my office at work often say its chilly... Er no, perfectly normal steady temperature, it's just their offices are like a sauna!

akachan · 27/11/2013 07:39

Yabu to what hot water in the morning!

I don't think that's right about it bring cheaper to keep it hot though. Imagine a pan of water that you needed to be at a certain temperature at 6 pm - it wouldn't be cheaper to heat it at 9 am and then keep the gas on low all day to maintain it. Same with your water tank. Whenever you initially heat the water it takes a certain amount of energy - keeping it there is extra energy. I can't see how it would work out cheaper.

Of course, it might be well worth the extra energy for the benefit of having hot water all the time!

Preciousbane · 27/11/2013 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RevengeWiggle · 27/11/2013 07:44

YANBU, if you can afford to keep the heating on for an extra two hours then you should be able to without him overriding you. Unless of course you're walking around in a bikini but that doesn't seem to be the case when all you're asking for is to wake up in a warm house.

livinginwonderland · 27/11/2013 07:47

YANBU to want hot water on demand. We turn ours on as/when and it only takes a couple of minutes to get a hot bath once it's switched on. It gets turned off if it's not being used, but I would be very pissed off if I couldn't have a hot bath/shower as and when I wanted.

But I don't think the heating needs to be on that much. We barely ever have ours on during the day even when we're all home. It gets put on for an hour or so at 6am when we get up, and most days, that's it. If it's really freezing it goes on for an hour or two in the evenings but we don't need it on more than that, really.

Preciousbane · 27/11/2013 07:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WooWooOwl · 27/11/2013 07:50

YANBU.

I wouldn't mind the heating going off at 10, although I'm a fan of a toasty warm home, but if you are staying up to watch a film or something then you can snuggle under blankets.

The hot water would make me cry too though. YANBU to want constant access to hot water.

writingquestion · 27/11/2013 07:53

I am genuinely surprised at these responses. We have always, always had our heating and our hot water on a timer. Why on earth would you keep it on throughout the night? Its a complete waste of money.

At this time of year now that its turned cold ours comes on at 6am for an hour to warm the house and to give us hot water for showers. having the water heated for a hour will mean I have warm water throughout the morning for washing up etc. It is then timed to come on at 3.30 so that by the time the DCs get home from school the house is warm and there's water for a bath.

It then goes off once the DCs go to bed at 7.30. The house is fine having been heated for four hours. We light a fire and use blankets.

Delilahlilah · 27/11/2013 07:54

Akachan it isn't a comparison to a pan, because of the quantities involved. Think more along the lines of a paddling pool. That much water takes a lit of energy to heat up from cold. Whereas if it is warm and is heated as it tops up it won't require as much energy to reach temperature.
We used to have a staticcaravan, with gas CH. We relied thermostat,and kept it warm by letting the boiler regulate itself. Next door lived in a scarf,and coats indoors and did the minimal hour in morning and evening. They used more gas than we did.

Original poster
Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:54

TBH the heating going off in the evening is the very least of my moans. I'm more annoyed that it doens't come on until we've all been up for an hour, I just thought we had a particularly cold house.

DH did straight away say that he'd sort that though. It's only really felt this cold for the last week or so.

I'm glad it's not just me that needs the hot water to be hot though.

Brr.

OP posts:
writingquestion · 27/11/2013 07:55

The thing about keeping the water on being cheaper and also keeping the heating on constantly at a low temperature was discussed a lot last year and all the "experts" said its definitely not cheaper.

Writerwannabe83 · 27/11/2013 07:56

He is definitely being unreasonable! I love having the heating on and there is nothing worse than waking up to a cold house!! We have ours on timer to come on about an hour before we get up. I'm off sick at the moment and the hearing is on between 7am-1pm and then again from about 7pm-11pm. We usually have hot water on demand but we are having issues with our boiler at the moment so it's a bit hit and miss. My husband is happy having cold or Luke warm showers but I'm certainly it!! I am regularly going round to my MIL's house for my long, hot soaks in the bath Smile

If finances aren't an issue then of course you have the right to a hot bath in your own home whenever you want one Smile I too have been in the horrible position of looking forward to getting into a bath and then finding it to be cold....I feel your pain!!

Original poster
Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:56

And actually I woudn't mind if the hot water came on twice, but it doens't. So having a bath in the evening means there's no hot water for the morning. Which is just all kinds of fucked up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:56

It's the worst thing in the world, isn't it?

There were tears.

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 07:56

I understand your issues but feel that I also understand your DH too. My DH is always putting the heating on and it's too bloody expensive! We're going to get whacked with the bill at some point and it's going to be bad.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 27/11/2013 07:58

Our heating and hot water is on pretty much constantly. I work shifts so sometimes leave the House at 2pm for dh to get in at 5pm. As such I would have to fiddle with the timer daily and sometimes would only save three hours. Ours is an old rickety terrace with exposed wood floors and can cool.down very quickly.

We pay £100 pcm for gas and electric combined and I am.happy to pay this for a constant supply of heat. Come March/April.it will go.off (then just hot water) til Nov.

loveolives · 27/11/2013 08:01

We don't even have central heating our house, as in there are no radiators just open fires.

Heating is a luxury not an essential.