to be struggling to get my DSs to school on time?

[VelvetSpoon]

DS1 (yr11) didn't go to school again today. DS2 (yr8) went but was barely on time. They are late often, they had been doing better since half term, and hadn't been late at all. In the last week DS1 has been late twice, and today didn't go in at all.

I am struggling. They refuse to get up in the morning, and as I am out of the house before 7.30 I don't have time to spend ages waking them, but if I don't there's a risk they'll be late. Or I have to stay later and make myself late for work.

School aren't interested. With a A-C passrate below 40%, DS1 (who can get a C without working or revising) isn't a priority.

I have tried removal of xbox, it works temporarily but not beyond a day or two (even if its still confiscated then).

Am at my wits end really.

Year 8 (12/13) not age 8 LaGuardia!!!

LaGuardia maybe you should wipe away your tears and learn to bloody read. The youngest is in year 8, so 13 years old.

LaGuardia, a y8 is 12 years old and a y11 15 years old. They are most certainly NOt to young to be able to get to school on time and to stay a couple of hourse alone at home until their mum gets back.

They have alarms but sleep through them. It can take ages to get them up in the morning and I don't always have time to keep going in to their rooms and calling and calling them.

Plus, there's always the risk even if they are up, they'll go back to bed.

School is a 10 min max walk from our house, which doesn't help. They could get up at 8.15 and still make it for the start of school at 8.30.

DS1 has no issues with school other than not finding it challenging enough, at the moment all they are doing is revision classes which he says he can do himself....he has a career plan, and wants to go to uni to do dental surgery.

year 8 not age 8

sorry for countless typos!

yabu have you always had to work such long hours - or at least been out of the house so long? What did you do before they went to secondary?

In theory they should be able to get themselves up and to school but my guess is in reality they won't.

The school are being really crap.

I woudld expect an afterschool detention at least for not going to school.

You have to get harsh, wake up earlier yourself, and get them up and ready by the time you leave.

There is a reason teenagers don't live by themselves....it's because they still need looking after.

Yes, DS2 is Year 8, and is 12. A small 12, but very definitely not 8!

Water pistols. A few rude awakenings by having water sprayed at them should get their arses moving.

If they can't be trusted to get up on time, then they get up and leave with you at 7.30am.

Velvetspoon - I think his career plan will be way off if he can't even sort himself out to go to school!!

LaGuardia the youngest is yr8, so 12/13, old enough to go to school alone. Ours are encouraged to do it from yr5/6. 10yrs old.

And I imagine he'll be needing A's rather than C's for dentisry.

agree with living wonderland, they cant be trusted the get them up earlier and have them out house with u at half 7.

take xbox, phones, kindles, laptops, put ur foot down, ur the parent.

Does your eldest know that colleges get an attendance/punctuality report from school alongside the reference? Unauthorised absences and lates will not get him far along his career path.

He will need As for dentistry.

Is it feasible for them to go to breakfast club?

So like has been suggested many times, why don't you make them leave the house with you??

Could you perhaps get an au pair to help before and after school?

How can the OP make them leave with her? Are they supposed to stand outside the school for an hour?

I get to school at 7:30am in the morning - there are already kids there, sat in the canteen (not open for food) or outside under the canopies. I assume they also can't be trusted to get to school if left alone, so they arrive early.

Well, if they can't be trusted to get up later and get to school on time, obviously they're not old enough and will have to get up with mum and be left outside. If they know that everytime they don't go to school, they'll have to go at 7.30am, they'll soon learn.

most secondary schools have morning clubs and libarys that r open .

I don't think the school gates even open til 8. It is secondary school, so no breakfast club or anything like that.

I can make them leave for school with me if its the only option, but they will then be standing in the cold for the best part of an hour.

I do take away their xboxes. I have again today. But it doesn't always work. They don't have kindles or ipods.

DS1 is well aware of the grades required for his chosen career. He considers he's capable of A*s across the board. Whether that's likely given the level of his teaching is debatable, but he is getting additional maths/science tuition to help him achieve his best. So I am annoyed he won't go to school given I'm paying for a tutor!

It sounds as if you are stuck between a rock and a hard place Velvet. Having no family around to support you makes your situation all the more difficult. I am sorry to hear that the school is showing no concern as they have the potential to help by correctly dealing with tardiness.
Do you give the pocket money?
If so you could make it so that they only receive pocket money for arriving at school on time.

Is there absolutely no budging your employer, maybe asking for a later start a couple of times per week such as a Monday (always the worst day for getting up) and a Wednesday?

I would be tempted to have a stern word with the school regarding register/roll call and ensuring your child's safety.