SIL nightmare

[Littlebear88]

Am I being unreasonable to expect my BIL and SIL to spend Christmas Day with our family (me,DH,DM and DF) after they have spent about 15 years of christmas days with SIL family?

Why is it a nightmare???

Do Boxing Day ...

That should be DB and SIL not BIL, they have 2 children my mum an dad have never had Christmas Day with

YABU they can spend it where they like, as can you.

They should spend Christmas wherever they want to.

Perhaps SIL has a nicer family.

Because this is the first chance thy have had to spend with my mum and dad as they live abroad

Does seem a tiny bit unfair

Could they be persuaded.

Your mum and dad are abroad?

YABU They should spend it where they like.

No SIL very stubborn just think its a little unfair,

YANBU. If the senecio was the other way round mn would be up in arms, but seeing as it's your brother then he has to kiss his in laws arses.

Scenario even.....

Yes they are coming over for Christmas

Exactly! DH and I alternate every year.... So just annoyed that opportunity there and they are not taking it!

I think YANBU anyway.

Would it really kill your DB and SIL to spend one Christmas with your folks who are coming over from abroad?

Yes it seems that DB and SIL value SIL family more

so it's your brother and his wife, yes? with their children? and they live abroad but are in your home country at Christmastime this year? and you would like them to join you and your DH and your parents?

YANBU if I've got all the facts right

But y'know, some folk are strange, if they decline to join you, well, there ya go, such is life. Are you upset for your parents?

I agree with Lucille - if your DB was insisting your SIL spent every Christmas at your parents and the shoe was on the other foot then MN would be up in arms!

have your parents ever gone abroad to spend Christmas with their son and wife and grandchildren?

deep it's OP's parents who are abroad and coming here for Christmas.

Other way round my parents are abroad, we are on same country. I feel bad for my parents although they say they don't mind (they are used to SIL crap!)

Or have I got that wrong?

Yea, they should make the effort if their GPs are over.

Does your DB not get a say into this? Why would he not jump at the chance to have his kids celebrate Christmas with the non-resident grandparents.

There's more to this than you are telling...

Why is SIL a "nightmare"? Does her family always come first? (Obviously at Xmas...).
I can imagine though that would be the case with your parents abroad. And those yearly memories do make a difference....

Is it not possible to combine the days? Or is it too far a distance?

Yanbu, your Db should want to spend time with his own parents.

Yabu, in blaming your SIL for this, surely your Db can talk up for himself? Seems like he would prefer his wife's family though.

They have never been invited to my brothers for Christmas

Is there some back story between your DB and his parents? It seems a bit extreme to not want to spend xmas with your mum and dad after all these years if there is no deep reason.