To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

[SeaDevilscanPlay]

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

[Catsnotrats]

I'm a y6 teacher and this is what happens with in-school weighing:

• A letter goes home a few months before (written by the local health team, it's just distributed by us)
• The school office forget to tell me when they are coming in, then let me know with about an hour's notice, therefore buggering up my lesson plan
• The kids line up in the school hall. The scales are away from the line and facing away from the child when being weighed so only the nurse can see them. I spend my time patrolling the line to check they are not arsing around and don't go anywhere near the scales.
• Each child spends approx 20 secs being weighed and measured
• The nurse discreetly writes the weights on her list, again I don't see this
• We go back to class and resume normal life. I'm none the wiser as to my class's weights
• Parents get posted the results by the health authority to their home address. Again I don't see these.

I've yet to have a child being refused permission. If I did the nurse would have to inform me who they were when we got to the hall as I don't have the list. I'd then have to remove the child from the line therefore showing the rest of the class that there is something different about them (and 11 year olds will make their own conclusions as to why this is).

Of course you have the right to remove your child, but I really can't see the possible benefit to the child of excluding them from something all their classmates are doing. If you don't agree with the results, just throw the letter in the bin. Nobody will come to any harm other than maybe your child if you are sticking your head in the sand about their potential health issues.

[Hassled]

The parents of children with obvious weight issues, whether obese or very underweight, will be contacted by the school nursing team after a weight check, which I think is a good thing. And it might be there's no real problem or a problem the parents are already dealing with, or it might be that the parents need a bit of help - surely better to pick it up than for the child to suffer the attending health issues?

The majority of the data, though, is for regional tracking purposes - is this an area with a higher than average level of childhood obesity? That's how funding is targeted. They need to know what's going on in a cohort of children to tackle the issues, or to work out there are no issues.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

And yes, agree with Freewee about BMI.

[lljkk]

I think OP is making a fuss out of nothing.
I never weigh myself.
I don't care if DC are weighed.
Because it doesn't matter.
It's a passing note of interest, like how tall they are or what eye colour they have.
By withdrawing them you make it important.

[CoffeeTea103]

You sound in denial about something in refusing for her to be weighed. It's ridiculous that you think being weighed might cause issues with her image. It's how you react and making a big deal of it that brings about any negativity. Yabvu.

[Iwaswatchingthat]

Quite a few mums in dd's class got 'the letter' after the reception weight/height check explaining their children were overweight and offering support.

Every single one of them complained and disputed that their child was overweight, that it was just puppy fat etc.

Fast forward a few years until they are now in y4. Sadly each and every one of those highlighted kids is now clearly overweight.

I do agree that parents can have a blindness to their child's real size.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

mrmakersgloopyglie
Thanks. Well put.

[Bunbaker]

"DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing."

I agree. If your child is neither obese nor very underweight why are you so concerned? As others have already pointed out we have a massive obesity problem in the UK, and part of it is due to the number of parents refusing to face up to the fact that their child is too fat.

[Goldmandra]

I've refused the Y6 check for DD2.

She's a perfectly healthy weight although a little small for her age. She's by far the fittest child in her year according to the SENCo after a whole year walk in the hills.

She's also ridiculously obsessive about healthy eating and keeping fit since being given this book. We don't have bathroom scales about which my GP commented "very sensible" and I have to work hard to reduce her worry about health/fitness on a daily basis.

The last thing I want is to give her another reason to wonder or worry about being healthy so I've told her it's not happening. Chances are she won't be with her class when it happens anyway.

When I called to say I would prefer her not to be weighed I was all ready to justify my stance but wasn't asked a thing. I trust that they won't be phoning me on the day as they will be told I consider that to be very inappropriate.

[WorraLiberty]

I've yet to have a child being refused permission. If I did the nurse would have to inform me who they were when we got to the hall as I don't have the list. I'd then have to remove the child from the line therefore showing the rest of the class that there is something different about them (and 11 year olds will make their own conclusions as to why this is).

Exactly catsnotrats. That's what happens in my DS's school.

The children get removed from the line, or their class mates notice they're missing.

Surely the parents can see that this can cause more of an issue for their child, than simply popping on a private scales for 20 seconds, along with the rest of the kids.

