To text DHs friend??..

[Worrieddd]

Need some advice ladies.

DH has been out on the piss all day. He rarely goes out, infact probably 5 times a year but when he does he does the whole hog and gets absolutely annihilated. I fucking hate it but bite my tongue. Every time it's the same he goes out, and at some point stops texting or answering his phone.

So this morning he left at 9am - text me at 3ish to say he was in a pub. I haven't heard from him since! I'm so bloody annoyed and worried. The thing is he does this every year, every Remembrance Sunday. Last year he lost all his mates and got kicked out of the bar. The year before I found him wandering the streets absolutely smashed. He's always supposed to ring me to pick him up but never does.

So today I have got so angry at him not answering the phone that I've grabbed my parents house keys (they are on holiday) and come to theirs, it's in another town 50mins away.

I guess it's to teach him a lesson. I want him to get home and wonder where the fuck I am and be worried like I am freaking out about now , I also know that when he finally turns up we will have a massive argument and well I don't want to see him in the state he is going to be in.

However I am also worried sick. What if something has happened to him? I know he's got form but what if one time something has happened? argh, shall I text his mate and ask if they're all together? I don't know what to do. One part of me is just to sod it and leave him to fester and when he gets home will be wondering where I am??

Help

[flowery]

x-posts Rockinhippy

[PacificDogwood]

Oh. Goodness, I am so sorry for your loss, Worriedd . I had read back all your posts but missed you mentioning your LO. My apologies and condonlences.

Oh, I understand about drinking culture and I appreciate that 5x/year may seem tame compared to others. Still too often and too much for my liking.

[Meh84]

'Life is so nice when you don't have to live with a disgusting drunken lout'

Lucky you.

Have you ever thought that the reason he may be doing this is depression, PTS or something similar?

No?

[Backinthering]

Doesn't make it any more pleasant to live with.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Does that mean she should STFU about it ?

[MinesAPintOfTea]

No it would mean that she should help and encourage him to get professional help. But it seems relevant when she says is a reaction to remembrance Sunday. People self-mediating with alcohol isn't exactly an unheard of concept.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Yes, of course, Tea

That sentiment doesn't seem to be where meh is coming from though. A narky post which helps the Op not a jot...most unhelpful.

[GoshAnneGorilla]

Rockinhippy is right. This level of drinking among army is not some new thing related to current deployments, it is the general culture and I speak as someone who grew up in an army family during the days of (generally) cushy postings.

Soldiers are just people like the rest of us, not saintly beings and theirs is a job with a very ingrained and often very destructive drinking culture, quite like a few other professions I can think of.

Not being able to stop drinking once you start, even if you never drink in between is still problem drinking.

Drinking until you lose control of your bodily faculties - still problem drinking.

I have no idea why some people are so keen to make excuses for such dodgy behaviour.

[Bunbaker]

Quite GoshAnne. I am not a control freak, but I know when I have drunk enough alcohol. I have an off switch.