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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty about this?

115 replies

Babysealion · 23/11/2013 18:34

I unexpectedly fell pregnant in May and my grandparents have been so good to us. when me and DP moved in together in September they basically took me to Dunelm Mill and bought us everything we needed. We got a sofa second-hand for free from one of DP's mum's colleagues.
My grandparents have always done a lot for me growing up and I have a very special relationship with them.
They've bought so many baby things, clothes, helped me out with all my clothes, my nana takes me for my hair, feet and nails doing every 6 weeks. I go out for the day with them once a week and they always send me home with bags of stuff. Because of all their help, me and DP have been able to build up a considerable savings pot for a mortgage and a rainy day fund.
the springs in our sofa have gone so last night we went to Dfs and found one in the sale for £600. We put down a £200 deposit and applied for 3 years interest free finance to pay off the rest. Our finance has been declined as we are not on the electoral roll register.
I rang my nana to ask if she'd put it in her name and we'd set up the standing order for the amount of finance every month to go into her account (so essentially we pay it, her and my grandad just have their names on it).
My nana said no I will pay for it upfront and you give me bits of money towards it every so often.
I feel awful and guilty that she's doing this for us so close to Christmas. AIBU and should I insist on her doing the finance, or let her pay and then we give it her back?

OP posts:
Ifcatshadthumbs · 23/11/2013 18:37

If you have considerable savings then pay for it outright. I don't think your nan should have to take out finance or lend you the money if you have savings

Balaboosta · 23/11/2013 18:38

I don't think you should have asked her and I don't think you should accept. She's done enough. Tell her you've changed your mind about the sofa and find an old one on eBay or gumtree.

BohemianGirl · 23/11/2013 18:39

AIBU and should I insist on her doing the finance, or let her pay and then we give it her back?

It is your nans choice how to pay for it - you however 'owe' her £17 a month for the next 36 months so set your standing order up to cover it.

Because of all their help, me and DP have been able to build up a considerable savings pot for a mortgage and a rainy day fund.

Or of course you could start to be self sufficient and pay for your own sofa outright without involving anyone else in credit agreements

Gruntfuttock · 23/11/2013 18:40

How come you're not on the electoral roll?

Writerwannabe83 · 23/11/2013 18:40

Use your own savings - why did you even ask your nan in the first place? Shock You're about to have a baby, stand up on your own two feet!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/11/2013 18:41

Maybe they don't want to be involved in credit - either in your name or their name.
You've said you'll pay them back so it's not as though you said "Buy me a sofa"

They sound lovely.
They sound like they really want to help you.
You sound like you have enough to deal with at the moment wih moving and the baby on it's way.

You'll make sure that you do pay them back and they won't be out of pocket.
You could maybe set up a standing order into their bank account to pay it monthly?

Preciousbane · 23/11/2013 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babysealion · 23/11/2013 18:43

I did not ask them to lend me the money or buy me a sofa. I asked them to put the finance in their name and me and DP will essentially be paying it every month. The sofa is very uncomfortable to sit on and it's very small.
We will be paying them back within a year. I just feel guilty that they have offered the money upfront.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 23/11/2013 18:46

You wouldn't even be considering this if you really felt "awful and guilty".

Stop taking advantage of your grandparents and pay for it yourselves out of the "considerable savings pot" you have already extracted from them they have previously given to you.

maras2 · 23/11/2013 18:46

What on earth do you have done to your hair,feet and nails every 6 weeks?

NotALondoner · 23/11/2013 18:46

Why buy it if it's uncomfortable? Get a nicer and cheaper one from ikea and pay for it yourself using your savings.

maras2 · 23/11/2013 18:47

Sorry;hope that didn't sound rude but just curious.

Babysealion · 23/11/2013 18:47

Obviously made the wrong decision posting on AIBU. I have not 'extracted' anything from anyone.
I feel awful, I will ring them and tell them it doesn't matter and we will go and pay for it upfront.

OP posts:
thistlelicker · 23/11/2013 18:47

If u have considerable savings then u are being unreasonable! Use them and grow a pair

Ifcatshadthumbs · 23/11/2013 18:48

You haven't said why you can't use your savings? Sorry but time to grow up and find a way to purchase your own sofa without others having to hold your hand.

ruddynorah · 23/11/2013 18:48

Your rainy day money is for your sofa. You sound spoilt.

confusedwwyd · 23/11/2013 18:48

Why are you still relying on them to bail you out? Haven't they done enough? Say thanks for the offer but no, and pay for it yourself out of your savings. Then what you would have spent on finance, put into your savings.

picnicbasketcase · 23/11/2013 18:49

Good decision OP. If you have the money yourselves it's far better not to get loans to pay for something.

LadyAlconleigh · 23/11/2013 18:50

Pay for it yourself! How bloomy cheeky to even ask if you have the cash in the bank.

AgentZigzag · 23/11/2013 18:51

You've said how much they do for you so you must have known they'd offer.

Why are you accepting their money if you have loads stashed away?

If you don't want to shell out that much all in one go, get a cheaper one, but I agree with Chipped that it does look like you're taking advantage of them and wouldn't be posting or even considering it if you felt 'awful and guilty'.

If you feel that bad, don't do it

LadyAlconleigh · 23/11/2013 18:51

blooming Blush

NachoAddict · 23/11/2013 18:51

Pay for it from your savings. Problem solved.

Chippednailvarnish · 23/11/2013 18:51

You haven't made a mistake posting on AIBU, its just that you are being massively unreasonable to the point of being a grasping freeloader.

The truth sometimes hurts...

pictish · 23/11/2013 18:52

Use your savings for the sofa. x

AgentProvocateur · 23/11/2013 18:52

You're about to have a baby - time to grow up and stand on your own two feet

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