to be absolutely freaking fuming about breastfeeding vouchers! !!!

[harriet247]

Cannot put into words how annoyed I am,have just switched on the news to be told that the government are considering offering breastfeeding vouchers to new mums.
160 quid in shopping vouchers for the first 6 weeks of the babys life and 200 if you go up to 6 months.
Im a ftm and I had crippling horrible guilt that I couldn't breastfeed. I really wanted to but my milk didnt turn up until 9 days after my baby was born. I think was something to do with 44 hour labour which ended in an emc a few weeks before my due date.
I am just furious, furious that women are being treated like foolish little ladies who need a cash incentive to feed their babies in the way the powers that be say is best.

They won't 'keep their noses out' of women's choices because women's choices in regard to this issue HAVE IMPLICATIONS FOR THE HEALTH OF CHILDREN AND FOR THE NHS.

Sorry to shout, but this IS a public health issue, just as something like, oh, passive smoking in the home, say. You have a right to do it, but it may have implications for your health and the health of your child. Therefore health bodies will have campaigns and initiatives to try to change attitudes and behaviour in relation to this issue.

And I am in an affluent area of the south east.
Yes, it's fine to bf my baby in Starbucks or costa, but those comments about bf I mentioned, I hear them all the time from people when the feeding of babies is being discussed.

d feel ashamed to bottle feed in public here (Midlands) but perfectly happy to breastfeed.

this is a your own feelings I honestly dont think people give a shiny shite how ANYbody feeds their baby

Challenging social norms is extremely hard. If I were a young women who had just given birth, was exhausted, vulnerable etc I'm not sure a few shopping vouchers would give me the confidence to BF in public if people were openly staring etc. I just avoided going out when mine were little (or fed in toilets/the car) as I was so worried people would see me bottle feeding and think me a terrible mother. In the UK, in many places, BF is seen as best but not something you should do in public, whilst bottle feeding is the norm but openly criticised by many as well. You can't win. It's a crippling lack of support for mothers, who are so often left alone to cope that's the problem, however they feed. We're supposed in live in family groups and the countries who still do tend to also have better BF rates. I suppose you could use the vouchers for BF bras though, those things cost a fortune.

Sorry - ? I had no idea my perception and/or experience was so unusual.

Filled may be an exaggeration but that is the experience I have had, yes.

Ds1 is 10. Things have probably improved since then but at the time I had people literally moving away from me when I said I was intending to breastfeed. 'Ugh, I could never do that' was one choice remark.

I have been tutted at, given filthy looks, and it was a miracle I managed to initiate feeding with ds1. Everyone seemed to be telling me in no uncertain terms not to, including the hospital staff.

Neun - the scheme is targeted at women who wouldn't normally even start breastfeeding, not at those who start and then give up quickly.

Yes but from personal experience it was lack of knowledge and support from HCPs that meant I could not bf my first 2 children,the will was absolutely there. It would not matter which socioeconomic group I belonged to the issues would have been there and to overcome them they needed to be identified and understood by HCPs which they were not. 2 HVs had no idea what tt was, no ideas how to deal with inverted nipples etc. A GP told me you couldn't treat thrush when bf, the list was endless. It was finding the lactation consultant who knew what she was talking about and who had actually bf 6 kids herself that finally got me on track. I do not think formula vouchers or bf vouchers are a good idea. Babies need to be fed right through their lives so why give formula vouchers but on the other hand give gold standard bf support to make it cheaper for mothers who choose it.

In fact exactly what TheRealAmandaClarke said, in both posts, and I am in the same area afaik.

Totally disagree Amanda. If someone said out loud that breastfeeding was disgusting they would be instantly written off as an uneducated chav. People I know are ridiculously proud of the fact they breastfeed, and often lie about how long they carried on for and compete with each other over who breastfeeds the oldest child or the most times a day.

They go on rallys and make a point of getting their boobs out in public and DARING someone to ask them to cover up.

Id certainly feel like a failure if I ever used a bottle (or a dummy) and have no intention whatsoever to do either. I will put up with a lot of discomfort and sleep deprivation rather than FF.
That's probably more due to with how other people would disapprove of it than the health implications to the baby.

FF is seen as lower class at best, or child neglect at worst

I breastfed my older 3 children for 14 months, 18 months and 21 months. DS4 couldn't breastfeed.

I think mums who want to breastfeed will do if they can and vouchers wont make any difference.

