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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

554 replies

SeaDevilscanPlay · 21/11/2013 16:08

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

OP posts:
fieldfare · 21/11/2013 17:28

I withdrew my dd too. The community nurse didn't know how the data would be used, who would have access to it and why they were really doing it. It didn't inspire me with confidence.

Fakebook · 21/11/2013 17:30

YABU. Dd was weighed last year in foundation stage. She'd forgotten about it by the end of the day. So had I. I was only reminded about it when we received a letter through the door telling us her weight and bmi (which was healthy).

By not allowing her to be weighed you will draw more attention to the whole thing. When all the children line up, she'll be taken aside and will wonder why she isn't getting weighed. At age 5, children won't be conditioned into thinking weight is important from one weigh-in.

Joysmum · 21/11/2013 18:15

You are given the option which means you can say no. Don't see what the issue is really?

mistermakersgloopyglue · 21/11/2013 18:21

Add message | Report | Message poster intitgrand Thu 21-Nov-13 16:55:32
In my DDS class (Y3/4) recently all the children had to go out in 2s and 3s to be weighed by the Y1/Y2 class as part of their maths work.I was not asked for my permission and nor was my DD. although she is only 8 She is competitive gymnast and a waif but is constantly worried about getting too heavy

But your daughters issues with her weight are nothing to do with the school Confused

I agree with those who have said that taking your child out of it/not allowing them to be weighed will create much more of a big deal about it for them than just letting them step on a scales for a few seconds. I honestly do not understand the issue here with them being weighed?

TEEARDIS · 21/11/2013 18:27

I really don't want this to be done if they are using BMI, which is a bullshit indicator of health.

StinkyElfCheese · 21/11/2013 18:28

I have twins in reception ... ones prob under one prob over ... they eat the same get the same amount of exercise etc..

1 has just had a massive growth spurt and shot up a couple of inches and skinnied out.... i am expecting DT1 to also shot up in the next few months :)

greenbananas · 21/11/2013 18:29

I've consented to have ds weighed - I can't see a problem with it.

He gets weighed at hospital and I also weigh him occasionally - he is at risk of being underweight because I struggle to get enough fat into his diet.

I don't need to have him weighed at school, but I don't want him to feel that he is the only one not taking part in a class activity.

There is a little girl in his reception class who is enormous, probably as wide as she is tall. She is a lovely, cheerful little lass.. I have never seen such a fat child, and have been working with children for years. I am concerned about that little girl's health, am guessing (only guessing! ) that her problems are to do with diet. If the weighing at all thing gives the school nurse team an excuse to talk to her family about healthy eating, then I am all for it!

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 21/11/2013 18:29

I think YAB a bit U - and I think the risk here is that you send the message that getting weighed is something to worry about, your weight is a delicate issue etc. DD2 got weighed, and she and friends all compared, and then forgot about it.

AuntieStella · 21/11/2013 18:29

The programme has been running since just after the Second Workd War, and has provided hugely valuable information for several generations of health planners.

I think it has informed the centile charts, and has definitely been used as the evidence base for such interventions as orange juice and milk in schools when underweight (indicating malnourishment) was found to be widespread.

StinkyElfCheese · 21/11/2013 18:30

I do not need a letter or phone call or pamphlets or an 'oppertuntiy' to go to the sure start centre for healthy eating....

dixiechick1975 · 21/11/2013 18:32

Curious if any at private schools have had children weighed.

Dd didn't in reception and also didn't have eye test.

manicinsomniac · 21/11/2013 18:34

YANBU, you know what is right for your child and your family.

My daughter isn't having her Y6 weight check. I know she's underweight, she thinks she's fat. I'm not having any more focus on weight for her, it's bad for her. It's a good thing for other children so I have no problem with it being offered. But parents should feel able to opt out if they want to.

Helspopje · 21/11/2013 18:34

BMI for children is quoted in age and gender adjusted centiles. If a child has a BMI (which includes height so 'big for age' isn't a relevant excuse) of the top or bottom 2% of the population then there probably is a reason.
That may be being a competitive gymnast, but there will be a reason.

