I don't want to live in a cold house.

[Fuckityfuckers]

DH is a bit funny about the heating and hot water.

Every so often he fiddles about with it and decides it's on too often.

So, this morning I got up to a wet bed (thanks, DS2) and after cleaning and changing him I ran myself a bath.

Went to get in and it was cold. Not just a bit cold, freezing. I actually cried.

DH said, oh that's because I had a bath last night. I said wtf? Surely the hot water would have reheated overnight? No, apparently it's now on a timer so we have limited hot water, it reheats at some point in the day and that's it.

So I've had a lukewarm shower. I was visibly upset and DH has gone to work in a bit of a strop because he feels that I'm having a go at him for having a bath last night, which is SO not the point.

During this conversation, while I was standing in the freezing cold bathroom draining my freezing cold bath I said something about hating getting up when it's cold, and DH said, yeah, maybe I should set the heating to come on before we get up.

Yes folks, the heating goes off at 10pm and on at 7am (and then off during the day). We go to bed at around 11 and get up at 6.

WIBU to put my foot firmly down and ban him from fiddling with it? I want the hot water on all the time (I'm fairly sure it isn't that much more expensive, and we are NOT struggling for money) and the heating on for an extra two hours a day.

I just find it the most miserable soul crushing thing in the world to get up in a cold house and have a cold bath.

AIBU?

*in our house

Oh, you poor thing, I hate being cold!!

It sounds like part of the problem is people taking baths at opposite ends of the day, and not thinking about the effect this has on poor old you! I know it sounds a bit overkill, but is there any way that you can create more of a bathing routine so that you know the water is available when you need it?

I looked into the 'leaving heating on' issue in my last house, which had a hot water tank. I found very conflicting opinions online about it. The Energy Saving Trust (who seem to be experts) say it does NOT save energy to have the heating on all the time. However, other people vehemently disagree.

I did a very rough and ready experiment in my old house with both strategies, keeping an eye on the gas meter. I found that keeping the heating on all the time was more expensive for me, even if I turned the boiler down to the minimum. It was more comfy and practical having two bursts of heating either end of the day. But I can't emphasize how unscientific this all was: it was only true for me, in my old house, and another person may have decided on a different balance.

My new house has a combi boiler. :)

There doesn't seem to be a lot of love going on in your cold house.Put your foot down and demand hot water and heating.He sounds jolly mean.

My DH fiddle arses around with thermostat and timer to reduce heating hot water costs. It makes me fume as he applies no logic to the settings, I dececided not to be such a wifey and learn how to do it myself and now I do!

Heating on from 6-7am, 4- 7 pm cold by bedtime but we go to bed relatively early

It cheaper to have the hot water on all day. It's also healthier as all sorts of bugs can develop in the tank if it's consistently stored below 50-55 degrees.
True story.

I bet you anything if it affected him the heating would be on all the time.He puts the heating on for an hour when he gets up.The kids are in school so no opening and closing doors,though i give in sometimes and put it on for a while before they come in.It goes on at night before kids go to bed so the room is warm.

If he timed it so it wen on before you get up at least if your ds wets the bed you would have hot e water for a shower at least.

Op can you work the heating controls? If not then learn how to do it and change the settings yourself. You shouldn't have to wait for your H to sort it for you.

Yanbu to have the hot water on twice a day. I think most households do this. We all need hot water in the morning and evening so it make sense to have it on twice. I can't see how a family could survive on it being heated up only once a day.

The chap from Money Saving Expert- Martin Lewis was on tv last week and he said it is NOT cheaper to have the heating/hot water on all the time. It uses up more energy so your bills will be higher.

I do know how to do it.

He just arbitrarily decides every once in a while to fiddle with the settings.

He's not mean or miserly in anything else, just with the heating. It's a bit odd.

Now I'v ementioned it, it'll be sorted out. Until the next time he fiddles.

When we do the house stuff next year I expect we'll get a new boiler and solve all this.

It is NOT cheaper to have the hot water on all the time. I'm always surprised how many people think that. Of course it's comparable to keeping a pan of water heating all day - it's basic physics regardless of the quantities involved.

Why can't you set the heating? Find the instructions online if the booklet is hidden and empower yourself. You don't need your husband's permission to put on the heating.

I can do it!

Easier for him to though as he's here more, I work longer hours so the house stuff tends to be his domain.

YANBU at all, the point is that it should be a joint decision that suits you both.
Sit him down & tell him what you need.

Our hot water goes on for an hour first thing in the morning and then again for an hour in the early evening. This means there is hot water whether a bath is had in the morning or at night.

Since we moved here in the summer and had the boiler replaced, DH has no idea how to work the controls at all. And since I updated the controls on the immersion heaters he doesn't 'get' them either. He doesn't particularly care either, majority rule in this house.
However, the electricity is cheaper overnight so we heat both tanks between 1 and 5am. This is usually sufficient for a whole day of hot water. If we've used unusual amounts I put the tank onto Boost for a while for the evening showers. The heating is on just before getting up time. What's the point in showering and getting dressed in the cold then sitting down to breakfast fully dressed with the heating on.
Having an electric shower which heats the water itself would stop the morning cold water issue but they also use more electricity.

Is he my DH? He is always fiddling with the heating/hot water and the thermostat (especially when he comes in hot from cycling home!) However, I fiddle back

YANBU at all. We have the heating/hot water come on half an hour/45mins before we get up and goes off half an hour before we leave.
It comes on again around the time the DC/I get home and off again about half an hour before we generally go to bed.

