to wonder what Mumsnet is actually for?

[Mintyy]

I find it impossible to use these days.

There is a fight on every thread. And I don't just mean in a yanbu/yabu sort of way. I mean that people are happy to round on others because they have different reasons for being here.

I have even seen a row between two different support threads this week.

If you want to make friends you are told off for being royalty or cliquey.

If you want to indulge in a little mild gossiping you are shouted down for being judgemental or shallow.

If you want to have a lighthearted chat you have to make that clear in the thread title nowadays.

I find the general mood of the place to be aggressive, angry, confrontational, defensive, impossible, predictable.

I keep hoping that things will improve, but how ?

i like to brows the threads if i don,t like a paticular thread i,ll leave it every body,s opinions going to be differen,t that,s why i like mumsnet it,swhen a thread turns nasty try not to follow the sheep the point gets lost far too quickly and you don,t know whats going on.

Yes fifi669, I get a bit sick of the answer to everything being LTB. I think a lot of people who say that and then are outraged that OP doesn't immediately pack her bags are seriously projecting.

However, if you ask the internet for advice, you will get some strange answers, as there are a lot of odd people out there (in amongst all the lovely MN-ers obv).

Probably controversial, but I do agree with fifi that the LTB/toxic relationship responses can sometimes be OTT. Often they're not, but occasionally they are, in an anti-men way. I imagine posters are just influenced by what they have experienced in their own life, though. But I always feel a bit bad for a poster than wants to rant that their DH got drunk and slept at a mate's house, only to be told her DH is obviously a cheating bastard who has no respect for her. Not just that he got drunk and was a bit of a tit.

I agree, my DH did something monumentally stupid a few weeks ago and I was called every name under the sun for not forcing him onto the street then and there.

I think sometimes, perhaps if someone has been single for a long time or whatever, they can forget that husbands are part of the family and cannot just be removed like a plaster.

Minty it's simple, it's gorn mainstream like Glastonbury did in about 1995.

Never the same since.

I too find it impossibly confrontational much of the time and no longer post about any personal problems I might have because of the massive flaming that is pretty much inevitable.

I sometimes write a massive OP and then just delete it, or email it to myself instead of pressing post. It's better that way.

But I am glad you're still here mate.

Minty it's simple, it's gorn mainstream like Glastonbury did in about 1995 That's the analogy I was looking for, thank you Pato

I post personal problems under a different NN. Haven't settled on 'who' I am yet really.

Massive flamings aren't inevitable though - I've had so much support on here

I agree with Geckos though - think there's much projection on here (inevitably) which you just have to look past. I too hate it when someone posts something stupid their DH has done, and posters immediately assume the worst, he must be having an affair, LTB etc.

Also there are some really paranoid people out there, who assume everyone is a potential axe murderer or rapist e.g. the recent 'Delivery guy has been in my toilet for 40 mins' thread - I mean, he probably just had a massive shit, right?! - I felt sorry for the OP there.

I'm relatively new to MN and read loads of threads, comment on a few where I have an actual opinion to put across.

I like AIBU because there's some good discussions and amongst all the bun fighting there can be some stand out posts that make me revise my opinions.

I agree that some posters can be very vehement about seeing (eg) abuse where it's one off unreasonable behaviour etc etc.

The best thing about it IMO is that there are so many different varients of people and lifestyles and people post so openly and honestly about their own experiences which you wouldn't normally be privy to (unless it was a close friend), and I have learned a lot about people and how they tick / how they view things differently to me.

I quite enjoy the unreasonable-ness sometimes tbh. A recent high point was toddler asleep in a car thread. OMG! Call the police! Call SS! Won't anyone think of the children!

I love Mumsnet.

The point of Mumsnet is to brighten your day just when you think you can't stand another moment at work/with the DC/with DH (delete as appropriate), and you have a little peek and then everything is all right with the world again.

I laughed all the way through the derailment of that thread Reluctant, there are so many urban dangers I am now aware of thanks to that thread!

Ha, cosy, that thread was hilarious. I mean, 99% of the people I know would have let that man use the bathroom. It's just polite - poor guy in his car, he just needs a piss. But some of the comments directed at the OP Poor woman. But it was funny.

Oh Mary, are you bulling me?

There are fewer and fewer of them around.

Speaking of which, where the hell is LeGavrorf? she is good value for starting funny threads.

I use it for advice (not on very personal stuff though, I don't think anonymous internet forums are ideal for that), recommendations, ideas and moments of complete hilarity. Also for fascinating glimpses into other people's lives. MN serves its function really well, for me.

I use MN mainly for the laughs.

There doesn't seem many these days.

And yes I do seek out threads where I know the posters.

If that makes me cliquey then I'm not bothered tbh.

WaspsInTheHouse Tue 12-Nov-13 13:30:05

Christmas coming up, experience tells me it's a good time to start a secret breakaway forum to resurrect the good old days when mumsnet wasn't so big and was full of the right kind of people having the right kind of fun and support.
___

LOLZ!

See that's like 20 posts down and NO ONE noticed it!

Moldies is old news.

Oh I noticed it Pato, just ignoring obviously GF type posts, as getting cross about everything is

1. pointless
2. tiring

I've changed the way I use it. I am just sticking with the mindless pap atm I realised that there is too much jackanory on here and I got sick of wasting my time. Plus it's begging bowl season, which always puts me off. Maybe that I think like that is evidence I'm a cynical sour old cow who ought to give her pc to someone more deserving. But that's my problem and not something I expect any of you give a shit about and it's good for that. It's good for the serious stuff too, for those who want that. It's good for the bun fights, if that's your bag.

We all moan about it, but we'd miss it if it disappeared.

We'd end up creating it again. You know we would

Holy crap, that's an emoticon record even for me. Sorry.

It's good for the mindless pap. Big () in the middle of it. Something. I dunno.