All you need to do is look over the pond to see what is going to hit us in a couple of decades. I worked in Louisiana and Texas for a while - teens and 20somethings there have heart disease because they're 'big-boned'. It is horrifying.

manicinsomniac · 21/11/2013 18:35

Yes, Dixie, we're a private school and the children are weighed at 4,7,11 and 13. It's not a govt thing though, our school nurse does it.

ThreeTomatoes · 21/11/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minifingers · 21/11/2013 18:38

People have issues about their weight.

They think that whether their children are a normal weight, overweight or underweight, by never referring to the subject or allowing anyone else to measure their child's weight that this will help their child have a healthy body image EVEN if their child IS actually overweight (not that uncommon), or (rarely) unhealthily underweight.

Dream on I say.

The quickest route to a healthy body image for most of us is to have a healthy body.

WorraLiberty · 21/11/2013 18:39

My problem is that I dont want my DD thinking that being weighed is normal, or that thinking about how much you weigh is important.

Being weight is normal when there is a specific reason...ie the nation al child measurement programme.

What you weigh is important if it's likely to have a poor affect on your health.

YOU are making this an issue for your child and I think you need to ask yourself why.

Gaining/losing weight is something that happens naturally to every human on the planet.

It's a natural part of life and not something that should be taboo or hidden away like a dirty little secret.

Projecting your own issues/strong feelings on your child and her school, is much more likely to make her feel as though she has something to be ashamed of or to hide.

If YOU relax about it, your child stands more chance of being relaxed and confident throughout her life imo.

TEEARDIS · 21/11/2013 18:41

BMI for all people is bullshit. I don't care how they adjust it.

CoffeeQueen187 · 21/11/2013 18:42

They don't just weigh them, they check their eyesight and hearing too.

I think it's all ridiculous to be honest.

DS1 had it all done when he was in reception. I was told he was totally deaf in his left ear and his vision was poor. He was referred to the hospital for more checks, which he passed with flying colours. No problem what so ever.

I'm thinking that they failed to read his notes at school and missed the fact he has special needs and simply lost interest through the test and didn't want to co operate any more.

FreeWee · 21/11/2013 18:43

YABU. Even if you see no point in it as you know or are happy with your child's weight, commissioners and statisticians use the figures to understand how healthy kids are across the board and so getting your 'normal' child weighed helps with the norm. Then they know whether yo provide services for those who fall outside the norm. It's called the National Child Measurement Programme and the figures are vital to making recommendations for service commissioning in your local area.

Sirzy · 21/11/2013 18:47

I agree mini

It is all too easy for parent to project their weight worries onto children, but not talking about such things could be equally as damaging in the long term as making a big issue out of it.

Nothing wrong with children having an understanding of health and the fact that weight is an indicator of health, yes people come in all shapes and sizes but being obese isn't healthy a way to live whatever your age and hiding from that doesnt change it.

stickysausages · 21/11/2013 18:48

I also him to be weighed, as said it's for national stats & it was reassuring to know he's perfectly in proportion.

dixiechick1975 · 21/11/2013 18:49

Thanks manicinsomniac. But not for the national child measurement programme?

Just curious - hardly a national child measurement programme if only state school children included.

Dd has a disability and is consequently technically underweight (missing limb) again wonder how disabilities are factored in or if just a crude height/weight = bmi.

ToucanBlack · 21/11/2013 18:50

What a strange thread. It's not 'normal' to be weighed? WTF Confused Yes it is.

Did you never have your children weighed as babies or 1/2 year checks? What's the difference?

The children really don't give a monkey's and it's not like anyone shares the results with them.

And no lots of parents don't know whether their child is over (or under) weight and it can be a wake up call for some.

I think some people just enjoy the drama of being a rebel and ticking the 'no' box.

VworpVworp · 21/11/2013 18:52

i have just withdrawn my DS from it-
He has appalling eyesight- yes he gets seen by the hospital every 2 to 3 months for check-up
He is underwegight, because he eatsfuck all very little, but they don't class them as underweight unless weight is on 2nd centile Hmm
His hearing is dodgy- he's just had grommets to correct, and again is checked regularly by the hospital

These tests just are ridiculous to apply to all children- we'd be wasting nhs time if I let them carry them out! They should spend the resources elsewhere, where they're actually needed!
(Checks taking place at a fee-paying school btw!)