To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

[SeaDevilscanPlay]

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

[bundaberg]

yanbu, i didn't give permission for any of my children to have any of the health checks in school.

they eat a good diet and I can see they are not overweight.

I am capable of taking them to the optician, and do so.

I am capable of getting their hearing checked, and if school flagged up a possible issue I would get them referred for a proper test.

I don't have a problem with them doing the health checks as I am sure there are parents who appreciate it and that there are many issues that are picked up because of these checks.
I just didn't feel it was necessary for my own children.

[dazzlingbrook]

I would refuse point blank. I remember this at school when a selection of children were taken to be weighed every other year. Then it was in your knickers and was even more mortifying having to strip to be weighed. I will never forget at age 7 being taken into the staff room to be weighed. That year was the year I had put on a few pounds but before that there was no issue weight wise. The person weighing me commented that 'You are fat and you don't want to stay fat because fat people are ugly'. He went on to tell me that 'You will never get a boyfriend looking like that because no one will want you if you are fat'. Luckily at the time my mum was in attendance and I have never seen her rip shreds out of someone in authority before. I was asked to go back every so often and politely refused until year 11 when I remember getting put on report because of the way I spoke to the school nurse when she tried to coax me into going to the office. I had found my voice by then and there was no way on this earth was I being put through that again.
It had a huge impact on my self esteem and body image for a long time and granted no nurse would say these things these days but I do recall how horrific it was. My mum still talks about it occasionally and the issues it caused. So YANBU, it can cause huge issues with children.

[SuperStrength]

I think you are making a fuss about nothing, unless there is a very good/specific reason that applies to your DD.

You are making her different to her friends by taking this approach & she wont feel good about this. School is at ths age is all about learning how to make friends & fit in,you are not helping. You are npt looking at thos from her perspective.

From a health policy perspective, this is 'broadly' a +ve policy. Data drives policy decision making. Evidence based policy ..how can that be wrong?

[Sirzy]

But by testing all children they can ensure all get the help they nee - how is that wasting resources? They can and do pick up problems. If it wasn't for the pre-school sight test done here DS wouldn't have been referred to ophthalmology.

I can't see screening of children for things which are quite common problems but easily missed by parents as a bad thing personally. Certainly not as a waste of resources.

[lifeisajumprope]

Depends on how it would be carried out. Ours was in public with the PE teacher shouting out the results...you can guess what it was like for us "fat" kids....

[complexnumber]

My problem is that I dont want my DD thinking that being weighed is normal, or that thinking about how much you weigh is important. (from OP)

Don't you think that you may be drawing attention to your DD's weight by refusing to allow her to be weighed with her peers?

[Sidge]

Those that think BMI is bullshit might like to have that conversation with paediatric consultants, who use BMI as one of many tools.

Of course it's not a be-all and end-all. You need to have a bit of common sense and eyeball the child/adult involved. It is one of many factors in determining health - it is not a sole defining factor in referring a child or instigating interventions.

When assessing the results they are taken in context and may indicate a need for further investigation; numbers on a piece of paper are not in themselves a criteria for action, they just may be a starting point for further measurements, a chat with parents etc.

[lifeisajumprope]

Body composition is way more accurate than BMI - it is also far more expensive to ascertain...

[TEEARDIS]

Many GPs use BMI, adult and kids.

It's still bullshit.

A top athlete will have a high BMI since it only looks at height and weight ratio. There is more to heath than that.

[Sidge]

Well yeah, of course Teeardis - that's what I just said. It's one of many tools but we see far more people with high BMIs due to obesity and inactivity than those with high BMIs due to being professional athletes...

It's a starting point.

[greenbananas]

Bmi may be rubbish in some cases (e.g. my dad is classed as obese because he has so much muscle - he is thin and wiry and has spent most of his life working on building sites).
However, if it's a useful tool in collecting statistics which drive policies which help children who need intervention.

As always, on Mumsnet, there are loads of clued-up middle-class mummies who don't need the help and think this kind of thing is intrusive. But the children I live near and work with DO need some help. These statistics are important.

[TEEARDIS]

It's a bad starting point when it automatically sends "your child is obese because their BMI is X" letters.

It should not be used.

Nothing will change my mind on this.

[Mittensonkittens]

Do they take their height into consideration or just stick them on a weight graph for their age?

Only worried because my four year old is due to be weighed but he is over the 100th centile for height (125cm and he's not 5 until end of June). He is about 70th centile for weight but I'm sure I read that they plot them on a graph for both height and weight for their age and then decide if they are overweight from that? Ds is in age 7 clothes. He will be overweight for a typical 4 year old but not if his height is taken into consideration!

