to want to go back to the time when men were REAL men...

[ElizabethBathory]

women were REAL women...

and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

"...he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it"

“you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.”

There is no concrete proof that all this isn't just a dream.

Run for the hills.
What hill? You mean that rather nice one with all the daffodils?
Damn the daffodils the whole hills gone.

I only happen to be Hig Hurtenflurst, I only happen to be the risingest young executive in the Doimansaxil Shoe Corperation, I only happen to have masterminded the entire rationalisation of this planet to total shoe orriantation, I only happen to be sitting on top of the biggest development deal in the entire history of footwear and I only happen to be very deeply disturbed at finding my planet riddled with subversives bent on undernmining the whole structure of the Dolmansaxil operation and thus the very economic future of the galaxy itself, and I only happen to think that I would be very well advised to have both of you wierdos and the other two chicks revoked on the spot, does that answer your question?

I can't remember what I asked you now.

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.

Zootlewordle Zoortlewordle Zootleworld

Hay who do you think you are honey, Zaphod Beeblebrox or something?
Count the heads.

Oh dear, I hadn't thought of that
< promptly vanishes in a puff of logic>

Arthur Dent?
Arthur Philip Dent?
You're a jerk.A complete arsehole.

Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper

Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?

The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Telephone sanitisers!

Many people of course became extremely rich but this was all very well and nothing to be ashamed of because no-one was really poor, at least, no-one worth speaking of.

I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third... There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.

Why stop now,just when I'm hating it?

I can't stop coming back to this thread. I need to put a SEP field around it.

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

DIDCOT (n.)
The tiny oddly-shaped bit of card which a ticket inspector cuts out of a ticket with his clipper for no apparent reason. It is a little-known fact that the confetti at Princess Margaret's wedding was made up of thousands of didcots collected by inspectors on the Royal Train.

(Meaning of Liff)

Is there any tea on this spaceship?

I could really use a wish right now

I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is