To not let my DD go to a 'Pamper' party at the age of 6?

[Twang]

As the title reads...DD had been invited to pamper party for one of her peers which involves make up and hairdoes. She's 6. Call me old fashioned but 6 year olds in make up and coiffured?

good for your DP, love seeing guts with the confidence to do so as adult acne is a bitch.

Look, sorry for being harsh, I think we should agree to disagree. Maybe the fact I have boys makes me crave the girly things in life, I'd live to be able to take a child to a pamper party & tjem to enjoy the same things I do.
But that wont happen (well unlikely- I live in hope )

If she was invited I'd let her go, but if she asked to throw one herself I'd steer my daughter gently away from the idea.

I have never expected all the children who were invited to any sort of party i held for my children to love it no matter what the party was. Some will love pink glitter some will prefer dancing others like games. My DD's have been to parties which weren't really their thing but they went because they had been invited by their friend.

I have a particular aversion to shooting of my kind and when my DD1 came home with an invite to a lazerquest party my heart sank. But i gave her the choice and she went with my blessing as i would never let my prejudices influence their decisions.

somethingonce

hurry up you only have an hour and 10 minutes until we go offline (maintenance)

Exterminate - not being harsh at all really :)

One of those things everyone has a view on, FWIW i have a 7 year old DS who does nothing but harp on about cars ...all. bloody. day! and i have an 8 month old DD who will probably be some sort of pink princess sparkly make up addict by the age of 2 so i will no doubt need to deal with my issues PMSL.

Oh but for the record DP puts pn a bit of tinted moisturiser for flare ups as it sens to help his skin, i don't mean he wears full slap attire :o

Nah, I need that hour to shave my underarms and legs.

I'm a fucking disgrace, seriously.

Parties like this are what you make of them. Dd1 is a bit of a Tom boy, she doesn't like vapid pink sparkly shit, will only entertain Merida as a princess and thinks the others are totally lame. She likes climbing trees and making bows and arrows and doesn't do dolls. For her 7th birthday party this year she had a hot tub party, which was in effect 8 girls splashing around in a small heated swimming pool in the back garden, and they had their nails done too

I would let my daughter go. It isn't as if the hosts will be slapping the girls in fake tan and fake eyelashes. The girls will be excited just to see their friends more than anything. I think sometimes adults forget what it is like to be a child. It is all just harmless fun I'm sure.

PEANUTS
I have cars, trains & dinoRawrrrs.
My life is an endless chorus of 'Be GENTLE!’

I think you'd be sending your DD a better message by telling her it's okay to chop and change your looks, but it's just a bit of fun and only if you want to. Make up isnt an inherently bad thing, how we view make up (as necessary etc;) IS, and banning your DD from a pamper party transforms the party from 'a bit of fun' to 'something serious' iyswim.

Oh some of you do have some funny ideas I bet you would be right on about it if your son's were invited. But it's only playing dress up copying mummy?

Dd was invited to one of these parties a few years ago and I swore never again when I picked her up. Her hair had been styled,teased and sprayed with glitter. Her face was covered in sparkly stuff and she was wearing perfume. Dd wasn't and still isn't a girl who likes putting stuff on her face. She hadn't wanted to do all this sort of stuff but was pressured by the others saying don't you want to look pretty like us. Peer pressure at 7 to put stuff on her face,to look aesthetically pleasing.

FWIW, my Mum treated me like a doll for most of my childhood, pink, floral, dresses, matching ribbons, little white socks, ballet lessons- I was the definition of gender stereotyping- but far from being emotionally scarred by it, I LOVED it, and have a brilliant relationship with my mum. So absolutely no harm done, I had a lovely childhood and she enjoyed doing 'girly' things with me- win win!

There is no harm in encouraging typically girl/boy behaviour, the issue comes when parents ignore children's preferences and force them to be something they are not.

I highly doubt the child in question said to her mother 'Mummy I want a football party' and her mother turned around and said 'No, football parties are for boys, you are having a pamper party and I wont hear another word about it.' I assume that even if the suggestion came from the mother, the little girl was probably in agreement and is excited about her party!

Seriously, people need to lighten up! It's a bit of sparkle and glitter, not crack cocaine!

YABU it's abit of fun!

It's fun, and if she will enjoy it, let her go. It's a one-off and can be wiped of later, what is the harm?

I really don't like the idea of these sort of parties, but I would have let my daughter go (if she had ever been invited to one like that!),because she would be missing out on an occasion with her friends, otherwise.

That would be worse than my ideals being offended to be honest.

She hardly wears any make-up anyway (she's 16) ,apart from a bit of black eyeliner and tinted moisturiser (occasionally,if she's going somewhere special.)

I don't like the idea, but then I don't like the fact that women have to remove visible body hair and are expected to wear make up, etc. I envy DH who can step into a shower and be ready for anything at a mere moment's notice. I need more than half an hour to remove hair before going swimming (do not have the courage not to) .

I would probably let DD go, but explain why I thought it was a silly, sexist theme. However, she would see that I don't wear make up, remove hair (unless wearing shorts and tank tops) or really "do" my hair (have it very short), and view all "pampering" as a chore, so I guess that would be a bigger influence..

DS likes my make up box, because I am happy to use the neglected contents for his amusement. He likes to be a tiger with black stripes painted on his face with liner and the gaps filled in with orange lipstick and then I chuck him straight in the bath with face cleansing wipes, so he doesn't smudge it everywhere

toysrluv

see we are polar opposites so wonder we clash.
I wear makeup everyday, full face. I wouldnt walk out the door without it, I hate hair, if it aint on the head or eye related.then its taken off (including arms), I always wear tan and while my hair is short its hair maintenance and always done.

Just different ways of seeing the world

*high maintenance

My god... Kill me now.. My daughter has her own make up.. that I may have brought her for her bday and she loves having mini make overs with mummy. Every time I get my hair and make up ready, she's always saying "mummy you look beautiful" we love spending girly time.

Exterminate: You wouldn't do it if you were a man or lived in a (fictional) society where make up and hair removal wasn't expected, encouraged, and/or the norm. If everyone didn't wear make up and the shops didn't sell it (apart from maybe concealer), you wouldn't wear it either and be completely happy. But I do accept that this ideal society I am talking about is as I said, atm, sadly fictional.

toysrluv.

I dont do it for anyone else but me. I like feeling nice & 'done up'. I dont know any males in my friendship circle who dont groom, whether thats using sunbeds, fake tan, hair removal, hair dye, make up ect.

I have worn make up since I was 12, my acne left me with zero confidence & uncomfortable.

I dont drink so pampering is my wind down

My point is, if all that didn't exist in a society, you wouldn't do it.

If you lived in certain parts of Africa, you would feel it was very important for beauty's sake that you extend your neck little by little, by inserting more metal rings on it. Or that you were fat to look healthier and wealthier. Or put enormous extender rings/plates on your ears/lower lip. See where I'm going?

yes I do see but....

Im still in live with my very large makeup box

I am new to this five page thread so I thought I would just read the ops posts to catch up.

There aren't any posts from the OP?!

Anyway OP, if you do bother to come back to read, YABU.

It shouldn't be your decision to prevent your daughter enjoying (legal) experiences with her friends. If she doesn't want to go then fine, she shouldn't go. If she is unable to go, then obviously fine, she shouldn't go. If you just don't want her to go, NOT fine.

If she goes and hates it, great from your point of view. If she goes and loves it you'll be the next embarrassed mother giving out similar invitations for her birthday.

I was the biggest tomboy out (my username gives a clue), so it wouldn't have been something I would have enjoyed. But it's not your right to dictate to your daughter what she may or may not enjoy doing.