To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

[SeaDevilscanPlay]

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

[Snowbility]

My kids will ask for something sweet at the end of a meal - when I say no they will eat more dinner because they were saving space and they are not fully satisfied. I think it must be hard denying you child food all the time. It's something I have never had to worry about, although I frequently say no to sugar, I never have to say no to hunger pangs. That's a tough job.

[SatinSandals]

I would never label food as 'good' or 'bad,' or ban things, because it immediately makes them desirable. Much better to eat a balanced diet yourself and serve one and restrict snacks and then the occasional treat doesn't matter. I also think it counter productive to make a huge fuss about a perfectly normal measurement.

[Kendodd]

I'm amazed at all the (supposedly) healthy diets and plenty of exercise everyone's children are having. This is in no way reflected in the lunch boxes (and xboxes!) I see. Am I the only one who feeds their children a completely mixed bag? Although I have to say their lunch boxes are way better than some I see.

[Goldmandra]

This is in no way reflected in the lunch boxes

According to my DD, everyone in her school has crisps every day, they are all allowed choc spread sandwiches, they don't have to have fruit and veg and they all have yoghurt and a chocolate bar too. Apparently I'm really mean and I should just let her be like all the others.

Funnily enough she doesn't see many other lunch boxes because she doesn't eat in the dining hall and she's never interested in being like her peers at any other time so I'm taking it all with a pinch of salt. She doesn't get that I don't give two hoots what the other children get anyway.

[noblegiraffe]

I thought your DD was obsessed with being healthy?

[Goldmandra]

I thought your DD was obsessed with being healthy? confused

Yes, in exactly the ways specified in the book that she obsesses about. However she is 10 YO and has Asperger's so doesn't tend to generalise rules. The foods she is asking for aren't specifically named in the book. She takes instructions very literally.

The book says drink water instead of fruit juice so she will now not drink fruit juice. However it doesn't mention Coke (only soda pop which she doesn't understand) so in her head Coke is OK. It calls crisps chips so she doesn't recognise them either.

The book says use a nailbrush to scrub your toenails in the shower so that's what she has to do, every single time. She wants to wear sanitary towels even though she hasn't started her periods because she thinks that's what the book is telling her to do.

She isn't reasonable or logical about it which is why I'm trying to avoid creating a problem about weight.

Sorry to spoil your troll hunting!

[passedgo]

I have two dds, one skinny choose to refuser the other s chubby overeater. DP is skinny I am fat. At supper the big portions go to the skinnies, I get the smallest.

But snacking is a killer, dp usually buys sweet cereals and biscuits.

[noblegiraffe]

It wasn't troll hunting, Gold, but a genuine question which seems perfectly reasonable given what you have posted on this thread. Hardly exciting or sensational enough to suspect a troll!

[Snowbility]

So you are told your child is fat - seems relatively easy to deal with the reception child's diet and activity levels - I mean you are pretty much in control of everything they do but in year 6 that control starts to wane or at least it should.

You may decide not to have junk in the house but a hungry child will eat anything and they need to develop self control - how do you do that - do the nurses know - I expect not! And as they become teens I have been informed that they develop enormous appetites to facilitate their growth spurt so how do you decide their food intake is enough without leaving them genuinely hungry and how do you do all this in the midst of teenage angst without causing enormous relationship problems with both the parent/child and long term food issues.
You will frequently hear from people on the diet boards whose parents controlled their weight as children and long term result was pretty awful - broken relationship with controlling parent and very unhealthy approach to eating. I think this issue is so complicated and being a bit chubby at 11 might be better than the problems you cause inadvertently by trying to fix things.

My friend has tried to control her dd's relationship with food - it worked at primary in the sense that her weight stayed under control - secondary is a whole different ball game - she can't even bring up food or exercise with her dd anymore - it causes massive arguments, the damage has been d

[Rowgtfc72]

I took the five stone five year old to the doctors twice as I was aware it sounded wrong even though I thought she looked fine. I was assured both times that she was well within the parameters of normal and not at all overweight. You have to remember she is the height of the average eight year old and muscular.I took her because I had had comments that she couldn't possibly weigh that much. Her ribs are peachy by the way!

[intitgrand]

The problem is that parents judge their child's fatness/thinness using adult bodies as a frame of reference.But a child should be much thinner than an adult.Both the girls in the articel above are clearly overweight for children their age.

[Bunbaker]

"The problem is that parents judge their child's fatness/thinness using adult bodies as a frame of reference."

So true. Last year I asked the doctor about DD's weight as she has always been a skinny Minnie, and I was concerned at how underweight she was. The doctor told me that DD was exactly right and that most girls her age were overweight.