[Anniemousse]

I've yet to have a child being refused permission. If I did the nurse would have to inform me who they were when we got to the hall as I don't have the list. I'd then have to remove the child from the line therefore showing the rest of the class that there is something different about them (and 11 year olds will make their own conclusions as to why this is).

Surely then, between you and the nurses, you need to come up with a better way of organising it. So as not to cause humiliation to any child.

[Bunbaker]

"Surely then, between you and the nurses, you need to come up with a better way of organising it. So as not to cause humiliation to any child."

I agree. It isn't the child who has refused to be weighed.

[Goldmandra]

What Anniemousse said.

I fully expect my DD2's school to cause as little fuss about her non-participation as possible. Sending the child to run an errand to the office would be an obvious and very easy strategy to use.

[justmyview]

I agree that many parents are in denial about their children's weight, dismissing it as 'puppy fat'. If it's the norm that the children are weighed, then it helps NHS staff to weigh all children and therefore identify children who may have issues with their weight. If it becomes the norm that children don't get weighed unless their parents think there's a problem, then overall, monitoring goes down, which is not a good thing

[ModreB]

No, no no. Ds1 was weighed, and told he was obese. He was a muscular rugby player, 6' tall at 14yo, playing at county level, not an inch of fat on him.

DS2 was weighed, and told he was too thin. He is now a tall 6'2", muscular butcher.

DS3 was weighed and told he was obese. He is 14yo, and 6ft tall, and weighs 12 stone. Its ridiculous. They eat a healthy diet, exercise and are fit and well. Tell them to get lost.

[Sirzy]

However it is done though a child will notice that the rest of the class is being taken somewhere and they aren't.

It would have to be a very long errand to last the time it took for the children to all be measured, and even then children talk afterwards so I doubt a child wouldn't realise anyway

[Floggingmolly]

I don't want my dd thinking being weighed is normal what?
It's not exactly abnormal? is it? And you don't have to actually share the results with your child, you know, there's nothing for them to be alarmed about.

[Catsnotrats]

Annie the nurse doesn't work at the school, the only time I see her is the annual weighing. She is extremely busy and only has time to turn up, do the weighing and then get to her next job. Only she holds the list of who has been refused permission so I'll only know who it is when she turns up. Of course I'd remove the child as discreetly as possible, but it is a very speedy process and quite frankly none of us have time to invent elaborate procedures for hiding a child away from the rest of the class for the weighing. The way to spare your child humiliation is to simply let them join in with the rest of classmates and not to make any sort of a deal of it whatsoever.

[Goldmandra]

However it is done though a child will notice that the rest of the class is being taken somewhere and they aren't.

I'm not expecting them to keep it a secret from my DD! Just be reasonably careful about not drawing attention to the rest of the class that she (and any other child in the same position) isn't being weighed.

My DD is unlikely to be discussing it with her class afterwards anyway. She doesn't socialise with them.

[BananaNotPeelingWell]

Yaddnbu. I withdrew my younger children after dd1 was weighed and we received a generic letter saying she was underweight. She became very concerned about this and self critical. She's slim but has an excellent appetite and is healthy and well nourished. I was very annoyed that she and we had been un-necessarily worried. Very damaging

[Sirzy]

But Gold surely you can see that that is easier said than done. Children notice these things no matter what is done.

Bannana - surely she only became concerned because you told her what the letter said? The information isn't sent to children, it is sent to parents for a reason.

[DumSpiroSpero]

This was my fear Modre

DD takes after my DH's side of the family - he's a well built 6'4 and his female cousins are all approaching 6' and of Amazonian proportions - not fat, but well built, athletic kind of figures.

DD has always been a good 3 inches taller than most kids her age and at 9yo is in adult size 5 shoes.

I am absolutely certain that based on a school weigh-in she would have been labelled obese - for no good reason whatsoever and wasn't prepared to have to engage with the whole thing tbh.

I'm horrified that do it in Year 6 and will absolutely not be giving my consent for that either.

Should add before anyone accuses me of being in denial, DD has recently been discharged from a series of investigative procedures at the local hospital with a clean bill of health and a letter stating that her height/weight are in proportion and within normal range for her age.

[BananaNotPeelingWell]

She saw the letter. It was sent home via her and she happened to see it.