To think dd was not silly to get upset

[Verycold]

They watched a documentary about the Titanic today. She is 10.3, year 6. She found it very upsetting and was told off by the teacher for being "silly". Aibu to think it is not silly for quite a young child to find this subject matter upsetting?

Since when was getting upset about hundreds of people dying 'silly'? It's not like it was a cartoon I would be having words with the Head about this teacher. (and I have no problem with kids being called silly or naughty etc when they are.)

In my world a 10 year old is still very much a young child.

It is worrying and strange that some people think a 10 year old isn't allowed to be upset or distressed by something they have seen.

no.. she is not being silly to find zomething like the sinking of a ship thatwas inadequately equipped to deal with upsetting
nor is she silly to find a man being injured upsetting.
it shows zhe has empathy and is human nulile her teacher.

I'm in two minds whether to say something.

I think it sounds likes he was told off for being silly not for being upset. As it's been said, being upset is one thing and your DD is totally entitled to her feelings and may be a sign of emotional maturity, being silly/disruptive and causing an issue because you are upset is unacceptable behaviour at that age.

She's 10 though, is it really something you need to be worrying about, she must be over it by now.

Yanbu - I was 14 in tears at watership down (video at end of term in a class). At the titanic film I am invariably in floods of tears as the ship goes down.

I think the teachers was insensitive.

My grandmother had a phrase to put things you were upset about into perspective: "How does it compare to the loss of a ship". It recognises the enormity of the loss of life, of family members, the hopes for the cargo carried and the financial loss for the owners/backers of the ship. In this case your daughter has recognised the horror of the loss of the Titanic and crying seems fairly reasonable to me.

Of course 10 is young.she is a little girl still
However things like this get more upsetting as you get older not less. you get more mature emotionally and have more understanding.

of course it does depend on how this upset manifested itself! we weren't there so hard to judge.

I think she cried and asked to leave, that's all

My 10 year old would struggle too

the teacher is a twat!! I watched it when 11 .. my family were with me.. our great great aunt was on the boat... we bloody cried!!!!

I'm actually wondering which documentary they watched. I know there was one on about a year ago, which my friend watched with her daughter (who was also 10). I remember her saying that her daughter was upset about the same thing OP has mentioned and I wonder if it was the same documentary.

If so, it was on after the watershed and was quite graphic. My friend said she and her friend were laughing at her DD's upset!

YANBU. Some adults and children show more emotion than others. It doesn't sound as though the teacher handled it well, maybe worth talking to the teacher? There may be other things they'll have to cover that are emotive subjects so it may be worth letting the teacher know that your daughter does have a high level of empathy and understanding and either put up with it and embrace it or allow her to go out as she requested already.

I would struggle to watch a Titanic documentary without crying. As an adult, I don't care particularly what people think of me any more so I would just quietly sob to myself.

I think that there is an argument for staying to watch something harrowing, because sometimes you have to confront the horror and humanity of terrible, shocking events. But I don't think that argument applies to 10 year olds.

When I was at college seven years ago, we were studying Nazi Germany and we looked at the Holocaust. I got upset. So did some other people in the group.

It's perfectly normal for people to get upset over stuff like this. DD cried when they read War Horse at school - so did their horse-crazy teacher!

It is upsetting, of course it is. I found it upsetting as an adult. I'd have a friendly word about it.

I agree with the posters who have said your DD showed maturity and empathy the idea of those victims dying in such awful circumstances is a terrible thought, particularly for a child.

I'm a teacher and teachers like this really hack me off. Your DD could have cried quietly or she could have been sobbing for England - she was upset, the teacher had no right to humiliate her like that. Regardless of the way she expressed it, your DD was uncomfortable and even if her reaction had been OTT it is not the teachers place to humiliate her, it is the teachers place to explain quietly about appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. A 10 year old is still learning about social situations, even if they know in theory how to behave, add in emotions and hormones and it becomes a minefield.

YANBU, I think you should ring the school and request that you are notified of future situations like this that could arise. It could be that your DD is very anxious and needs some support with it.

YANBU. As an adult, you have the advantage of being able to turn something off when you don't want to watch anymore. I still remember pretty much the whole class leaving before the end of Watership Down - they were allowed to, 10 year old me sat there with my chin wobbling and it's only about bunnies! I'd like to see her call my dad silly when he blubbed at the end of Lord of the Rings (I laughed at him, maybe I'm a meany). For reference my dad grew up in a rough part of London in the 50s and has been shot, stabbed and had chairs broken over his head.

People cry at different things and it's not weird to cry about lots of people dying in a terrible disaster.

Stuff I cried at: Scum, Boys Don't Cry, Grave of the Fireflies, Once Were Warriors, loads more films, plus various major disasters and news events.

I'm a fairly big horror fan, but can't watch The Exorcist ever again. I'm not even catholic!

It's a really personal thing and shouldn't be pooh-poohed by anyone (sorry, dad!).

I don't see any fault here. Ten is not too young to learn about the Titanic, and I think it would be very precious of the school to make anything that would be potentially upsetting optional. There's nothing wrong with her being upset, but it also wasn't wrong for a group of 10 year olds to watch a Titanic documentary.

Completely agree withphantomnamechanger - sensitivity is a huge "plus" in a person and the polar opposite of immaturity. I totally agree that it was the members of the class, who were unmoved by this terrible episode of human suffering, who we should be worried about.

I think the teacher was completely out of order and I think you should be very proud of your daughter, OP. I have no doubt she will mature into a kind, considerate and empathetic adult - much nicer than her teacher.

Oh, I cried bucket-loads at Boys Don't Cry and Once Were Warriors too!

I get upset (slightly) if I see Boys Don't Cry bloody advertised in the Radio Times, that's how much it affected me.

Teacher sounds like a cow.

Poor little girl. Id complain. YANBU

YANBU. There's nothing silly about being sensitive.

She asked to leave? I think that's a bit silly, frankly. I don't think the teacher should have said so though.