to wonder what Mumsnet is actually for?

[Mintyy]

I find it impossible to use these days.

There is a fight on every thread. And I don't just mean in a yanbu/yabu sort of way. I mean that people are happy to round on others because they have different reasons for being here.

I have even seen a row between two different support threads this week.

If you want to make friends you are told off for being royalty or cliquey.

If you want to indulge in a little mild gossiping you are shouted down for being judgemental or shallow.

If you want to have a lighthearted chat you have to make that clear in the thread title nowadays.

I find the general mood of the place to be aggressive, angry, confrontational, defensive, impossible, predictable.

I keep hoping that things will improve, but how ?

Yes, I think I do wish there was more fun to be had here. I guess that is what I'm saying.

This is the way of internet forums.

Every forum and newsgroup I have been on over the years has this kind of thread on it from time to time.

I think it is how people feel when they have been on a forum for a long time.
Then they either take a break or move on.

It's a take-it-or-leave-it kinda thing.

Back in the day when I first joined in 2001 it was informative, fun, intelligent and above all educational. It can never go back to the small community of articulate, interesting and original posters.

Probably not Myalias

But there are some hilarious threads on here - I've laughed out loud many a time.

And if there's nothing current that floats your boat, you can always go over to Classics and find something to amuse you there.

Are you referring to the fact that some GFs just derail fun threads? That is annoying, I do agree. There is a lot of negativity to be found on here sometimes.

But there's enough good stuff that shines through

It is just not at all enjoyable really at the moment.

I have decamped mainly to twitter. I have been on here for 7 years with the same name, now namechange weekly and just stay on very trivial threads.

I wanted to start a thread about my daughter's degree choices and my doubts as to it's usefulness but I can't be bothered with the inevitable thicko and snarling responses which are bound to ensue.

This isn't really a community for me any more. I speak to my mumsnet mates via other platforms. This place seems more like the daily mail comments section now.

I haven't really used it much for support I stumbled across AIBU one day and that's pretty much the only forum I nose at most days.

Sometimes I just like reading down through the thread titles going "yes" "no" "who cares?" "probably"

I've posted a couple of threads but I'm not sure I'd want to pose a serious life problem myself as those can be too complicated to explain. I don't think I could be arsed having to weed out the sensible replies from the ones who seem to constantly get the wrong end of the stick and nit pick through every detail.

Don't think I'd have the patience :)

Back in the day when I first joined in 2001 it was informative, fun, intelligent and above all educational. It can never go back to the small community of articulate, interesting and original posters.

That must be difficult to take - when you've known it from when it was small, to see it grow into the huge beast it is now. Kind of like when you were into an indie band when you were young, and they were cool because no one else liked them, then they had a hit and suddenly everyone was into them and they sold themselves out. I imagine that it is difficult, and you might miss the old MN.

Presumably some of those original members are still here though?

It depends on the age of your children, mine are teenagers now so I need something in between mumsnet and gransnet.

Cosyteabags that is a really lovely post. I have been helped hugely by mumsnet over the years, and I loved it for a long time, felt very much like you.

Now - not so much. But I think it is probably righjt nannyogg that there is probably a finite amount of time you can be a prolific poster without cynicism or staleness setting in.

The thread I'm currently running is about a serious life problem

I soon realized that other people are using it to project their own issues - so I've had some comments from people who suggest extreme measures like not speaking to my whole family ever again - which I understand are just their projections.

I pick out the nuggets of good advice amongst the less useful. Just like if you were having a conversation with a group of friends - some of your friends would say stupid stuff which doesn't help. Others will understand you and give appropriate advice.

I also quickly realized that I don't need to reply to the nit-picking posters. If someone is asking questions, or suggesting something I don't agree with, I just ignore it.

Another thing MN has done for me is to make me less judgemental (at least in public). Things that I might have complained about in RL about other people's parenting choices for example, are now put into perspective. I think of similar threads on here and think of how people get told off for being judgey, and think that's a good lesson to learn.

It's!

Fucking norah. Its. ITS!

Absolutely CosyTeaBags I don't recognise anyone from the old days. Tigermoth,bloss,Sudonim and Cod were the most memorable posters from that era

That's one thing I have taken from mumsnet to my great benefit.

I am far less of a judgy twat after reading about people's lives on here.

I'm from the old days Myalias

Hmm, I don't know. I started a thread asking for reassurance last night. I was massively, massively upset and stressed and MN really helped. I was given good, unbiased advice. I asked one poster who I felt wasn't really helping, to stop politely, and they did.

You're always going to get the odd one who wants to start a fight. But by and large, I've found it helpful, calming and offers of assistance I had, especially last night, where slightly overwhelming. Lovely.

How do you know they're not still here, but under a different name

I think it's probably what NannyOgg says as well - there's only so long you can be 'high profile' before life takes a different turn, or you get pissed off with it or your computer breaks!

Mumsnet has helped me with more serious threads that I rarely do. I tend to do the pointless ones like Frys chocolate opinions.

Keeps me sane with having no one around me.

I've been here a fair few years now, and yes, there is a good bit of low level crap going on atm, but the good stuff is still around, the support is still here, and I love to see an old poster pop up if they haven't been around in a while.

Peaks and troughs, tis the way of the boards.

yep CherH...., that's really true. I'm miles less judgy about other people's parenting due to being on here.

a) none of my business
b) don't know the full story

it could just be because my DS is older now though, and I think parenting becomes less all consuming after you've settled into it a bit.

I think that's the issue Ziggie. Sometimes someone will start a perfectly resonable thread and be torn to shreds, whereas a similar thread a few weeks later will elicit a completely different set of (positive) responses. It really depends on who is around at the time, so sometimes it's helpful and constructive whereas at other times it's like watching someone being thrown to the lions.

I once had a complete mauling on AIBU. It started off fine, some really good, constructive comments (not all in agreement with me I hasten to add!), but then a few posters piled in and it got completely out of hand. I ended up hiding the thread and staying away for a while.

Christmas coming up, experience tells me it's a good time to start a secret breakaway forum to resurrect the good old days when mumsnet wasn't so big and was full of the right kind of people having the right kind of fun and support.

I don't miss the 'good' old days with the smaller number of posters tbh. It could be incredibly cliquey at times.

I think the influxes of newbies keep this place fresh. Nobody knows who is new or not (there was a suggestion that everyone's name should have their joining date and/or number of posts. I think that's a bad idea. Everyone is equal on here.

I think what I don't like is that due to mumsnets success and high profile knobheads join up specifically to troll, be spiteful and combative or to stir up unrest. And I am just sick of it.

I also agree that when your kids get older perhaps some of the point of mumsnetting goes. My dd is 18 soon.

Mind you there are loads of non parents on here as well so perhaps I'm talking bollocks.

I've also found MN to be hardwork sometimes. I've posted a thread and been called a troll as it was a very personal thing I thought I could ask in anonymity. I've been called every name under the sun. I'm driven mad by people that quote me with a underneath as if I'm some weirdo.

There is a group of people that seem to judge you for everything. I also think that quite often things are over analysed and labelled as abuse/toxic relationships etc, so much LTB stuff. There is def an anti men undercurrent from some posters. I thought the rise if feminism was to say we're as worthy as men and deserve to be treated as equals, not to beat them down instead.

I joined MN thinking it was a support forum when half the time any OP is scared away by the eventual gunfight into how they should be living their lives.

That said the TTC threads (esp JSing) are great and I've seen a lot of good advice in relationships. Sometimes I think people are from another planet, it's hard when people attack you directly.

Sorry for the rant!