I'm going to have to kill him.

[CrappyDiem]

He gets words wrong. Like sharm el shay instead of sheik.

He makes noise when he eats.

He watches shit on TV.

20 fecking years I've been gently asking him not to.

I'm actually going to kill him.

[CustardOmlet]

He criticises everything I watch on the tv (I don't care what the viewing figures/IMDB scores, I just want to watch mind numbing crap)

He constantly complains of being tired from work/having our DS/ going to the gym (I care not, I have lost heart!)

He doesn't walk the dog

I am passive aggressive and rarely tell him why I'm pissed off

I withhold sex for a very long time, but again don't tell him why

I don't walk the dog.

[CrappyDiem]

You can keep him Chilly.

Or are you msrried to his brother you poor poor cow

[AShowerOfBastards]

Oh this is the thread for me!

Says "heighth" instead of "hight" (because apparantly any idiot knows it rhymes with width... )

Gets song lyrics wrong on purpose. Even when corrected.

Pretends to mishear me and replaces something I've said with something stupid eg I say "that was bloody lovely" and he says "Lidl's got what now?" Grrr

Mopes around with a headache/bad stomach/cold but won't actually do anything about it.

Leaves black sock fluff everywhere which I just don't understand, how can a few pairs of socks create so much fluff?

Oh and the spending hours having a poo, what's that about??

I love him really...mostly...

[AShowerOfBastards]

*height

[MrsWembley]

Led, I thought your PiLs were in town, or you were visiting them? Isn't that a whole thread in itself? Isn't your DH lovely by comparison?

[beginnings]

DH says I write too much into things rather than read.

Arrggghhhh.

Drives me mad.

[PuddingAndHotMilk]

Mine says some words wrong but I find it really appealing. Like pomp-a-doms when we go for a curry.
My ex-boss, however was an idiot who didn't know specific from pacific, made up all manner of words and made me quite stabby!

[legohouse]

eye-bu-fen...wtf? i can see a theme here!

[kennyp]

wimmins faults are many.
men have only two.
everything they say.
and everything they do.

the oldest man in this house says pacifically instead of specifically. for some reason i married neil from the inbetweeners father

plus he makes mashed potato and uses 93 pans to do it with.

[HopAlongOnItsOnlyChristmas]

Mine sniffs.

Sniff sniiiiiif sniff sniff


STAB STAB STABBY STAB STAB!

[mydadsdaughter]

My dp is asleep on the settee next to me drooling and snoring, I'm off to bed and leaving him there .

[isitme1]

Dont mind my dh.
Im in hospital with ds2 hes got ds1 at home and made tea
Plus cleaned up and took bins out
Aaaand
Sortd ds1s medication
[Smug]

[TheEarlOfDoncaster1963]

DH says "For goodness sakes" - ggrr. It's "for goodness sake" - singular, not plural. I find it MADDENING!!!

My mum says Brufen - she's a 60 yr old ex-nurse so I presume that's why. I purposely say "I've given dd some IBUPROFEN" in her hearing...

[Balaboosta]

Nothing wrong with "lab-rinth" iMO...

[MrsWembley]

Buttons not being undone on his shirts before he puts them in the laundry baskets... No matter how many times I tell him; I'm this close to ripping them off before I put them in the machine!

That, or tell him he can start doing his own fucking work shirts.

However, he has just quite happily ironed DD's polo shirt for school tomorrow...

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Well this may be my last night on here as I just about to get stabby with Mr Snorey Mc Judgey.I just pray for a jury of MNetters.

[UriGeller]

Oh bloody hell Pelvic

[PelvicFloorClenchReminder]

I feel I may have brought this thread down somewhat

Unfortunately, as I didn't know about mumsnet back then, I stupidly let him live. I beg forgiveness from the world for my foolish misdemeanor.

[Gutted123]

Calls the flumes at the swimming pool "Floons".
Calls Rylan Clark "Ryland".
Says "ASP" instead of "ASAP".
Tells me I watch crap on TV - but will happily spend hours watching documentaries on the history channel involving monotone voice overs and lots of black and white clips of depressed-looking men in flat caps scurrying jerkily round mills.

[iklFaceOfBooe]

DH sleep talks. Monday night it was loud 'Worzeleze' followed by mad giggling.

[Slatecross]

Mine poos in the downstairs toilet and then leaves the lid up and the door open and stinks the house out. It makes me feel stabby!

[BornThisCrazy]

Mine used to say 'satchet' to sachet. He denies it now but has obviously forgotten the amount of times I corrected him.

He has about ten showers a day (whenever he goes for a poo/wee), and is causing mould in the bathroom due to the constant steam. I will barricade him in the bathroom some day.

He steps out of clothes and leaves them in a heap on the floor. I let the dc throw them around the room now. He snores so is now in a separate room.

[Grumpasaurus]

Mine drives me mad for the following reasons:

He rambles. On and on and on and on and on and on. Mostly it's speculation.

I can hear him poo in every room in our flat.

He is super nosy and gossipy but refuses to admit it.

He never pulls his trousers up enough.

He uses big words in the wrong context. I want to smack him.

He figures that as long as he follows anything annoying he does / says / emits with 'you knew what you like when you married me', he is fine. HE IS NOT FINE.

His constant purchasing of cookbooks and discussing potential meals, that never ever get made.

He is (barely) alive, snoring away next to me.

Grrrrrrr.

[Slatecross]

Mine says "Aberdeen Agnes." He had no idea this was wrong. I should have left him there and then.

And he thought Stratford on Avon, and Stratford East London were completely the same.

And tonight he's left peanut butter in the proper butter and loaded the dishwasher all wrong and not put everything in and yet started to run the cycle.

[Squidwardtenticles]

Mine picks his nose and eats it
He scratched his arse and sniffed his fingers
He like his athletes foots and loves to scratch it
He picks his spots so it leaves scars
He sprays the toilet with poop and refuses to clean it
He sits of a night fingering his belly button with his other either playing with his balls or up his nose.

Anyone want to kill mine for me?