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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

and depriving my child by not buying her anything technological?

102 replies

FigRolls · 13/11/2013 22:52

My dd is 6. She is adept at using computers and tablets at school. Her friends already own or are receiving for Christmas iPads, iPods, iPhones, Kindles, Wiis, Nintendo 3DS and so on. Dd has asked for Lego and books. She loves playing imaginative games, being active and reading which are all healthy pursuits IMO. However, my friend thinks I'm depriving her and putting her at a disadvantage by not providing her with at leastone of these ggadgets to use at home. Aibu by not doing so?

OP posts:

IamGluezilla · 13/11/2013 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HmmAnOxfordComma · 13/11/2013 23:04

There is no other correct answer to this question than 'no'.

BlackeyedSusan · 13/11/2013 23:04

absolutely not. in fct your child will now be referenced regularly in response to...

"everybody else has ot one... "

smorticus · 13/11/2013 23:05

Yanbu

My dd is 7 and does not / will not be having any of those for a few years yet.
I'm old fashioned in the sense that I feel kids should be kids and therefore receive toys not gadgets.

fuzzpig · 13/11/2013 23:07

Not at all. Gadgets are fun but not a necessity for a 6yo

123caughtaflea · 13/11/2013 23:07

We had nothing (except Internet on my laptop) until DS was 8. And when I say nothing - we didn't have a TV. By choice. I don't watch and I didn't (don't) want DS watching as much as he would need to to justify the licence. He had a DS for his 8th birthday and the TV came just before the Olympics when he was a sports-mad 9 year old. He got a psp last Christmas and I now have a Kindle Fire, which he uses. He is getting an iPod Touch for Christmas, but he is 10 now. He can have a phone and prob a laptop for secondary. He thinks he is deprived. I disagree.

RhondaJean · 13/11/2013 23:10

Not if she hasn't asked for anything and if you are confident she is learning enough at school about how to use technology which will benefit her later in life.

I heartily disagree with the withholding of technology for the sake of it though, it reminds me of the hoohah over the printing press.

I do not count tv in that btw as watching tv is a passive activity and not an emerging literacy.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 13/11/2013 23:10

So long as she gets access to something at school, and is comfortable using those things, then No.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 13/11/2013 23:11

Not at all - at 6 my DS just wanted Lego and train sets.

He will have a Hudl at 9 this year, mainly due to the fact that we have to travel long distances in the car and it is useful for this. It will be the first item of technology he has had.

Mobile phone will only be considered when he starts travelling to school unaccompanied on the train.

sparklysilversequins · 13/11/2013 23:19

It's at times like this when we really need a nice shiny gold medal emoticon.

Any chance MNHQ?

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2013 23:24

Stealth boast, at all?

livinginwonderland · 13/11/2013 23:31

YANBU, but don't get it when people don't buy technology to make a point. Technology is part of children's lives whether they use it at home or not, and I think there will come a point where not having a laptop or tablet at home will cause a disadvantage.

Not so much in primary, but most secondary schools require at least some work to be typed and a lot of homework and GCSE research requires the internet and the use of a computer. If your child isn't used to using technology at home (ie. without school instruction) they may struggle.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 13/11/2013 23:51

There could be a few reasons why the op doesn't want the technology though to be fair?

At 6 my DS wouldn't have had a tablet because he is heavy handed and would have ended up smashing an expensive piece of kit. Thankfully he had higher priorities for Christmas. His friend has an iPad which is a year old and the spiders web of a cracked screen is held together with Sellotape.

I feel he is old enough to be responsible and get the value this year, he really wants one so he is getting one.

To say you are deprived is a bit strong though. Do people really say this? Most of my friends respect my personal parenting decisions tbh.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 13/11/2013 23:51

There could be a few reasons why the op doesn't want the technology though to be fair?

I feel he is old enough to be responsible and get the value this year, he really wants one so he is getting one.

To say you are deprived is a bit strong though. Do people really say this? Most of my friends respect my personal parenting decisions tbh.

foreverondiet · 13/11/2013 23:55

Its good that she doesn't want. Much more of a problem if she DOES want and you don't want her to have.

My DS2 is 7.5 and has saved up for a (2nd hand) ipad mini, and I have caved in after a year of nagging. I would have preferred if he didn't want it. I see your OP as a bit of a boast actually!

Mattissy · 14/11/2013 00:11

I do believe that technology will have a greater and greater place insociety over the next few years and our children need to feel comfortable to be able to compete for jobs or even just to run their own house... That said she's only 7 and has plenty of time yet. Get her the Lego, it's what she wants.

LittleSiouxieSue · 14/11/2013 00:33

My children had laptops at school when they were 12. We had a home computer before that . They are both completely computer and technology savvy now some 8 years later. There is no need to do anything at 6. The best thing they did was learn to type. This really speeds up work production. No employer will care two hoots about what game a child played on their computer. No child I know is typing, doing spreadsheets or anything particularly useful for work. You pick it up when you need to or how would us adults ever manage?

dimdommilpot · 14/11/2013 08:24

YANBU. DD has just turned 3 but some of my friends with similar aged children are buying them I Pads for Christmas 'because they enjoy it'. Its bloody stupid. I dont plan on getting her anything like that for a good few years yet.
We have 1 and DD gets a 10 minute play if she goes to bed and stays there until a reasonable hour. Today she will not be getting a go!

CrotchStitch · 14/11/2013 08:58

YANBU as she has not asked and at 6 it really isn't necessary, so long as she has some access at school.
However as she gets older it can be terribly alienating to not have things in common with your peers (I know this from personal experience)
DS is 9 and has a Wii and a DS. The Wii is on its toes and he is having an xbox for Christmas He also plays Minecraft on the iPad. He is however limited to 30 minutes screen time a day on whatever device he chooses. He is so busy that I an see that any longer would have a negative impact on his other activities. It's "not fair" and I am "mean" sometimes but frankly I don't really care :o

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 09:01

MNo your child is 6 and she likes toys buy her toys when she shows an interest in things techno then she can have them , I was astounded recently when i heard of a 4 year old getting a Tablet for Christmas but each to their own , my dds were 6 when this sort of thing wasn't really around for 6 year olds so it was never an issue, they got toys

funnyvalentine · 14/11/2013 09:02

I really don't understand why technology is considered such a bad thing for kids? I make a great career out of technology, which is in part due to my dad letting me play with all the gadgets when I was a child. Am also normal and well-adjusted, I think!

Crowler · 14/11/2013 09:03

You're obviously not being unreasonable.

But in my unscientific survey, I have found that people who don't buy their children gadgets have a 50% chance of becoming unbearably smug. I hope this doesn't happen to you.

BoffinMum · 14/11/2013 09:05

If she doesn't feel the need for any of it at home, I'd stick with the Lego.
Later it might be nice to buy her a DS for use on long car trips, etc, but again only if she feels the need.

Tailtwister · 14/11/2013 09:05

YANBU. Our two have access to an IPad because DH and I both have one, but there's no way we would give them one of their own and tbh neither of them are particularly bothered about ours anyway.

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 09:06

there is nothing wrong with technology but if children are not really interested in it especially at 6 they don't need to have it

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