to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

it was my (whispers) maternity nurse who made me. Said a baby looked like it was neglected if the babygrows weren't ironed. And since she was right about absolutely everything else, I believed her. I think she was used to households where someone else did the ironing tho'

Having babies does strange things to your mind. I wasn't properly myself again until 2006... when I stopped ironing completely.

Me too. In fact, I ironed DD's muslins

but do you cook her separate meals to order, Poppy? (I fear we've derailed)

Why wouldn't she cook something for herself is she's being such a fusspot?

I ironed everything of DDs. I had a bath thermometer, 2 room thermometers, I never went out of the house without a fully packed bag, a change of clothes, cotton wool, nappies, antiseptic cream I don't know why

She always had on the correct amount of layers and a hat.

By the time I got to ds2, I ironed nothing, slung a nappy in my handbag and assumed he would complain if he was too hot or too cold.

I only have one DC we're having tuna pasta bake tonight. He doesn't like Tuna. Expecting SS at the door any minute.

I guess it was inevitable this thread would descend into a weird form of competitive parenting. More children = better more laid parent, is that where we are now?

For the record, I thinks people's relationship with food is not influenced by the number of children they have. Parents will inflict their version of appropriate mealtimes on their kids, regardless of the number.

In my case, I am laid back about food & don't expect people to eat what the don't like - and that hasn't changed with becoming a parent or increasing my family.

What competitive parenting? Ffs

Only started out as pointing out that one child of 4 doesn't make anyone an expert.

In fact 5 children of any age doesn't make anyone an expert.

Youthecat I had rather gained the impression that Toys opinion was being belittled and patronised on the basis she had less children than some of the other posters. You appear to think otherwise. Interesting how perceptions of the same posts can differ.

Toys can stand up for herself.

She did plenty of patronising towards the OP.

I am sure she can. But nonetheless, I find the 'lets trill with laughter at the silly mummies with one child' posts quite teeth grating. Who knows why people have families of the size they have? Do we have to put parents down because they have less children than us? It is inaccurate and unkind, whoever it is aimed at.

No one has said she is silly.

She seems like an intelligent person. But proclaiming yourself as some kind of expert when your experience is limited is going to make people roll their eyes.

We are all only experts concerning our own children.

Ithaka- quite!

ithaka not that she had fewer children in itself. Just that she appeared to have far more free time (perhaps as she only had one child) and therefore was recommending a way of life which many others would find impracticable. And yes, to be fair, that people who have just one young child can get a bit precious about things. As the posts from others make clear. We can all laugh at ourselves later on.

Her take was (I hope I am summarising it fairly) that not offering alternative meals was wrong because it taught your child that his opinions were not valued. Now, those of us who are further down the track would say, not every single family decision that is taken gives that message. You can involve and respect your child perfectly well without having to make multiple evening meals. Having just one, very young child means the poster can, if she chooses, run the family that way. But it is unreasonable to be so dogmatic that anyone else who has excellent reasons to be a bit more pragmatic, is necessarily walking all over their DC.

and by "later on" I mean- when the only child gets older, not necessarily when/if people have second or third DC.

This is an early parenting point, not a size of family point.

"but do you cook her separate meals to order, Poppy? (I fear we've derailed)"

Leopoldina, after my rather staunch views on the matter up thread, I feel I shouldn't say much more about catering-mums.

And, I don't think the laughter was meant to be cruel ithaka ?

I am sure that wasn't the intention, but actually it could be hurtful. Not everyone has the family they wanted or planned for, so it does not hurt to think a bit before you laugh at people because they have less children than you.

I'll say it again- it's not about having fewer children. It's about having very young child(ren) and loads of spare time, and being dogmatic that your way is the only way.

I can see it touched a nerve in you personally which is always the risk with the internet, but it was fair comment based on her posts.