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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect not to be blocked from my ex's facebook?

137 replies

Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 18:45

Ok back ground. ExDP, we get on great (?!) we have two children. I was friends with him on fb before he blocked me a few months back a few weeks before we broke up. Im friends with his mum, brothers, sil on fb because they asked 'friended' (cringe) me and they are nice and why would I say no? I was in a relationship with their son/brother/bil at the time.

Exdp moved out, but hasnt yet found a place, he see's the kids at mine a couple of times a week.

He went away for work last week for a few weeks.

His family are linking him in comments involving me, to me, on my statuses, except it doesnt work so Im left explaining that he has deleted and blocked me (fucking big cringe). All he while he has no idea the conversation is happening and he is oblivious.

I cant be arsed to go into detail but I was made to look like an insensitive arse today for commenting (innocently!) on a friends status, but ex had previously posted on. Hard to explain but I ended up looking like an insensitive bastard, all because I couldnt SEE exDP's post.

Aibu to think this 45 year old man shoud fucking unBLOCK me?!

Its pathetic, no? Ive asked tonight. I said why, all the reasons above.

Nothing in return. Still blocked.

Not fb friends, fine. But to be blocked?

OP posts:
Lilacroses · 17/11/2013 20:56

I can see some reasons why an ex might want to block someone but your relationship with him seems very cordial. In those circumstances it does seem really odd....it would really annoy me that he wouldn't just say why!! I would probably keep thinking about it and possibly nagging him! Sorry, probably unhelpful!

Original poster
Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 21:05

Alice theres no pain or betrayal believe me. Its far more simplistic than that.

OP posts:
AliceinWonderhell · 17/11/2013 21:12

So what is the simplistic reason?

You've said he won't tell you why hes blocked you and yet you've clearly got your own opinion as to why it might be and are seeking validation that it is unreasonable.

My ex and I are 'friendly' and he believes is genuine. However, if it wasn't for DD, I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. Perhaps he just doesn't like you, and is remaining cordial and friendly purely for the DCs? Wink

allnewtaketwo · 17/11/2013 21:13

So OP according to you, there is no reason why he would want to block you. You are 'good friends' and things are very simple.

YET the fact is that he HAS blocked you. What you need to is very simple. Either proceed as normal, tell his family to avoid these embarrassing situations, or unfriendly his family (who, if they are ACTUAL friends, will understand) to prevent the 'embarrassing' situation.

Why does it have to be any more complicated than that? He has made a choice, now you make yours

Original poster
Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 21:30

We had an argument about 3 months ago, he got cross and deleted and blocked me. I didnt even noticed for about 2 weeks. I asked him about it and said it was ridiculous! He said he knew, but he was cross at the time. But kept me blocked. Since then Ive mentioned that its embarrassing, he laughs it off but Ive told him its not funny.

Although tonight has been the first time Ive given him the reason as to why its embarrassed me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 21:32

The whole thing is ridiculous.

Hes actually a very nice man. But he can be incredibly childish sometimes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 21:33

Or perhaps as Alice said, he just doesnt like me.

Its something Ive considered 100 times. Genuinely.

OP posts:
allnewtaketwo · 17/11/2013 21:33

It's clear therefore that things are not as amicable, simple or clear cut as you've indicated. Stop being so bothered by this, you're letting him know how much control he has by being so angry about it

Original poster
Blockedededed · 17/11/2013 21:44

Things are rarely simple, less ex's!

Yes, he has control though.

OP posts:
starlight1234 · 17/11/2013 22:06

YABU..He is now single if he doesn't want you to see what he writes that is his choice...

The problem with FB is if you don't block someone then your status's aren't private once someone else comments on them

OrlandoWoolf · 17/11/2013 22:10

Facebook is weird. I keep getting status updates when a friend posts on someone else's status who is not a friend.

I have no interest in seeing what a friend writes on someone else's wall who I don't know.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/11/2013 22:11

I can see your point and YANBU but then I don't think that he is either.

zatyaballerina · 17/11/2013 22:36

I don't see why this is an issue? The embarrassment is being caused by his family who are constantly linking the two of you together on fb so they are the ones who need to be dealt with, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Ms23 · 17/11/2013 22:58

My ex blocked me. I was upset at first because we had parted on good terms but now realise it was for the best. He didn't want to see pics of me cropping up in mutual friends photos appearing to have a great time while he was getting over the break up of our relationship and I felt the same. If a photo of him and an unfamiliar female popped up I might feel a bit put out. This might explain his reasoning a bit- he is trying to move on!

