To think that as pre school is not compulsory...

[cantsleep]

That it should not matter if dd is late every day ?

My other dcs get to actual school on time but due to various health problems and the fact I don't drive dd is always about half an hour late.

I've explained time and time again to the pre school that iam doing my best but I got a letter today regarding a meeting they'd had citing one of the main problems as being that dd is late each day.

I get up at 6 am each day and get myself ready, then it takes over an hour to get dd1 up and sometimes ds1 needs help too as both have to do physio each morning. Dd2 and ds2 are only little and need to be dressed etc and dd2 has significant health needs. We get the oldest two to school on time but by then I'm already exhausted and usually have my breakfast and a cup of tea and then get dcs ready to walk down to pre school.

Dd hates it so screams and takes shoes off numerous times etc and it just takes ages as I'm tired.

I just feel that given the circumstances the pre school should just accept that we will never be on time rather than make such a big issue out of half an hour. Rather than putting pressure on me I would like them to just make the best of the situation and accomodate the fact that dd arrives at a different time.

AIBU?

In all honesty, I wouldn't perservere. The whole thing sounds horrific.

Then you need to listen to them.

But why can't you just get there a bit early with your dd? Go straight from school? I still don't get this - it seems such a non issue...

Get there a bit early - take a book and drinks/snacks for you all. Why is that not realistic?!

Sorry if this has already been suggested, but can't your mum take her to preschool if it's only 5 mins away? Then you can relax properly and don't have to take ds out again so quickly. .

Op I think you have 2 solutions.

Either go to the childrens centre early, sit inside, eat, test dd2, read her a story or something to calm her down ready to start preschool on time.

Or get dh to drop the older children at school and stay at home with your younger dc. Look for a local childminder for respite or think about starting dd2 in preschool for pm sessions once she drops her nap.

Your current situation is not working at all. Dd2 is unsettled and unhappy. You arriving late every day isn't helping the situation so you need to change it.

She could get there on time by changing her routine but she doesn't want to because she feels the preschool are fuckers obnoxious for making a big deal out of nothing and not being more understanding.

bimba "She could get there on time by changing her routine but she doesn't want to" because she wants the pre-school to have one rule for everyone else and another for her.

That's right because she has children with SN and disabilities so it's right that the Preschool have one rule for her and different for the others

I would just tell the pre school that due to your dd's health need, she will need to start pre school half an hour later, at 9.45 a.m. I may be wrong but I think that she will be covered by the disability discrimination act which means that the pre school has to make reasonable adjustments so that she can attend.

No, we do not have a portage worker. Iam hoping that the caf assessment will lead to us getting a bit more support.

My mum cannot take dd as she works from 8am so isn't home.

Dd is not unsettled by going in late, she just hates the separation from me and would cry whatever time she was dropped off. She does calm down after I've left though. When I collect her she is very happy. I used to collect her early but pre school didn't like that either. The reason was that dds blood sugar would drop and she needed lunch earlier than the session ended. I ole tend her early then tried going there at 1130 with a packed lunch and did her injection but she took so long to eat that by time she was inished session was over!

I spent a few weeks gradually pushing her lunchtime back by frequent testing and little top up snacks and now she stays till 1215. It's just the getting there on time we can't seem to manage.

Collected not ole tend

I do feel that the pre school want everybody abiding by their rules no matter what.

The '1 biscuit each' rule that clearly won't work for a diabetic child

When ds was there (he had allergies) and I was told he couldn't have chocolate soya milk when the other children had cows milk as it was unfair on them ( yet it was fine to exclude ds from eating cakes when it was someone's birthday and I was told he sat in the corner sulking and crying)

The rule that dd HAS to be there on time yet on Wednesdays it is parents choice if heir dcs come at normal time and they pay extra for longer session or a bit later and don't pay extra.

When I request an extra blood sugar check over the phone for dd it is refused as they "do have other children to deal with too" and "don't want to do four bg tests in one morning"

I am probably being paranoid but I almost feel bullied and that they will not accomodate our needs if it means changing their rules/ timings.

FWIW I rarely managed to get DTs to nursery before 10.00 and they were fine with it, apart from raised eyebrow if we were any later than that. In sorry you're having this problem OP. you're doing a great job to get through all that every day. Hope that doesn't sound patronising, it sounds like a handful and you are doing the best that can be done.
IMO the nursery should be supporting the family as a whole - ie factoring whole-family issues. It should feel like a comfort and a suppoert to you. if not, id be looking at alternative options.

Diabetes nurses have been in to do the training, they have said wait and see what happens at the meeting in dec and we will take it from there as pre school just kept saying one of main issues was dd being late as its difficult for them and as soon as she arrives she needs a finger price test or snack and all the other children are engrossed in activities with their key workers.

Prick not price

I tried to get in touch with early years place and the response I got was that 1-1 was unusual in a pre school as part of their core funding included something for inclusion so they should be meeting her needs already.

It really feels like too much hassle to carry on but I know when she settles she enjoys it. I always feel uneasy about her care as I'm not sure they are as vigilant as I am at home or quite understand how dangerous it is for a diabetic child with no hypo awareness. Maybe with time they will realise. It sounds awful but part of me thinks it'll take dd having a bad hypo and fainting for them to sit up and take notice.

The pre school sound awful. You sound exhausted. I would just take her out. Plenty of children go to school without going to pre school first and get on fine.

Have you thought about getting an insulin pump? My friend's DS has had one from about 18 months old. It seems to make their life a lot easier. Interestingly her eldest is also CMP allergic.

1-1 should definitely be available at preschool. Ds is one of 3 children at his preschool who have a full time 1-1 ( he does 9 hours, but 1-1 is available for 15) he also has arrived later than other children on may occasions, and left earlier. The preschool have worked with me and the professionals involved in his care to best meet his needs.

It really does sound as though you need someone who can act as an advocate, because the preschool are not listening to you or doing what is best for your child.

We have considered a pump but not sure at present we can give it 100 percent due to other dcs problems and I would need to really concentrate as I'm rubbish with technology. Def something for the near future though as we would also like her to have a continuous glucose monitor too to reduce the need for finger tests but still alert us to lows as she has no hypo awareness.

I think I will speak to preschool again tomorrow and try to arrange that dd just goes at a different time. If it was agreed it would make things much less stressful.

Just an aside: the children's school and preschool aren't near your home, and your husband has a fairly long commute.
Would it help everything if you moved?
I know moving is a big stress in itself and may not be financially possible - but long term, this might really help.

I'm not sure about the nursery. They sound totally unhelpful to the point of being deliberately so.
However, the odd thing you say makes it sound like you're not always helpful either. Like your son's chocolate soya milk. Unflavoured soya milk is available, I can see why they wouldn't have wanted him having chocolate milk. I get that he missed out on cakes, but I think the way to handle that would have been to send in some allowed treats for him to have when others had cake. Not try to balance it with chocolate milk at other times, which causes difficulty with other kids AND wouldn't have addressed him missing out on cake when that was happening. So perhaps you have to look where you CAN fit the rules.
But I'm angry for you that they seem not to have a handle on her diabetes.