To not let my DD go to a 'Pamper' party at the age of 6?

[Twang]

As the title reads...DD had been invited to pamper party for one of her peers which involves make up and hairdoes. She's 6. Call me old fashioned but 6 year olds in make up and coiffured?

Gross... Poor little girls.

Exterminate:

ToysRLuv but that means you want to take away the pleasure that some (the majority?) of women have great pleasure in ie wearing make up/perfume etc.

That can't be right can it?

Bowler: I think you misunderstood me. I don't want to take anything away from anyone. I just wish things were different, less shallow and more equal. That is all.

The problem I see is that we are sending the message to very young girls that they 'look pretty' when they are made up with glitter and hairdos. This starts the ball rolling because they want to 'look pretty' again. So another child asks for a similar party and/or make up at home. In time they begin to think that they only look pretty when they are made up hence the teenagers who will not dare to bare without an inch of slap on their faces.

My dd had a party like this when she was about that age. Her and her friends were very much into dressing up as princesses, so they all came along in their "princess dresses" and had their hair put up, and a bit of nail varnish and make up and they loved it. They then all sat on the floor eating takeaway pizza. It was a bit of fun.
My dd is now 13, and doesn't wear make-up, dislikes pink and frilly gubbins and is normally found in combat pants and a "boys" big baggy T-shirt because "I can still run about and have fun in these Mum". So it doesn't seem to have done her any harm.

Btw, I love perfume. But don't think they are (or should be) particularly gendered. They are just lovely smells in small bottles.

toysrluv.

No I want a man to smell like a man & for me to smell pretty & sweet (or sexy and musky for a night out).

Im very feminist. Tbh I dont really care, but I do respect those who find it important after all without them we wouldnt have equal pay, the right to vote…ect.

*not very feminist

I let DD go to a pamper party in a beauty salon. She wore (the one and only time in her life) a princess dress (with jeans underneath).

She came home with a bit of nail varnish, covered in sparkly stuff, and bobbles in her hair. They'd eaten party food and played games.

I would have let my 6yo DS go to such a party if he were invited, so why not DD?

The host mum did ask if there was anything I didn't want DD to have.

let her go surprising that little girls actually like all that make up and hair nonsense eh does your dd want to go it is her friends birthday a bit mean not to let her go on principle it washes off and wont corrupt her,

Yes, but why do we perceive e.g. "manly" smells as manly? Alexander the Great, Louis XIV, and as late as the dandies would consider roses or honey etc. completely appropriate smells for men.. Our preferences and views change all the time with our societies, while , of course, evolutionary psychology and biology guide them.

because its lovely

we are not going to agree toys. Id love to be as comfortable in my own skin as you but Im not unfortunately.

Have a nice day everyone
Im away to play dinoRawrs

ohh that soundest nasty.
I meant it truthfully

Please don't think I'm criticising you, Exterminate!

Have fun playing with dinos!

I dont

byess

I'm not as comfortable in my own skin as I'd like to be, but am getting better with age..

Peppa - if you'd love to be as comfortable in your own skin as Toys, and you'd like your daughter to be too, surely the first step would be not teaching her that the way to enjoy/value herself is by emphasising and changing her appearance..? That's exactly why parties like this at such a young age are in fact sending a very damaging message.

YANBU. I wouldn't let my dd go.

Im back to answer crunchy.

Im not comfortable with my appearance due to 10+ years of acne and severe scaring. It was a simple compliment. I would let my daughter do things that made HER happy. Makeup, no makeup, sport, no sport.

my dd is anti pink. She is 5. She dresses in her younger brothers clothes all the time. I dont wear make up unless on a night out and am not very into image. But I would have no issue in letting her go to a pamper party if she wanted to go. I think she would enjoy it but wouldnt worry too much about it having a long term negative effect on her. Some people are into their image and like to look a certain way. I dont see that as a negative thing just something that has no personal appeal.

*I am uncomfortable

Peppa I wasn't attacking you and I'm sorry you've had a tough time with your skin (me too as it happens!) - but if there was less emphasis on the importance of women's/girls' value as decorative objects, I doubt either of us would have been so bothered about having bad skin - see what I mean?

I do understand but the world isnt that way. And I like being decorated

Bowlers - I disagree with the premise that at five a child gets to choose what she wants to do. imo a parent or a five year old still has a right to dictate to their DC in what experiences they have. I avoided all the Ben 10/pokemon stuff with my 3 as I thought ot was a load of tripe and encouraged them to go around blasting people even more than they did anyway.

I would want actively discourage (ie not take them) them to be in a beauty pagent, or go to a religious institution regularly, or eat chips everyday.

when older absoluley agree with you (probably 8 onwards) but younger than that I make those decisions.