IAlwaysThought · 17/11/2013 23:10

Sorry but I think YABU even though I understand why it is irritating for you. Just tell your ex in laws/friends the situation.

This is the type of situation that makes me glad I don't have a Facebook account.

LittlePeaPod · 17/11/2013 23:34

Op I think YABU and surprised at how angry, bitter and irritated your posts come across about this. You may not mean to come across this way! His your ex and he has every right to delete and block you if he so chooses. Your choice to stay in touch with his family. If its so embarrassing though struggling to see how it could be then just tell his family the truth. Eg "I can't respond to some group posts because exDP has blocked me so I can't see/make sense of the thread". Seems smile enough.

I have done the same as your exDP and deleted my ex even though we share close friends. His my past and I have no interest in reading his posts to mutual friends. I also don't want him reading mine.

I honestly can't see what the big deal is. His blocked you because he clearly doesn't want to read your posts and/or he doesn't want you seeing his posts. Deal with it.

MrsGSR · 17/11/2013 23:59

I think YANBU. There's is no need for him to have blocked you, neither of you want to be friends with the other, so even if he unblocks you he won't see any updates etc from you that could upset him, but him having blocked you is creating problems between you and mutual friends (who you could have been friends with before you were with him)

FWIW of me and DH ever broke up I would stay fb friends with some of his family, they are lovely, we get on really well and we'd want to stay in touch for the sake of any kids.

Original poster
Blockedededed · 18/11/2013 08:20

littlepea if you look back, you will notice that the time I got pissed off with a poster it was because they accused me if being an obsessed stalker.

Id love you to point out which posts made me sound 'bitter' or 'angry' other than angry at being called a stalker?

Im certainly not bitter, the break up was my choice, Id totally out grown the relationship.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 18/11/2013 08:24

I think you need to get a grip TBH. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with his FB.

LittlePeaPod · 18/11/2013 08:35

Blocked TBH most of your posts read that way. Maybe its the way the are written. Like I said before maybe you don't mean to come across that way! In fact your last post to me reads defensive. I didn't say you were bitter or angry about the break up. I said you sound bitter and angry about the fact your exDP has blocked you.

It also, does read like you are slightly annoyed and defensive because most of the people on the thread have pointed out that the is a bit of a non issue really and YABU. Your exDP clearly doesn't want to see anything about you or what you say (in posts) to his family. Whether that embarrasses you or not, isn't his problem to be fair. Banging on at him every time you see him to unblock you is a bit weird, IMHO.

Next point is conjecture and probably a bit of a stretch but, maybe he is considering starting a new relationship and doesn't want the potential new GF to see his ex posting on threads his on. Just a thought.

DoJo · 18/11/2013 08:36

I can understand your frustration with people misunderstanding your OP and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your ex not to make things more difficult between you and his family when it sounds like you are doing your best to facilitate pleasant relationships between them and your children. However, I think you are just going to have to accept that he is being childish, which means that the more you ask him to sort this out, the more he is going to kick against it just for the sake of it. So, in your shoes I would decide on a stock response for situations where this could be a problem and try and ignore it as best you can. He'll probably get bored eventually, or people will catch on and you won't have to explain it any more.

SoupDragon · 18/11/2013 09:36

All the OP needs to do if there is a problem is apologise and explain that she can't see his posts.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/11/2013 09:45

that you are bothered about being blocked from his fb answers why you are blocked

you are not in a relationship anymore, boundaries have changed and you seem to want to cling on to something. what he is doing is not your business unless it involves your children

Mia4 · 18/11/2013 09:53

Op your ex sounds immature and likely winding you up but you are overreacting to it and letting him know this. He is entitled to block you, all exes in fact all people are however given your comments it sounds like he has done it to be petty qnd just sees your annoyance as funny.

Don't be embarrassed thqt he has blocked you just be honest if it happens again that you kiss seeing his words and do.make a faux paux. If yiu just shrug it off with 'im sorry but x has blocked me so I can no longer see any of his hposts " people will get it and know it's not you being deliberate.

Additional go to privacy settings and lick everything done to friends only then change tagging settings ti either you approve all tags or no one can tag you. That way no one can tag without your say so qnd you wont get notified.

Mia4 · 18/11/2013 09:59

Miss seeing* bloody phone

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