to be shocked by this little girl

[runningbutnotfastenough]

Picked DD up from school yesterday, only to be confronted by one of DDs' friends' ( i say friend, i mean it in the loosest sense of the word, they are both 7)
she marched up to me and said ' runniing, could i have a word with you in private please' I had DD with me, and her friend who was coming round for tea. I told her no, i couldnt talk to her in private as there was nowhere private, she said ' i want to talk to you about your DDs behaviour, she was mean to me today'
i asked her what had happened and got a garbled thing which made no sense, so i asked if the school had sorted it out at the time, she said yes, so i said ' great, lets leave it at that then'

Questionned DD and the friend in the car, apparently this girl told a dinner lady my DD had said sometihng she hadnt, another friend had backed my DD up and so this girl ( the one that had a word with me) had got told off.

Im just utterly shocked that a 7 year old would come over and speak to me like that.... and would think i would take her ' side' over hers.

FannyFifer

And that's how bullying and malicious behaviour continues, and how eventually kids get isolated to the point of suicide or self-harm.

No-one should discourage a child from speaking out if they feel unjustly treated or that someone was mean to them. It's instilling silence at a young age that stops kids from speaking out if things get serious.

I found it funny tbh.
At least she came to you and she spoke herself rather than telling her mum and then her mum speak to you.

It reminds me a bit of my generation's childhood when we argued and sorted things out ourselves. This days its too much involvement from mums imo.

pleco i think you are making this into something it isnt.

Today the same girl was shouting at DD so much she was told off in class....
They usually got to a club afterschool, run by the school, today DD wasnt going as i have a day off today, so i picked her up. This girl didnt like this and kept following DD around, shouting at her telling her she was wrong for not going, that she had to go and then that she was a liar.

The teacher stepped in.

This is not a case of a poor girl reaching out for help.

thing is, it had already been sorted out. there was no need for her to speak to me.

especially since she was the one who had been told off.

This young lady doesn't seem to have a problem speaking her mind does she?

I think you're in denial OP.

oh for gods sake, everything's about bullying isn't it? Sometimes kids tattle tale and snitch, very deliberately to get someone else into trouble. The class troublemaker did this with one of my dc's, who got into trouble with teacher, and later got an apology from the troublemaker for making shit up! I knew it was bollocks at the time, but was very apologetic to the teacher. The snitcher has made up some massive whoppers since and often enlists her parents, who believe it too. The school can see through it now, but they still have up tow the official line, whilst humouring the parents.

YABU to be shocked - I could think of at least two girls in DD's class that would do exactly the same thing! She's destined to be a teacher that one! Although im not sure popular in school!

denial of what exactly joni?

Ive done it again, not RTFT - sorry op, i thought the first post was quite funny actually but i can see things have stepped up a bit, that is not fun. I hope you get it sorted.

YANBU

I really wouldn't expect a child to speak to me like that. But I suppose it's learned behaviour so it's not her fault, not necessarily a bad thing but is quite obnoxious

But let it go, it might be one of those moments she'll look back on when she's older

The only thing that's worse than the way girls behave with each other is the way the girls' mothers behave.
I don't think anybody is covered in glory here.

You keep harping on about how rude this girl is when she hasn't been rude at all. Can't you see that?

This does sound very very much like the little girl in DD's class - she isn't nasty, just very insecure i think and this comes out as bossiness and telling my DD she has to play with her etc. My DD often likes to play on her own and will just ignore this other girl sometimes, it fries her head, luckily her mum is nice so any issues we tend to iron out, could you talk to the other girl's mum?

I agree joni and jammie.

Also OP how woul you have preferred her to speak to you? You say she shouldnt have spoken to you 'like that' but it really comes across as though you think she shouldnt have spoken to you at all. Is that what you think?

I think she was quite rude.

I don't expect children to talk to me like they are an adult because they aren't.

Crumbs, it has been an eye opener to read the responses on here praising this behaviour. The child is only 7 so of course she is learning. But it WAS rude of her.

The rudeness lies not in the words she said, which for an adult could perhaps, depending on tone, be politely assertive. No, it's the apparent belief that she has the right to some kind of 'discussion' on the level of an equal, or even a superior, with you, about your daughter. Not her place, nor her job to do this. And it appears she attempted this because she has not accepted the authority of her teacher on the matter. Tell her mother, and hope she perceives the need to sort out the girl's grandiosity. (Although, considering some of the replies above that is by no means guaranteed).

Go on, tell me I'm a fusty old Victorian.

You keep harping on about how rude this girl is when she hasn't been rude at all. Can't you see that?

Well I for one and a lot of the other posters have agreed it was rude.

I know it's great that everyone is so 'aware' and all that, but I'm getting a bit fed up that every time there is a story about some badly behaved or bratty child there is a chorus of 'how do you know he/she isn't on the spectrum?'. Special needs doesn't always equal bad behaviour you know, some of the politest kids are on the spectrum, just the same as some of the rudest, most precocious kids aren't.
Just saying.

I shall join you in the fusty Victorian corner.

A 7yo in DS's class calmly told one of the mums 'I fucking hate my mother'. Now that was shocking!

LMAO at "little madam" being sexist - its not really because if i were describing a boy i might say "little fucker" instead.

nope sandfish, thats exactly the way i see it. It was almost like she thought she was above me, her tone, her stance and the look on her face.

lem - i wouldnt talk to the mum about it, because its a non issue that the school have already sorted. What happened between the girls is just playground stuff and doesnt need to be dealt with by the parents because its just run of the mill stuff.

Has somebody said she's on the spectrum? If the girl was older perhaps that would be rude but she's 7 FFs. 7 year olds have no judgement! Having the confidence to speak to her an adult does not IMO make her 'obnoxious' or a 'madam' or 'rude.'

To be honest she sounds a lot like my DC who is currently going through assessments and I highly suspect has Aspergers....just because you know the child and the child's parents and you have experience of spectrum disorders doesn't mean she's not on the spectrum - unless you know she's been through extensive assessment.

Or, she's extremely outspoken and a bit spoiled, but the whole incident with the girl following your DD around shouting that she needs to stay for afterschool club smacks of some sort of neurodevelopmental issue....