[FreeWee]

People who disagree with BMI full stop are missing the point of health professionals having a toolkit of diagnostic tools. Height for example, shows whether compared to other people you are tall or short. Weight tells you whether you weigh more or less compared to other people. BMI works out whether within yourself you are an appropriate height for your weight. It is a blunt tool when used in isolation just as a chisel without a hammer can do a bit of a job but with a hammer can do a better one. People who point out the exceptions to the rule such as sportsmen and pregnant women are missing the point of having a toolkit. Other tools are more appropriate to do those specialist jobs. But for the rest of us 'normals' BMI is a good rough starting point for a healthy lifestyle chat.

[greenbananas]

Yes, they do take height into consideration.

[Sirzy]

Realistically if a child is at either extreme of BMI then there is going to be a pretty high chance that they are over/underweight. A child of 4 is highly unlikely to have so much muscle it becomes an issue, and if they have a BMI of 98% then its unlikely they are a healthy weight for their height really.

Of course its not the most accurate of tools, but it is a good starting point.

[shoofly]

Teeardis, Ds1 had a school nurse health check in P1, height, weight, eyes and hearing. They asked permission, but a parent needed to attend with the child. They tracked on centile charts (as in red book) - and it was sent back to paed sevices. It was same chart health visitor had used. (Had her signature on it) & I saw the same chart again when he saw paediatric ASD service. (Just to give another N Ireland experience )

[TEEARDIS]

Thanks Shoo.

He's being assessed for ASD so I am sure all that will be tracked as well.

[starlight1234]

My DS (age 6) knows who the "fat Kid" is in his year..I got him to try a puffer coat on for winter he didn't want incase they thought he was fat and called him names like * ...We did have a chat about it but kids are cruel and they generally already know..

My son does weigh himself every once in a while and we talk about balanced diet.... we talk about how he is growing boy so does need some fats but also needs fruit, meat etc etc.

I agreed to my son been weighed but he never told me he had been so either they didn't or it had no impact upon him.

[merrymouse]

? I thought it was just part of 0-5 healthcare and the rest of the red book records - don't see the big deal.

Clearly weight control is a big problem for society. I know it's an emotional issue but as long as they aren't making a big deal out of it I don't see why it has to be any more of a problem than the hearing test.

Also, as far as I remember, infant school is full of weighing and measuring each other as part of maths anyway...

[Anniemousse]

I did not consent for my son, with good reasons, unrelated to his weight.

School nurses phoned on the day and spoke to DH on the phone who said Yes so he was weighed.

He came home wearing a cheap clip art sticker which said 33% off Yay!

All the kids had this sticker.

I thought the message on the sticker, given out by the school nurses was bloody ridiculous and contrary to all the "neutral, no comment, no judgement" promises made. It carried a message that weight loss was positive, required, encouraged. Infact my son has inherited the family skinny gene so inappropriate for him. At 5 that message was a bit beyond him anyway. I did worry what the year 6's made of it though.

[Rooners]

I didn't give consent either. They sounded flabberghasted when I called. They didn't really know what to do about it.

It was a bit weird.

I don't know why I said no. I think it was just my instinct. Ds worries about his weight already.

I have a long history of anorexia.

I think it would just reinforce his concern I suppose. He said everyone else did it though. I hope I haven't done the wrong thing - he wasn't bothered about not doing it.

[Rooners]

Nit nurses though - please bring those back.

There are persistently infested children who cost the rest of us a fortune.

[mistermakersgloopyglue]

Ffs, not the 'athletes have a high bmi so it's bullshit for everyone' argument again.

It is highly unlikely that your child falls into the 'professional athlete' category anyway and the fact is, if you or your child or whoever is very over and underweight according to a bmi chart then it is likely that they are erm....over or underweight. It's not rocket science.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

YAbU IMHO. Sorry.
Eithe you are certain she is a good weight or not. In the first instance, what does it matter? It's useful to know one's weight and for DCs to know that we all have different weights and there is a wide range of normal.
On the second instance, well, it's worth being sure isn't it?

I think your DC's weight is a useful piece of information.

It's being run by the primary health care service. School is just the venue.
Plenty of ppl are ignorant or in denial about their DC's weight problems.
Certainly a friend of mine is in complete denial about her dd being overweight. It's a mystery to me how she can not be aware of the issue and the health implications of he dd's weight in the future. Quite worrying.