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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to live in a cold house.

107 replies

Fuckityfuckers · 27/11/2013 07:21

DH is a bit funny about the heating and hot water.

Every so often he fiddles about with it and decides it's on too often.

So, this morning I got up to a wet bed (thanks, DS2) and after cleaning and changing him I ran myself a bath.

Went to get in and it was cold. Not just a bit cold, freezing. I actually cried.

DH said, oh that's because I had a bath last night. I said wtf? Surely the hot water would have reheated overnight? No, apparently it's now on a timer so we have limited hot water, it reheats at some point in the day and that's it.

So I've had a lukewarm shower. I was visibly upset and DH has gone to work in a bit of a strop because he feels that I'm having a go at him for having a bath last night, which is SO not the point.

During this conversation, while I was standing in the freezing cold bathroom draining my freezing cold bath I said something about hating getting up when it's cold, and DH said, yeah, maybe I should set the heating to come on before we get up.

Yes folks, the heating goes off at 10pm and on at 7am (and then off during the day). We go to bed at around 11 and get up at 6.

WIBU to put my foot firmly down and ban him from fiddling with it? I want the hot water on all the time (I'm fairly sure it isn't that much more expensive, and we are NOT struggling for money) and the heating on for an extra two hours a day.

I just find it the most miserable soul crushing thing in the world to get up in a cold house and have a cold bath.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/11/2013 08:55

My hot water is on constantly.
The hearing comes on at 5am, goes off at 8am.
Comes back in at 4pm until 10pm.

We pay £110 month for gas/electric combined.

I couldn't stand not having hot water or heat in the morning.

tobiasfunke · 27/11/2013 09:02

Get yourself a new timer. Our has capacity to set the heating and hot water to come on 3 times a day as well as an hourly boost function. It means if you set it right you will have hot water in the morning and at night. Also is your hot water cylinder adequately insulated because if it is the hot water will stay hot if you heat it in the morning?
Our heating and hot water comes on anhour before we get up so we're toasty and can have showers. It's weird to have it come on after you are up.

Vivacia · 27/11/2013 09:02

I agree that it's not the number of hours the heating is on, but which hours. That should be a joint decision, taking everyone's wishes and lifestyle in to consideration.

Bonsoir · 27/11/2013 09:02

B hell! Your H had a hot bath last night but prevented you from having one this morning. That is really* abusive in my book.

SignoraStronza · 27/11/2013 09:16

We have a hot water tank in the loft. Massive beast of a thing for a three bed semi, but think the last owner was a plumber. We have the heating on for an hour in the morning before we get up, and a couple of hours on the evening. Occasionally I'll boost it for an hour if I'm in during the day.

Hot water seems to be plentiful and really hot. A couple of showers in the morning, a few bits of washing up and a bath in the evening. Is your tank properly lagged op? If it is well and truly insulated it shouldn't lose to much heat in between bursts of central heating.

We don't have a thermostat in our house, other than wonky rad valves so not much of an option to keep it on low all day either. I'll is dead expensive too!

Vivacia · 27/11/2013 09:27

Your H had a hot bath last night but prevented you from having one this morning.

That's not what I read happened.

MissMilbanke · 27/11/2013 09:31

Share a bath next time Wink

Damnautocorrect · 27/11/2013 09:32

You need hot water in the morning at the very least. I agree you need some heating in the morning, we have no heating so I sympathise it is shit and makes it harder to get up and get going

HazleNutt · 27/11/2013 09:34

YANBU, unless you really have to save on heating to afford to eat. Otherwise heating is essential, not a luxury. Ours is never off. even if we were financially struggling, I'd rather be hungry than cold.

Bonsoir · 27/11/2013 09:50

Vivacia - really? That is precisely what I read happened.

LessMissAbs · 27/11/2013 10:00

YANBU. DH fiddled with our brand new, state of the art central heating system a few months ago and I had to get a plumber out to set it up again. Even the plumber was flummoxed by what he did to it and he had to call an electrician.

The only way to tackle it I found is to completely master it myself and not allow Dh near it again on pain of death.

Theres also an argument that keeping CH on at a low level 24 hours a day is cheaper than having it come off and on, ditto the hot water.

