to get annoyed at parents letting small children control trolleys in supermarkets

[Xfirefly]

the reason I ask is because I was whacked by one yesterday. I'm usually quite chilled out and got a lot of patience but why would people let very small children go wild with trolleys in busy supermarkets?

the mum witnessed the child hitting me and other people (one an elderly man) but continued on without apologising and letting him to it. I did say ouch loud enough to make a point.

am I just being a grumpy sod?

YANBU this is a bug bear of mine!

I have been hit once in these circumstances and said 'ouch' loud enough for the parent to hear but received no apology Was bad enough for me but I have to admit when I took my Nan shopping once and it happened to her I did say something to the parent (my nan is clearly elderly and uses a walking stick). Still didn't get an apology but the mum did look horrified.

The other thing I can't stand is those trolleys with the plastic cars on the front. They have them in our local tesco and the parents who use them usually can't control them! Got whacked in the ankle with one once and I'm ashamed to admit I did actually shout at the mum as it hurt so much.

Online shopping is the way forward!

User - So does your DC hit people with the trolley?

yanbu, fine if it's an older child who can control it and the parent is making sure nobody is at risk of being knocked over but no excuse for allowing a child to push the trolley into people. As for not even apologising for allowing their child to hurt others - ffs, some people aren't good enough to breed.

If a child was knocking into everybody in their path I'd have the manager over immediately, it could be very dangerous for an elderly person, pregnant woman, toddler, hemophiliac, someone with brittle bones etc... to be on the receiving end of that.

No, just me. I can see it still annoys some people though, because he comes close until I throw myself in the way or grab on to the trolley. Much easier to take the brunt of it myself than dare to help him steer or grab the trolley as that sets him off too.

I am watching myself slowly turn into one of those posters that go 'Well, actually, THIS could be the reason behind it...' Dammit.

User - They are probably looking annoyed because they are afraid he will hit them or someone vulnerable. I would be worried if I saw you in a supermarket that he would hit an elderly or disabled person. They won't know you that you always makes sure he doesn't do this.

YANBU! Really inconsiderate.

See also parents letting small children ride tricycles/scooters/rollerskates in the aisles, especially in the small narrow spaces of my local supermarket. WTAF? Do they not think other people exist?

It isn't just kids. I man once pushed his trolley into my child and I was livid. He didn't give a shit.

Absolutely. It's a pet hate of mine.

Worst places so far for trolleys supermarkets, B&Q, airports. Almost got taken out at the weekend by a pair of kids whizzing around B&Q on a massive flatbed trolley (it did look like fun...) but I wasn't expecting to round the corner and almost be knocked over.

User have you ever not got there in time? How would you feel if he did hit an elderly person, pregnant woman or toddler etc.? I mentioned earlier that it happened to me and I am 8 months pregnant. I managed to catch myself before falling but if that mother had at least been controlling the trolley it may not have happened.

Nope, never ever not got there in time. I sort of run alongside him for a bit, so I'm always towards the end of the trolley and able to stop him. His fascination with it doesn't last long, maybe five minutes and then I can take over and he stays calm. 60% of the time he'll stop if I firmly say 'STOP' to him, anyway.

I would feel awful if he did hit someone, of course I would. What a daft question. I'd also feel awful if DS went into a meltdown, which involves kicking, hitting, screaming and throwing himself onto the floor regardless of whether he's in the way or not. I get more judgement for those than letting him have the trolley for a bit. It's the lesser of two evils.

Usererror I think an elderly, frail person would rather
he tantrummed than broke their hip.

YANBU. Kids are generally a pain in the arse in supermarkets (well mine are, so are my nieces and me & my brother were too when we were little - obviously I don't know everyone's children so can't speak for all!). Mine have to sit in the trolley seats or in their pushchair, the eldest gets a sweet or a magazine or something if he behaves (he's only two). However we go very very rarely. I online shop and find it so so so much easier.

