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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get annoyed at parents letting small children control trolleys in supermarkets

163 replies

Xfirefly · 11/11/2013 11:05

the reason I ask is because I was whacked by one yesterday. I'm usually quite chilled out and got a lot of patience but why would people let very small children go wild with trolleys in busy supermarkets?

the mum witnessed the child hitting me and other people (one an elderly man) but continued on without apologising and letting him to it. I did say ouch loud enough to make a point.

am I just being a grumpy sod?

OP posts:

Abra1d · 11/11/2013 16:55

On a less dangerous notethe parent who lets tiny tot placeone by one and very slowly--the tomatoes or apples into the plastic bag for weighing. Oblivious to the queue builds up behind them and nobody can get past. 'No darling, what number comes after eight? Oh, you're so clever!'

eofa1 · 11/11/2013 16:57

Or who lets their adorable child stick their hands in the serve yourself salad bowl things...

Dollslikeyouandme · 11/11/2013 17:00

Yanbu, ds age 4 tries to insist on pushing the trolley, if its not busy then I let him, but with me holding as well so that he doesn't crash.

Dollslikeyouandme · 11/11/2013 17:00

Age 5 was supposed to say

HyvaPaiva · 11/11/2013 17:06

User, your son's autism and arising difficulties have no bearing on this. If someone has to shout 'STOP!' to avoid the trolley-pusher potentially hurting a person, that trolley-pusher shouldn't be doing it. Trolleys are large and heavy and only someone who doesn't need that guidance should push them.

shoofly · 11/11/2013 17:24

Ffs can you all get off usererrors case. She is clearly in control of the trolley when her ds is pushing it, unlike the other cases where kids are running amok without parental control, intervention or apology.

Op YANBU in expecting not to be rammed by out of control trollies And to the poster who challenged one of the feckless parents.

Strumpetron · 11/11/2013 17:25

To be fair shoofly I'm quite sure all the other mum's who let their children do it would say the same as usererror however I do think one too many people have had a go now.

Aarow · 11/11/2013 17:39

Strumpetron no, I'm in the US. for that other woman.

kiriwAnyFuckerwa · 11/11/2013 17:52

Well, he's much less of a risk if he has the trolley Strumpetron. I generally try not to take him at all - believe me, it's not a whole heap of fun taking him but occasionally it's unavoidable.

shoofly · 11/11/2013 17:54

To be fair Strumpetron, most of the people who are letting their kids run out of control with trollies wouldn't say the same as usererror, because they don't say anything. They don't tell their children to stop, they don't apologise and they carry on as before with a scene of bumped and bashed people in their wake!

In any case, I'm sure usererror is perfectly capable of defending her own point of view, but it was beginning to look like a pile of people ganging up for the sake of it.

kiriwAnyFuckerwa · 11/11/2013 17:55

Strumpetron - IME those of us with children with SN are, on the whole, hugely aware of the inconvenience and tutting our children cause to the rest of the world. I find we're generally an awful lot more considerate and less PFB than a lot of parents.

breatheslowly · 11/11/2013 18:31

I was told on a first aid course that it was possible for someone to bleed to death if hit on their varicose veins by a shopping trolley. I'm curious to know whether its true. Not curious enough to let DD wield the trolley though.

Strumpetron · 11/11/2013 18:45

I disagree shoofly, I'm quite sure they'd be saying how 'I'm in control at all times and within x distance' when in fact they aren't.

And I'm not sure why this has turned into a SN issue kiri It's the issue of parents letting their kids push trollies when they really shouldn't, SN or not. I know you say it's easier for you and well I would say do anything if it makes it even a little bit easier to cope with as I understand how distressing shopping outings can be for some children, but from experience, I'd rather be side swiped by a child than rammed into with a trolly.

UserError · 11/11/2013 18:54

I wasn't going to come back to this thread but decided to have a peek (and we all know how that ends). Thanks to all the posters who stuck up for me, but I'm ok and just quietly incredulous at the depth of feeling I seem to have created.

I am laughing very loudly at the thought of going to a supermarket at 3am. I bloody wish I could. I don't drive, so it's impossible. I am a proper night owl, so it would be bliss for me. All that space! No people! Although, the last time I was in a supermarket at that time I was several years younger, very drunk and got stuck in a freezer trying to reach some potato waffles.