My house is always warm now :-)

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 27/11/2013 10:02

Last year during the snow, it was quite amusing how many MN posted that their DH had either not gone into work or come home early....to a cold house, as the heating usually comes on as they are arving home from work at 6 ish.

So many MN posted to say that they came in, and said "oohh, its cold in here...." then wacked the heating on. Confused

Vivacia · 27/11/2013 10:02

Somebody using up all of the last of the hot water used to happen all of the time when we were growing up (especially when us kids hit our teens). Running out of hot water was due to a lack of resources or consideration or knowledge rather than abuse. I think that this is what happened here.

Bubbles1066 · 27/11/2013 10:08

We can only afford 3 hours of central heating a day but thankfully have a combi boiler, so hot water isn't an issue if you really need a shower there is always hot water. We wash hands etc in cold water though and limit showers for cost reasons. I have the heating on for one hour in the morning, coming on 30 minutes before we get up, one hour at lunch (SAHM so we are usually in at lunch time) and an hour at dinner time to warm the kids rooms before bed. Once the kids are in bed I never put the heating on as they are wrapped up and we use blankets or just go to bed ourselves in the evenings. I do side with your OH I'm afraid.

HazleNutt · 27/11/2013 10:14

OP is not struggling for money though, so it's not because they can't afford to have the heating on.

50shadesofknackered · 27/11/2013 10:22

Yanbu! I put ours on loads in the day (whenever I'm cold really) it does come on at set times but in winter that is normally not often enough! It's your house too, why should you be cold? Get it set to come on more often, if money isn't an issue why suffer!

Fairylea · 27/11/2013 10:23

Bubbles we do exactly the same as you for cost reasons... but op isn't struggling financially, her dp is just a tight arse :)

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 27/11/2013 10:25

It is a British thing to think permanent hot water is an "exorbitant luxury" , never ceases to amaze me.

If you have a good (insulated) hot water tank, keeping the water hot is more energy efficient than letting it go cold, and then having to reheat it all up again ( say my plumbers), that is, if you have a modern-ish system.

About the heating, make it come on for half and hour before you get up. Off during the day (if you are all out), in the afternoon we have it on from 4:30 ( after school run) to 8. It stays warm enough until about 10.

No need to be miserable. Make sure you go to bed just after DH so you can adjust the settings for next day Wink

nauticant · 27/11/2013 10:32

I'm with the posters on here, and Cambridge University's Engineering Department, who say heating water as and when is more efficient than keeping it hot:

www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/questions/question/2978/

nauticant · 27/11/2013 10:34

To answer the "who had the bath?" argument, there appear to have been two baths last night:

after cleaning and changing him I ran myself a bath

DH has gone to work in a bit of a strop because he feels that I'm having a go at him for having a bath last night

SummerRain · 27/11/2013 10:39

Our oil has run out at the minute but when we have heating its on for 2 hours in the morning and two in the evening. We have an open fire in the living room which is lit in the evening and we let it die down from about 9, the embers keep that room cozy all night.

During the day if it gets too cold I run the electric heater for an hour or two in the living room. Hot water bottles in the beds at night.

Hot water only goes on if we need ot for the dishes, we have an electric shower.

A cold house is horrible but it costs a fortune to heat the whole house so we prioritise one or two rooms we're in and just layer up.

Heathcliff27 · 27/11/2013 10:41

YANBU, our heating is on a timer, 6am-9am then 5pm-9pm. We have a combi boiler now so the hot water tank has gone, even if the heating is off we have hot water as the boiler kicks in to give hot water every time hot tap running. I grew up in a cold fking freezing house, never again!

Latara · 27/11/2013 10:41

YANBU - it helps you get up in the morning if it's warm and the water is hot for a shower.

As for my heating, well something is wrong with it and I've got to phone
British Gas, wish me luck.

HazleNutt · 27/11/2013 10:41

nauticant no, OP said "So, this morning ... I ran myself a bath."

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 27/11/2013 10:46

Nauticant, that example is for a single person showering 5 mins a day, ie not relevant to most families!

English people are happy to fork out £££ on mediocre takeaways, then sit in a cold house.

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