As someone who has done both, I find I feel really judged for not breastfeeding DS4. No amount of vouchers or support would have made DS4 able to breastfeed although more support would have made it easier when I was breastfeeding my older 3. I hate all this "only a tiny minority of people can't breastfeed" stuff. I'm sick of being told that only x% of mums can't breastfeed or x% of C-sections are unnecessary. Like if I'd tried harder I could have breastfed and had a natural birth.

OHforDUCKScake Tue 12-Nov-13 11:22:53

Ok Im going to say it. I dont believe Pato that your local hospital and cafes are "FILLED with people telling breastfeeding mothers how disgusting they are breastfeeding their child."

Its not really like that. Is it.
___

Btit hurt by your tone there Ducks

You used to announce to the public that you were about to bf?

They probably moved because they thought you expected it from them after the announcement.

I dont tell people, I just do it.

My mum bf my brother until he was 2. He is 22 now and she wasnt frowned upon or told she was disgusting.

Im sorry. I certainly had no intention of being hurtful. I was just being honest though.

bit

freudian typo

Ellie - it's important to flag up that there are cultural and institutional reasons why our bf rates are so low and our c/s rates are so high. It's not the fault of individuals though! It's important to get that across.

"the scheme is targeted at women who wouldn't normally even start breastfeeding, not at those who start and then give up quickly."

well then, in that case I can't imagine why the vouchers would help. The reason why those women wouldn't even start are more to do with the way they view their breasts, the way society views breasts and the fact that they think breast feeding is disgusting. I doubt they even consider the expense of formula, they only realize just how costly it will be once their supply has dried up and there's no way back..

this is why more needs to be done to make Formula the unpopular choice. Formula advertising of all kinds should be banned. Breastfeeding should be promoted as normal and healthy.

I have heard people criticising formula feeders.

I have heard people criticising breast feeding.

Why cant people believe others personal experiences?

Maybe a little poetic licence here and there with the language used but it does happen.

Isnt it ridiculous that mothers get criticised however they feed their babies. But they do.

'You used to announce to the public that you were about to bf?

They probably moved because they thought you expected it from them after the announcement. '

Sorry? I am really not getting this. No, I did not ANNOUNCE to the PUBLIC, FGS someone asked me if I intended to breastfeed. I said yes, and that was her response.

Do you have some sort of preconception of me from other threads, because you seem to be putting a slant on my posts that is unwarranted.

You can disagree all you like elskovs
I have simply described my experience.

And the fact that ppl have gone on the rallies you describe serves to underline the point that it's something that needed challenging.
Protest comes about with a need to challenge a social norm.
Women had to protest vigorously to even get the vote. Because it was considered by so many that they shouldn't have it.

breastfeeding is promoted as normal and healthy even when i was pregnant 21 years ago the hospital clinics and wards had breast is best posters up everywhere forumla isnt advertised anywhere I dont think except the follow on milks I dont think demonising a tin of baby milk is the way forward

Fabulous you know thats why they dont bf do you? Have you lived in a deprived area surrounded by young mums? Or studied it?

Because I assure you, your reasons are NOT why they dont bf.

Well £160 up front to let the dog see the rabbit (ie, let the baby have a go!) might result in some women thinking 'actually this is ok, quite nice actually' and then another few quid a few weeks down the line if they're still going might, just might result in some mums breastfeeding who would never have tried it otherwise. Can this be a bad thing?

My experience was not that dh's relatives were disgusted by it but a bit fascinated in a "creature in a zoo" kind of way. "You are so relaxed about it" was one comment that made me laugh. I pointed out that I'd been doing it 7 times a day for the last 5 months so of course I'm relaxed.

They were nice - but very surprised.

And the discovery that there are special tops for breastfeeding......

and also - can you imagine being the midwife or health visitor who has to suggest the voucher scheme to pregnant women who are already stating clearly that they do not want to breastfeed. Formula feeding mums often complain that they felt enormous pressure from health practitioners and were made to feel guilty. How is this going to help that skewed perception of healthy advice? Surely it's just giving more reason to trot out the 'I was so pressured by my midwife' line.

Right, thats more likely. One person not cafes filled with them?

I do believe other ppl's experience tbh.
But I am surprised by it because of what I see everyday.
I am not disputing anyone's personal accounts. I just find it interesting that our experiences differ so much.