to be shocked by this little girl

[runningbutnotfastenough]

Picked DD up from school yesterday, only to be confronted by one of DDs' friends' ( i say friend, i mean it in the loosest sense of the word, they are both 7)
she marched up to me and said ' runniing, could i have a word with you in private please' I had DD with me, and her friend who was coming round for tea. I told her no, i couldnt talk to her in private as there was nowhere private, she said ' i want to talk to you about your DDs behaviour, she was mean to me today'
i asked her what had happened and got a garbled thing which made no sense, so i asked if the school had sorted it out at the time, she said yes, so i said ' great, lets leave it at that then'

Questionned DD and the friend in the car, apparently this girl told a dinner lady my DD had said sometihng she hadnt, another friend had backed my DD up and so this girl ( the one that had a word with me) had got told off.

Im just utterly shocked that a 7 year old would come over and speak to me like that.... and would think i would take her ' side' over hers.

Rocking you're projecting your backstory onto this situation. Others could project their back story onto the situation and say that the Op's daughter not only had said those things, but then got a friend to say she hadn't and got her into trouble too. I've seen both happen at school, particularly among that age.

I wouldn't think that your dd's friend being asked by you on a playdate in your house would be an objective view in most cases, even if she was friends with both girls. And, if you look in the OP you also did it in front of your dd, which really isn't going to make for unbiased reporting.

Not saying it was/wasn't true. More that no one can tell from this.

Well OP you need an impartial adult version of the events, sorry.
Things could be confusing between 7 years olds kids.

I think it takes a lot of gut for a 7 year old to 'march' up to a colleague's mother and ask for a word in private about her daughter's behaviour just to say a lie.

It seems she really feels there was a misunderstanding....

But than, my own daughter is no Angel and I never pretended she was so I'm always suspicious when she is in trouble and it is always otherkids fault.

its not even about the he said she said thing.
I know what 7 year olds are like, im not labouring under some belief my DD is perfect and the school already dealt with it

what i was shocked about, was the fact that it WAS already dealt with and this child was told off, but thought she would come and ' have a word with me in private about my DD's behaviour'

to what end? when it had already been dealt with? only for the point of trying to get me to tell her off and embarass her?

I would have laughed.

Hehe, I'm laughing because I spent many years teaching this age group! That sounds totally normal if not slight rude she's mimicking someone she knows or things she's heard.

You handled it perfectly. Much ether than me who used to have to step out of the room to stop myself giggling some days

Rude little madam. That is all.

but maybe she feels there was a misunderstanding or the whole thing was unfair....even though the situation was dealt with it doesn't mean that school sraff don't make mistakes.

sweet,she may have done, but shes 7.
she shouldnt have really spoken to me like that.

ive just remembered she did something similar at DD's birthday, they were all playing games, she didnt want to join in so decided to read a book in the corner of the room. She came up to me and complained and said i needed to tell all the others to stop making so much noise as she couldnt read.

I told her no, itwas a party and if she didnt want to join in that was fine but i wasnt stopping the games.

haha this made me laugh

I have to say I have a grudging admiration for her assertiveness !!!! dont fuck with her

also take a step back here, you are waaaaaaaaay too involved in a spat between 7 year olds

How funny !
My DD aged 6, came out of her class the day, walked straight past me and up to th mum of a girl in her class,
She said excuse me, but X said so and so, is That TRUE ??
The mum said with shocked face, no thats not true !
MY DD said to the little girl, by now at her mums side, told you, you were fibbing !! Big grin.
They are 6, playground politics, nothing more,
Get a life OP, and dont sweat the small stuff :)

The mum of one of my dds friends has an actual dossier with lists of 'incidents' which happen to her precious at school. Some of the most trivial things you can imagine...

She's obviously an empowered young woman who knows her rights and is prepared to work at gaining the end result she desires.
I've often thought that the lack of jobs as Empress was a flaw. There are so many able candidates.

The mum of one of my dds friends has an actual dossier with lists of 'incidents' which happen to her precious at school. Some of the most trivial things you can imagine...

I think the little girl sounds great. Sexist bollocks to say she's a little madam etc. any girl with a bit of character and able to assert herself is critisised for being a little madam. It takes a lot of guts to speak to an adult like this.

That post doesn't make sense but I hope people get the gist of what I'm trying to say.

i dont really think its sexist, id be equally dumbfounded if a little boy spoke to me like it.

and i dont think its being assertive, knowing the girl and the way she speaks to her parents its actually nothing but rudeness.

To be honest you're judging her by adult standards. She 's a child. She doesn't have the maturity to understand what she did was 'wrong.' I think a lot of the language being used about this girl on here is sexist. No wonder we have no fucking women in boardrooms when mothers react to assertive little girls in this way

If she's been for playdates, then she probably did, somewhat justifiably, feel that she knew you well enough to be able to talk to you directly.

All the girl said was that she wanted a word in private and that your dd had been mean. How the fuck is that rude!

I would have just said no one likes a tell tale.

"Imagine how she wanted your dd to feel - alienated and without support from her own mum? "

Wtf?!!!

Not to mention: "she shouldn't have spoken to me like that" and "she was rude". Poor kid should be seen and not heard presumably. How very dare she approach an adult she knows to politely tell her that she thinks she was wronged.

She's just mimicking behaviour that she's seen and believes to be correct. She's not being a "rude madam", clearly she's seen adults communicating with each other about behaviour in this way and thinks its appropriate. Does she have a sibling who she might have observed a teacher adopting this approach to her mum about?

I think it's really sad that she's denounced as "a madam". She's 7, she's learning how to communicate and how to behave. Maybe have a word with her mum, if you're so friendly with her, to let her know what happened - she'll probably want to explain to her daughter why the behaviour isn't acceptable for children.

I hate that don't be a telltale bollocks. Always used by the parents of bullies who'd rather vilify the victim than face up to the realty their DC is a bully. It's been used for decades to present children from voicing their problems about sexual abuse and bullying.

Prevent not present.