To feel guilty about this?

[Babysealion]

I unexpectedly fell pregnant in May and my grandparents have been so good to us. when me and DP moved in together in September they basically took me to Dunelm Mill and bought us everything we needed. We got a sofa second-hand for free from one of DP's mum's colleagues.
My grandparents have always done a lot for me growing up and I have a very special relationship with them.
They've bought so many baby things, clothes, helped me out with all my clothes, my nana takes me for my hair, feet and nails doing every 6 weeks. I go out for the day with them once a week and they always send me home with bags of stuff. Because of all their help, me and DP have been able to build up a considerable savings pot for a mortgage and a rainy day fund.
the springs in our sofa have gone so last night we went to Dfs and found one in the sale for £600. We put down a £200 deposit and applied for 3 years interest free finance to pay off the rest. Our finance has been declined as we are not on the electoral roll register.
I rang my nana to ask if she'd put it in her name and we'd set up the standing order for the amount of finance every month to go into her account (so essentially we pay it, her and my grandad just have their names on it).
My nana said no I will pay for it upfront and you give me bits of money towards it every so often.
I feel awful and guilty that she's doing this for us so close to Christmas. AIBU and should I insist on her doing the finance, or let her pay and then we give it her back?

I'm completely missing the point but why the Jeff do you accept so much help from them? Hair feet and nails every six weeks????! You're completely taking the piss imo.

I think people are being a little harsh here! OP sounds young.Her grandparents want to help her out and make sure she has enough savings and is financially secure for her own future and the baby's future. It sounds like they can afford it and she is appreciative of them and is generous with her time and affection(which is probably worth a lot to them!). When they are elderly, there is every chance they might need financial support from her.

I'm not sure what is so wrong with taking or borrowing this money? How many of you, given the chance, would turn down a bit of extra money for your children's future?

I appreciate so, so much what they do for me. In no way do I try to take advantage of them and I'm going to ring them now to make sure they know this and that I appreciate what they do for me, and to forget about the sofa.
I don't have a close relationship with my mum, my nana is like my mum for me. She looked after me when I was little, and in no way am I trying to 'freeload' or 'extract' money from anybody. I'm trying to do the right thing and build up a decent mortgage deposit so my baby has a secure home.

What jenny said. With knobs on.

There's a difference between borrowing money when you don't have it or sitting on a rainy day fund and considerable savings!!!

What else is a rainy day fund for??

I would, and have, ms. Left to their own devices my parents would pay everything for us but as an adult married to another adult, I cannot allow them to.

I'm just scared of letting a big chunk of money go at once, which is why we chose the interest free finance. Which is why I feel so guilty about my grandparents wanting to pay for it upfront and then we pay them back, because I know it's a lot of money. So clearly the solution is to find a cheaper sofa, or pay it all at once, which we will do.

In the grand scheme of things it's not. Large chunk! It's investment for when you have your own home!

yep, which is why I've said I will take it out of our savings or find a cheaper one.

If £400 is a large chunk you are quite a long way off house deposits, and perhaps it's worth asking your grandparents to stop spending on little things and getting your nails done and instead to save the cash to help you on your way.

I think just pay her outright for the sofa so she doesnt owe DFS anything.

Also, I doubt you were declined soley on the reason you were not on the register. Have you got an experian account to see if you have any defaults or missed payments?

YABU! I think PolkaDotParty is on the right track.

You have life on a silver platter. I hope you're aware of that.

I'm just scared of letting a big chunk of money go at once

But its okay for them to constantly pay for your hair, feet and nails, put money in your savings and kit out your house for you?

Righty oh then.

How old are you OP?

Why aren't you on the electoral register?

I know you're trying to fend off the hoards Ms23 but I can't see anything that says the GPs can afford it. They're buying shed loads, but that doesn't mean they're not going without themselves to give it.

It's not the borrowing of the money, it's the OP pretending she didn't know full well that they'd offer. I don't think she's a freeloader, but it's something that maybe needs a bit more careful handling or it could turn into a feeling that she's entitled to the help.

Stop bloody letting them pay for your hair and nails.

So selfish!

Put your name on the electoral role, and get your own finance.

And stop accepting money from your grandparents, it's a bit icky.

Seriously, what does your partner think about all this?

Ikea do much cheaper sofas - save your money - the £200 will buy you a sofa

as to the rest - yabu

I think if your grandparents are happy to loan you the money and you will pay it back in a timely manner then it is no problem. You shouldn't have really asked!!! If it works in your family set up then don't worry about what anyone else thinks! Good luck with the baby.

here

I dont think you are a grasping freeloader but if you can afford it say no to this one because you can affird.My oh grandparents would pay for things if we let them,because they can afford it,live comfortably and want to so we try not to mention things we are getting so they dont try and pay as we want them to know we dont spend time with them for any reason other than we want to and we live how much they love ds.If they gift you something then thats a different matter,they may want to help you out as that is what families do but if you can afford sonething yourself then doesnt it seem a bit too much to accept yet more?

I think the point of getting the nails done is a regular girly bonding experience that her nana enjoys as much as she does - I don't think asking for cash instead is going to help

Do you think your grandparents feel so responsible for you even though you are an adult with a child of your own, because of your mum? Misplaced guilt?

It's lovely of them, but they aren't actually helpingyou.

An adult has to stand on their own two feet. It isn't good for someone who is a parent themselves to be dependent on others to subsidise them.

And hair and nails? sooooooo not a priority. Honestly they aren't.

My parents were bailed out by both sets of their parents. over and over again. They never learned and now they are 60, they are still going cap in hand and expecting that others will bail them out. They have learned that behaviour and have become very entitled. Once they were like you.

You know who bails them out now all but one of the parents is dead? Muggins here and my sibling, Sister Muggins. They had people in their lives who handed them everything, like your grandparents do you.

It has ruined their lives. It ruined them.

On the plus side, I am not like that. nor is my sister.