to be shocked by this little girl

[runningbutnotfastenough]

Picked DD up from school yesterday, only to be confronted by one of DDs' friends' ( i say friend, i mean it in the loosest sense of the word, they are both 7)
she marched up to me and said ' runniing, could i have a word with you in private please' I had DD with me, and her friend who was coming round for tea. I told her no, i couldnt talk to her in private as there was nowhere private, she said ' i want to talk to you about your DDs behaviour, she was mean to me today'
i asked her what had happened and got a garbled thing which made no sense, so i asked if the school had sorted it out at the time, she said yes, so i said ' great, lets leave it at that then'

Questionned DD and the friend in the car, apparently this girl told a dinner lady my DD had said sometihng she hadnt, another friend had backed my DD up and so this girl ( the one that had a word with me) had got told off.

Im just utterly shocked that a 7 year old would come over and speak to me like that.... and would think i would take her ' side' over hers.

She's 7. She's sure she's right about everything and everyone.

Let it go!

She sounds delightful. Well handled.

What a little madam! YANBU

ive let it go... i dont care what she said, im just a bit dumbstuck that a 7 year old would do that.

Golly what a little madam! I wonder if she reads mumsnet?

She does sound a bit obnoxious but I've heard worse. Lots of little girls go through a bossyboots phase at this age. I'm wondering whether my ds with Aspergers might have done this at this age, I'm not sure but it's possible.

Let it go.

I had little boy last week and tell me my dd5 was very naughty in school and I should punish her my DD was upset

I have to admit to laughing at the thought of a 7 year old saying 'I want to talk about DDs behaviour'

I imagined a small girl with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot and wagging her finger.

You handled the self important little madam well.

thats almost what she was doing.

That would have just made me laugh to be honest! She sounds a real little character.

What was the DC parents reaction to this?
I would have been really emabaressed if she were mine, but I wonder of that's an attitude she's picked up at home.

THis is the type of thing my dd might come out with.

She is supposedly NT, but has a LOT of AS quirks, and certainly uses language far beyond her years (she is almost 7). MOst of what she says sounds as though it is either parrotted straight from something she has heard at home (can be very depending on what she is saying) or sounds as though she has swallowed a dictionary/thesaurus.

She would have no idea that she sounds 'wrong', or that it is socially a bit of an odd thing for her to do.

YABU to be shocked. Why shouldn't she speak up for herself if she feels she's been mistreated?

yeh, just say 'ok hmm'.

I had to say to one boy at school 'if you have an issue talk to your teacher' as every day he was striding out of school and telling me what my son had said to him. My son thought they were friends so it wasn't that my son was being mean to him!

Another little girl wanted me to discipline my son because he touched her school bag! I was thinking oh get over yourself princess, but I said 'well, is your school bag damaged?'. She wouldn't let it go though. I'm sure she told her mum that sonbrage touched her schoolbag. There might have been a courtcase.

yeh, lingdilong, I'd be stifling a laugh.

Another child, ten years old this one though, I called her Rosie and she put her hand up, like, yo momma style, and said "can I stop you right there, my name is Rosemary

She was being perfectly reasonable. I had erroneously assumed she was known as Rosie. Well, my mistake, and didn't she let me know it!

The parents werent there at the time, so i dont know.

Shes not on the spectrum, Shes been in DD's class since they started school, so i know her reasonably well. They are also ' friends' she was here on a playdate just the other week, go to each others parties etc.

She doesn't sound rude really, she did say please! What shocked you so much? The precociousness?

I know a girl like that OP - she is a right little madam however she does spend far too much time in the company of adults and not enough time playing with friends. I would feel a bit sorry for her if she wasn't such a little pest to my DD

i have one mildly on the spectrum and one not.

i think it's more down to the parents' reaction at home to other children upsetting their child . the girls i mentioned are actually sisters and I know that in their home environment their parents are very outraged on their behalf every time somebody upsets them, whereas even with my AS child, i'd be suggesting to him that he was only one HALF of the equation there, his needs might be equal, but 50:50, have also spoken to both kids about picking battles, letting some things go out of politeness, identifying the line that does need to be reported to school/parents..... my kids one with a spectrum disorder and one without seem to tumble through the slings and arrows of playground politics without feeling that other children need to be disciplined. My son was very upset when he was singled out for a disciplinary action recently though and he was only partly at fault. He totally could have lived with it with a shrug if the other child had been blamed too1

I'm sorry, but you have no idea whether she is on the spectrum, simply because she has been in your dd's class for a couple of years and has been around to play.

Just about everyone (including the school) who I have talked ot about dd2, and mentioned we are thinking of assessment due to some difficulties she has, expresses amazement - 'but she's so sociable' (err, yes), 'but she's so polite' (err, yes), 'but she's always so popular (err, yes).

None of that means she cannot also be on the spectrum, and misjudge social situations.

dd has always behaved impeccably on playdates, and most of the time at school too. Mostly because we have rehearsed, and practised over and over again how to react, what to say, etc. dd quizzes me regualryl on what things mean, why people behave in such and such a way, and so on. because this is one of her coping mechanisms. and for now it works, so most peopel have no idea how much she struggles to understand and behave appropriately.

She will be the class fusspot.

They make teachers eye roll a lot.

Well, it's probably how she sees her mum react to her behaviour!! Monkey see monkey do!

ha ha, I'd be gobsmacked too. Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

Try not to hold it against her, unless she is a llittle pest in general.

She sounds like many a little madam I have known grow up into reasonable teenagers!