DD is now 13, weighs 7 stone, is about 5'2" and wears an adult size 6. She also looks fantastic in skinny jeans.

[ProfPlumSpeaking]

Let's not forget that weighing will also pick out the children that are genuinely too thin (and it is true that children are healthy at lower weights than would be an adult of the same height). Being severely underweight often raises a more urgent health concern than being overweight which tends to be a longer term issue.

[HowlingTrap]

Hmm, I'v read a few threads on here where parents have had letters are 'your daughter is obese' when apparently it's wrong.

On that basis I would probably decline, my arent that old yet I don't know.

Plus again, Schools are not Medical facilities, I think its a dodgy door to start creaking open when they start trying to weigh in on a medical level.

[HowlingTrap]

sorry double post, I think it depends on the age of the child.

I would not make an older more self aware child endure a weigh in, it's just too cruel. But a young child will not be as harmed by it, or as harmed.

I'm assuming the data is private?

[Sirzy]

Is the letter wrong though Howling or is the parent in denial? I am betting that 9 times out of 10 its the latter

[HowlingTrap]

I dunno, I wouldn't agree most parents are very self critical, I am very overweight myself, yet when sometimes I notice my eldest has podged, I put the scarf round the fridge, no sweets etc.

I'm one of many parents who are perhaps betting spotting ther own kids then themselves?. You get threads on here who ask for help with their overweight kids too.

[Sirzy]

Parents may be SELF crtitical but a lot dont like anything that they see as a critisicm of their child.

You only have to look around a group of children at the swimming pool to see just how many children are overweight.

[youretoastmildred]

I can't bear these threads where it seems there is an endless supply of posters who can't wait for the chance to start shouting about how children are fat now and they are the only ones who can see it.

I am going to have to leave mn, because I am bored out of my mind with all of the following:

1 - I am polite and kind. Some people are so rude! Just plain nasty! Not me. I am nice to everyone, especially the waitress.

2 - The OP should pull herself together. Everyone else does x, y, z and I do them all 25 times a day. She needs to get a grip. get over yourself, OP.

3 - Children are fat but nobody but noble me has noticed. I will always notice, I am like the princess and the pea except with fat children, and a little piece of my sensitive heart breaks when I see a fat child, but those other oafs are oblivious. Poor, poor me, living in an ugly world of nasty lardy children.

4 I wash my sheets more often than any of you. Those who wash them once a day may think they are doing alright. Those who wash them twice a day probably think they are winning. I, however, have an alarm set to remind me EVERY HOUR to change my Egyptian Cotton sheets, although the 14 changes throughout the day are not because anyone has slept in the bed but because they have become tainted by simply having been on the bed. The alarm continues to remind me to change the sheets through the night as I simply cannot be expected to sleep till 7am on the stale sheets that were on at midnight, or even 11 pm in many cases! If you do leave the sheets on for more than an hour, you are disCusting and I look down my nose at you. None of this is difficult.

5 However, despite the apparent importance I seem to attach to cleanliness in contexts like this, animals are so precious and important that they should be allowed to roam, bite, shit and shed at will. Do not dare suggest that an animal should be limited in its glorious self expression, no matter what the inconvenience or risk to anyone else.

6 did I mention that children are all FAT now? Discusting FAT FAT FAT children. All Fat except MINE who have to wear trousers for 7 foot basketball players which then have to be taken in to fit their 12" waists. BEcause they are so tall, and willowy, you see. Not like other children. Who are FAT

[MotherIsTheBestBet]

Ha, don't leave youretoast that's the first thing that's made me laugh on this whole wretched thread. Especially "none of this is difficult"

Good post snowmobility. It really isn't as straightforward as "just say no". Not least because from quite an early age children are often being fed by a whole range of people, not just their ever culpable mothers: childminders, nurseries, school dinner ladies, grandparents etc etc so that it can be quite hard to gauge just how many calories they are getting until the problem arises, and then, as you suggest, you may find yourself on a tightrope with the the threat of obesity on one side and of eating disorders on the other.

Particularly hard when you have to cater for a skinny one and a chubby one. Whoever it was that said you just give smaller portions to the chubby one, surely they notice?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Applause for *you'retoastmildred.
Well you can't leave now
I like reading your posts and that lat one was especially astute and amusing.

[SatinSandals]

YouretoastMildred was very astute and amusing, it was all the things that make MN such fun!

[FiscalCliffRocksThisTown]

Another vote for Mildred.

I so agree. Some love putting the boot in.

MN is ok if you choose your topics, and posters!