I didn't mean for the question to sound daft but its only the mother of the child that nearly took me out clearly didn't give a flying hoot. Well until I embarrassed her in front of a load of strangers by pulling her up on it. Not eveyone is as thoughtful.

On a selfish not I would prefer you had control of the trolley and he lost his temper for a while but that's only because the thought of been bashed by a tolley again and maybe falling next time and hurting my unborn DD frightens the life out of me.

User - can't you go shopping at 3am if you feel your ds can't cope without being in charge of the trolley? A trolley is heavy and can harm people.

Backinthering - he would never ever get close enough for that to happen.

I think you are confusing what I've described with someone who lets their child just have the trolley and push it however they want. I don't do that. I am always there by the front of the trolley to grab (which I try not to do but will if needed) or use myself as a physical barrier to stop him. He doesn't build up any sort of speed so if he is on what looks to be a collision course, it's usually because he's not steered it properly and there's plenty of time for me to get in the way or for him to correct the course.

I wish I'd not bloody mentioned it now but I thought I was in chat and not AIBU. I'm not going to justify this any further to anyone, because quite frankly, I was only trying to show a different side to the situation and I think you're all imagining some sort of crazed runaway toddler with a trolley, with me desperately throwing myself in his path, which is NOT the case.

Also, an autistic meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. I suggest you educate yourself a little bit on the differences.

FTR I avoid, wherever possible, taking my kids to the supermarket (online shops, on way home from work etc.) because I don't want to run the gauntlet with them versus members of the public, and to be quite frank, I can do without the stress and judgement of other people.

However, on the odd occasion I have had to take them when it's an absolute necessity, I have had to make the choice between letting them have a go pushing the trolley or a full scale meltdown. The novelty soon wears off and within a few minutes both are begging to go back in the trolley.

I'm not a strict disciplinarian nor am I total pushover but I believe that sometimes (and I'm not talking about getting physically injured) as long as I'm supervising them then letting them try out 'grown up stuff' is not too much of heinous crime.

When I was in hospital in February there was a woman there, pregnant, who'd been hit by a trolly pushed by a child, she got hit quite hard and started bleeding shortly after :(

YANBU at all. People trying to placate their children should think of the effects it can have on others around them.

UserError - it is irrelevant what issues your ds may have. No one should push a trolley around willy nilly. End of.

How weird that I said pretty much the same thing as user but didn't get slated for it

I generally shop online but it's unavoidable going to the supermarket occasionally.

lainiekazan - who do you suggest I leave DS with to go shopping at 3am? Have an overnight babysitter?

Like I said - he's much more likely to smack into you when he's flinging himself down the aisles at 50km/hour than he is pushing the trolley with me holding onto the side.

Like I said - he's much more likely to smack into you when he's flinging himself down the aisles at 50km/hour than he is pushing the trolley with me holding onto the side

So either way there's a risk to other people

Take ds with you at 3am.

I once took the dcs to the supermarket at 1am coming back from somewhere. Bliss.

I just don't understand why people who need extra help go when it is crowded. My pil insisted on going shopping on a Saturday and then complained that they were jostled about and there were long queues.

I miscarried as a dorect result of being hit by a trolley. In my case, it was an unapologetic adult, however.

I don't the see the problem with User -. User is controlling the trolley essentially, and is able to stop collisions, and yet is preventing a meltdown at the same time. It's parents like the child who caused me to lose my baby, who deserve the blame, as their child is running with it or letting their child loose willynilly.

Oh aarow that's awful :( So sorry. You didnt go to Royal Albert did you? I was just thinking because of what I said a few posts ago.

To the poster who said they let their DC push the trolley but always apologised when he/she hit somebody: FFS. I'm sure that would make them feel loads better if they suffered the consequences mentioned above. Sort yourself out.

User I have no issues at all where a parent is obviously aware and in control as you obviously are but its rare. For example the child on the bike in my local store would probably have been out of his mother's view half the time. I don't have an issue with parents who use the trikes with parent handles nor do I have a problem when the parent keeps a hand on the trolley but when they are not even close enough to stop anything or not even watching then it becomes wrong.