To think that as pre school is not compulsory...

[cantsleep]

That it should not matter if dd is late every day ?

My other dcs get to actual school on time but due to various health problems and the fact I don't drive dd is always about half an hour late.

I've explained time and time again to the pre school that iam doing my best but I got a letter today regarding a meeting they'd had citing one of the main problems as being that dd is late each day.

I get up at 6 am each day and get myself ready, then it takes over an hour to get dd1 up and sometimes ds1 needs help too as both have to do physio each morning. Dd2 and ds2 are only little and need to be dressed etc and dd2 has significant health needs. We get the oldest two to school on time but by then I'm already exhausted and usually have my breakfast and a cup of tea and then get dcs ready to walk down to pre school.

Dd hates it so screams and takes shoes off numerous times etc and it just takes ages as I'm tired.

I just feel that given the circumstances the pre school should just accept that we will never be on time rather than make such a big issue out of half an hour. Rather than putting pressure on me I would like them to just make the best of the situation and accomodate the fact that dd arrives at a different time.

AIBU?

YABU. This is the practice for school.

Are you a lone parent? This sounds like such an exhausting start to the day.
Does your 3yo nap every afternoon? My 3.5yo only does about once a week, if that.
I think you may have to switch to afternoons. Your dd will have to be school-ready in September.

it seems easier to take dd later when all the other children settled as I can then speak to her key worker and do the daily handover a bit easier This might be part of the problem as the key worker is having to break off from what she is doing to speak to you and do the daily handover.

Dd1 is a complete nightmare in mornings, cries in pain, won't get up and needs dressing and help with medication. If ds1 is having a bad day too I don't get time to eat before they go to school.

I had to submit medical letters and a drs certificate for the pre school to send re dds funding as there were issues but I think they are resolved now. At one point they nearly withdrew her funding as she was off for 3 weeks but after the letter it was ok.

No not a lone parent but dh works long hours, used to be 7-5 but to help in mornings he changed his hours to 930-630. Sometimes he has to work later if they are v busy though.

Dd sleeps every afternoon, usually in buggy on way to collect ds1.

Dh drops us at dd1 school at 820 and then drives to work (its just over an hour away so he arrives there at 930).

My DS hates it when we're late for preschool, or even if we just arrive at register time. The only times he ever cries when I'm leaving him are when we're rushed. I can see where the preschool are coming from as it can be quite unsettling for children if they're out of synch with the routine. There are also security issues with letting parents in at different times.

Your mornings do sound stressful but if you could may e have breakfast first thing with the kids that might help save you some time. Also have the little ones ready for preschool before you do the school run if you can. I don't know if your younger children are in a buggy but I've found a buggy board very useful for saving time on the preschool run.

If you can't fit in with the preschool routine maybe you need to find another childcare provider as it's clearly causing stress all round.

So your dh is there in the mornings to help?

I appreciate that things are hard, but you seem to be coming up with lots of excuses. I think that you need to speak to the pre- school again, but you also need to accept that if they say that their sessions times start at a specific time, then you need to be there on time. If you are not able to fit in with their requirements then you need to find alternative provision or move to the afternoon sessions.

If dd sleeps in the buggy on the way to collect ds1 then this is presumably towards 3.00pm ie. at the end of afternoon pre-school sessions.

No yanbu , you have very good reasons for the lateness. The preschool do not sound very accommodating at all. I always used private nurserys as they are much more flexible.

I'm never sure if I'm reading the same thread as everyone else, there are significant health issues with several of the DC, aren't there? It's not just a cup of tea causing problems, it's checking blood sugar, dealing with hypos, etc. Cereal bars on the hoof are not going to be helpful for a diabetic, afternoon naps might be optional for a lot of DC but not necessarily for one with serious health problems.

This meeting should be about how the preschool can offer support, if it's not then maybe this preschool isn't the right one for your DD.

Dh is therein mornings to help we get up at 6 and usually have 2 each to deal with, leave our house at 750 to drive to dcs schools as they are not that close to us. It's a huge amount of work for us both especially after little sleep.

There literally is no time it's frantic, getting dcs up, physio, blood sugar check, injections, dd then often refuse food, the baby cries, etc etc. absolute nightmare.

I just cannot see why the preschool can't make an exception in light of the circumstances.

in your op you said you get up first to get ready - could that not include food? A cup of tea too if you get up 5min earlier?

Yes she naps around 3 but from 1 pm onwards is tired and usually uncomfortable so afternoon sessions would probably not agree with her .

Take a step back... It sounds miserable for everybody

What is your dd getting out of this? What are you getting out of it? How much pressure is it putting on you all as a family?

From an outsiders perspective ... I don't think it's adding up is it?

Can you withdraw dd from preschool without any major repercussions for school places later? Give it a year til she has to go, and you may find alot of the morning issues have resolved.

Don't get sucked into battling an inflexible school based system when you don't have to. You shouldn't be made to feel awful when it's all optional anyway. I know it probably does put pressure on the teachers etc with a disruptive morning, but I read your post and I see someone really struggling and just pressuring you to fit in when you just can't, well I can't see how that's going to help anyone.

By get ready I mean go for a wee and throw on clothes! Before starting the 1 hour+ ordeal of waking dd1 who cries and cries and usually needs nurofen and paracetamol.

Sometimes I make tea but then never actually drink it.

I am at the point of just giving up with pre school if they insist on her being there on time. She likes it when there but cries beforehand and hates me leaving. I can hear her screaming when I walk out.

Your dd1 sounds really poorly. Is she/are you getting all the help she's entitled to? I think another poster mentioned a taxi to school?

Dd1 needs an op which will help a bit, seeing gosh in December.

If what you call pre school is what used to be called school nursery then yes, they do have to be there at the set times. I can't see the benefit of her going.why don't you withdraw her and either keep her at home our send her to a private childcare nursery. They also do the early years education bit but well be more flexible about times I think.

Are the school aware of what you have to do each morning regarding other dcs? sorry if I missed that.

The pre school is not attached to a school. It is run from a room in children's centre and does am or pm sessions of 3 hrs.

I'm all in favour of pre schools but in your case it sounds like an awful lot of work and stress for very little gain.

From the sounds of things I think you and your dh are doing very well to just get the older ones to school on time.

Yes I have explained to them about other dcs ( they knew anyway as older two attended the same pre school).