I wasn't aware that some of you were categorising shopping trolleys alongside weapons of mass destruction. Maybe we should implement trolley tests before anyone is allowed to take one. You have to prove you can control a dodgem car (the steering on one of those is remarkably similar) before being allowed to take a trolley. Or, we could implement some sort of trolley code. Children only allowed to push trolleys in clothing sections where there is nice padding to stop them.

Strumpetron · 11/11/2013 19:03

I do think the 3am suggestion is frankly ludicrous.

Strumpetron · 11/11/2013 19:05

I wasn't aware that some of you were categorising shopping trolleys alongside weapons of mass destruction. Maybe we should implement trolley tests before anyone is allowed to take one
As for this, it is a large item made from metal that moves and as it does so collects force. In the hands of someone who can't control it properly of course it's going to be dangerous. I think that's proven by the poor woman in this thread who was hurt and lost her baby, and the woman I was in hospital with. There's countless people who get hurt by them so it's hardly isolated incidents.

Strumpetron · 11/11/2013 19:06

*potentially dangerous

eofa1 · 11/11/2013 19:06

I think the idea that a small child can do more damage without a trolley than they can with us the most ludicrous suggestion I've seen on this thread.

UrethraFranklin · 11/11/2013 19:29

Why are posters jumping on User because she has admitted to allowing her DS to push the trolley for a short while?! She's clearly stated she is able to control him. Don't project your anger about other parents onto somebody else FFS User, maybe you should just shop online and stop being such a bother (has that been suggested yet? I just love food with short dates and lots of substitutions)

I can't ever imagine fitting a 3am food shop into my schedule either

Instead of giving parents a look or being passive aggressive, why don't you just confront them instead of coming on here and taking it out on someone else

soupmaker · 11/11/2013 19:44

Bloody hell. User, I'm with you 100%. Honestly some people need to get a grip. Being rammed by a trolley is admittedly sore, but I find the rude, obnoxious grown ups who shove past small children with their trolleys much more unreasonable than the parents who allow pushing while they steer. Yes, you lot in Morrisons, I'm eyeballing you.

kiriwAnyFuckerwa · 11/11/2013 19:48

eofa1 - my son (who is 7, so not that small) can absolutely do more damage without a trolley (when he is running around on his own) than he can with, because I'm holding onto it

As I have said in every single one of my posts in this thread. Perhaps you would care to stand in a supermarket aisle with him on the loose vs him with a trolley (with me holding onto it) to demonstrate the difference?

If we're doing the trolley thing, we're contained. If not, it's a loose trolley + him tearing along, gleefully + me running after him.

Obviously if someone of you would like to go to the shops and collect the items I forgot to get to avoid either scenario, I'd happily take you up on it. I'd also like to shop at 3am without him but I think disappearing off in the middle of the night to shop leaving him asleep on his own in the house is probably not the best idea anyone's had ...

Raddy · 11/11/2013 20:00

YANBU. It's most annoying.

A small child pushed an airport trolley into my ankle and made it bleed. Grrrr. (It was my child btw, but still infuriating)

And on supermarkets, why do entire families do the supermarket shop en masse? I saw a mum, dad, 2 small kids and a baby doing their weeks' shop on Saturday. The kids were fractious, the parents stressed - it looked like torture.

DawnOfTheDee · 11/11/2013 20:13

User Ignore the meanies. I can totally envisage the scenario with you and your DS. Absolutely no problem at all. I'm shocked at people pretty much suggesting you shouldn't be out in the supermarket at all....urgh...what horrible views/posts there are on here.

I do similar with DD but keep hold of the trolley all the time as she's not big enough to control it at all yet.

BabyMummy29 · 11/11/2013 20:20

YANBU

It's usually parents of the "anything for a quiet life" thinking - even though it means their kids banging into and hurting others - that allow them to do it in my experience.

Better to five in and hurt other shoppers than actually discipline their children and say NO to them for once in their lives.

LittlePeaPod · 11/11/2013 20:23

It's a shame the health and safety nuts haven't got hold of this one.... Maybe the could implement a policy of banning all under 14s from pushing trolleys on Health and safety grounds. I may pop that in our supermarkets suggestion box if they have one

I also wonder who would have been liable had I actually fallen (and hurt me and/or my unborn baby) when the out of control trolley pushing child had bashed into me (the child's parents or the supermarket for allowing it to happen).

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