It should be a JOINT decision! Don't let him make daily living so uncomfortable!

Yes, YANBU to want the hot water to come on at 6am.. Draw up a plan of when everyone needs the heating on. Our heating goes on an hour before the earliest riser is dressed and goes off when the latest riser should/can be dressed by.

We only had central heating installed last year (as well as double glazing). Prior to this we had 7 years of cold with one plug in electric heater in the room and a calor gas heater in the bathroom.

Hot water tank took 20mins to heat for a shallow bath/shower and 30 mins for a good hot bath. When we used this, we tried to only have it on once a day.

In the evenings we had blankets and hot water bottles to keep warm, which was fine.

I do agree that getting up in the cold is horrible. Now we have CH, our timer is set for 30mins before we get up to take the chill off. We try to only have it on for an hour in the morning and two in the evening.

DH has been doing masses of research on how to be economical with heating and says that there is a lot of conflicting information, but it looks as if it is better to have a quick burst morning and evening.

YANBU

Your husband is being an inconsiderate prick, and my guess is that he's realised it this morning, and that's the real reason he's in a strop. He's set the timer for his own convenience, and screw the rest of you, and he was feeling all pleased with himself for saving money. Tell him if he's so bothered about energy saving he should be having a shower instead of a bath, so there might be hot water for the rest of you. And every night, before you go to bed, reset the timer to come on at 5am, for as long as it takes till he gets the hint.

There might be ways to keep you both happier. Like a shit load of lagging on your hot water tank, or better still, upgrade it to a proper thermal store (not cheap, but should keep water piping hot overnight, if there's any hot water left!). Consider switching to a combi boiler, or at least fitting an electric shower.

Ps. Adding voice to those who say leaving the heating on 24hours is crap... Probably invented by energy companies.

DH is being a total tool if he thinks only having the hot water on once a day is a good idea.

Hot water on all the time (or at least overnight andater afternoon to refill for morning and evening washing) and heating coming on at 5.30ish to get the house warm for getting up.

Personally I would leave it going off an hour before bed and snuggle down under a duvet in the sitting room, but if you're house looses the heater quickly then would be nice to keep it on.

I feel you pain, my old house used to get cold so so so quickly and my bedroom was in the freezing attic. I always made sure the heating came on before I had to get up for work.

in my house we have a really rubbish electic boiler don't get gas where we live,the house is always freezing and heating hot water only comes on twice a day no way to overide it sort of like white meter but v expensive.I was in a really bad rta 2 years ago and all i wanted to do was have a nice bath when i got in,but cause my dh had had a bath the water was dirt cold,it wasn't pleasent having a freezing shower washing bits of glass and blood off

The idea that leaving on for 24 hours is cheaper flies against the laws of physics. Think back to school and recall not only temperature gradients and consequent heat loss but also how much energy it takes to continue to heat up water/other substances as they gets hotter. Quick bursts as you need it is the way to go - unless you can afford to have it on all the time which is a different matter.

This is a big issue if you are the person who feels the cold. My hands and feet get cold really quickly and once really chilled it would take a soak in a hot bath to get me warm again.

DP has just gone to work in a mac over trousers and a cotton top, perhaps with another thin layer underneath. She will have a scarf on, big cotton one that I would wear in the summer.

I will be going out in a little while. I will wear jeans, cotton top over a vest and a big wooly jumper. I will have Dr Martens lined boots over warm socks, a padded hooded coat, wooly scarf, hat and lined gloves.

I have my bath really hot, DW leapt out the first time I ran a bath for her, I think she though I was trying to cook her

Neither of us can truly understand the other; I want to pile extra layers onto DP and she thinks I am nesh. (Saying that, she is more understanding after all this time and buys me little handwarmers, fills my hot water bottle etc. I have stopped buying her the scarves and gloves that I would want)

So we have learned to compromise. The heating is on most of the day as I work from home. I turn it down to a lower temp once the living room is warmed up. All the doors have curtains and I am just getting the lining sorted for the window curtains. I wear more clothes than DW. We both have blankets to wrap up in when reading or watching TV.

We had a new boiler installed and it is fab, just warms the water up as it is needed. Could you bring forward the installation of the boiler? Even if you need new radiators and don't want the disruption now, having instant hot water for your bath will be cheaper.

Brrrr... a wet bed and a cold shower on a winter's morning - not surprised you were in a strop!

Your DH is sensible putting the hot water and heating on timed though. Even if you have all the money in the world, energy is a limited resource. Having it go off an hour before bed time makes perfect sense: the house should stay relatively warm but the gradual cooling helps prepare you physiologically for sleep. Having it on all the time is a waste of your money (and I appreciate you can afford it) and the world's energy resources. OTOH you def need the heating to come on half an hour or so before you get up.

BTW Having the hot water/heating on all the time is NOT cheaper than having it on sometimes. How ridiculous, and how sad that some people believe this (and often the ones who can least afford their energy bills). Wasted energy is a function of temperature difference, surface area, emission co-efficient of the surface in question, and time. The longer your hot water/heating is on for, the more energy will be wasted: no matter how well insulated your tank/house, it is not 100% heat tight.

What's inconsiderate here is the changing and not thinking about other people also needing hot water. If choose if he used all the hot water he should have thought of that, but with a track its easy to have a rule of half an hour before everyone gets up, across ths children's bath time and then any adult who runs a bath later to put Tyre hot water on boost so there's still some for other uses.