to think that it is not normal for 14 year olds to be sexually active?

[landrover]

Reading an earlier thread, one poster said that it is generally accepted that 14 to 15 year olds were sexually active!
Do you think that this is true? I am curious because I have a ten year old daughter, I need to know when I start worrying!

MrsO

I will try to get som elinks for you.

Essentaially it's beleievd that early penetrative sex can cause trama to the cervix. Also early infection from HPV is more likely to lead to cervical cancer.

I work in a secondary school. I would say about 1/2 are sexually active at 14-15. Most are at 16

I was just a couple months short of my 14th birthday when I first had sexual intercourse. I was more than ready and have never regretted it. I was a mature young girl, I knew what I was doing and I was responsible.

Read the other day, in the Times, that the average age to have sex is around 17.

No need for panic stations.

It has not changed all that much in the past 20 years. Though everyone knows of a person who had sex very young, but not really the norm.

I had sex for the first time at 14 with an older man, its makrs me shudder now but at the time I felt so grown up, I will be telling my girls all about it in the hope they dont do the same! I found it easier to to whatever I liked as my parents did not care where I was or what I was doing I will not be the same

I agree it's not a way I'd put it to actual teenagers the body, because it sounds like those creepy silver ring people, and has an undercurrent of slut-shaming - it was just an eye catching and accurate phrase that leapt to mind while typing in a hurry. I just think it's important for teenagers who are hearing messages that they're all at it to know that actually , they're not.

Oh god that was meant to say a couple months short of my 15th birthday!

From what I remember, the boys were a lot more immature and slower to have sex at that age but all pretended they had.

Most of the girls had older boyfriends (not wildly, a school year of two) and almost all of my friendship group were academically bright, from good families, had strict parents (me definitely so) and went onto university, good jobs etc with no shocking teenage pregnancies or outlandish promiscuity that I'm aware of. We weren't the "girls you'd expect" as somebody said upthread [feeling slutshamed for my randy teenage self]. We were just curious and definitely had sexual feelings at that age and we wanted to do it. I remember wanting to see what it was like.

However, I don't think at that age you are old enough to deal with the risks of pregnancy, STIs etc should the worst happen and that's what my fear would be for my sons when they are older. I would hope that they wait.

My mother and father were 'strict' because boyfriends as a young teen were discouraged, sleepovers with the opposite sex banned and no male friends could sleep over. Same rules applied to my brothers. I was in my 20's when I lost my virginity to the man I am now married to. So glad I waited. I had a 'boyfriend' when I was 16 but he put a lot of pressure on me to sleep with him and I hated the feeling of coercion and powerlessness. Thankfully understood the word no, but he did dump me for being frigid.

The youngest in my group of friends was 18. I studied at a school briefly in the UK and I remember a girl of 14 had a baby. I did ask my school friends whether this was a normal thing in the UK and they said no. I got the sense that there was a lot of shock that she had actually done IT.

15 for me. A lot of my year group probably sold around the same, a very small few possibly younger. This was late 70s

So far as my son, I honestly don't know, other than his same age girlfriend was staying over in his room aged 17.

In Europe the age of consent is 14 in fourteen countries and 15 in thirteen countries and 13 in Spain.
Emotional maturity is another issue entirely but if physically mature from 14+ periods, bust, hair etc then it is something to bear in mind and have an open conversation about - safe sex, permissible touching, feelings, masturbation, unwanted pregnancy etc
I was sexually active at 15 but did not lose my virginity til 16.
I would have a talk covering all the above if you have not already - followed Holland's example and did all this when mine was much younger but they had it all repeated at 10 because of it being legal where i am at 14...DH is now putting his fingers in his ears going la la la as the idea of his little girl not being little anymore.

Would add that despite being sexually active at 15, first and only pregnancy was at 31.

Anyfucker not slutshaming. The reasons I was not suprised to learn which few girls were sexually active underage, is because they have been alloweed/encouraged to grow up far too soon, with little regard for their happiness or health.

By permissible touching i mean that your DD knows it is her body and she says who and she says when. Our primary teacher did an excellent lesson on this covering essentially feelings, peer pressure, not being ashamed of sexual feelings or orientation but respect for self and others and being assertive, telling someone if ever uncomfortable.

I was certainly doing things at 13 that I would not be AT ALL happy about my dd doing and we are only a couple of years off that. I hope that she has benefited from a more open relationship with me, and also that she has greater self esteem.

I no... I was 18 ... Most of my friends they were sexually active in high school....

my friend had her 14 year old son at the doctors the other day and the doctor said they now have to ask anyone over the age of 13 if they need an std test

I think its wrong personally.

Define "sexually active". We definitely had hands down each other's pants at 14/15. I had penetrative sex for the first time at 16. I fell in love at 17 and would say that was my first adult sexual relationship.

I was sexually active at 14/15.
I have had perfectly healthy relationships and don't regret a thing.
We were sensible, and as long as DS is sensible I won't have a problem with it.

I think 14 or often earlier is when people start wanting to be sexually active so for some its normal. If those feelings don't kick in until later then its obviously not normal for them. I'm sceptical about the idea of it being 17 but I wouldn't say every teen is at it before they leave school.

I had sex at 13, I don't regret it. It was what it was. I enjoyed it and wanted to do it.

I did smirk at the idea of needing somewhere comfortable. Against a wall or lying on a coat was always comfortable enough! Also most 14 year olds get a few hours alone at home or they know a friend who does. Its one of the reasons I quickly became interested in older boys; cars, beds and a lift home after.

I've known which of my DC are sexually active and from when, thankfully we're open about it (and they all tell me about each other anyway!), the ages so far have been 14, 15 and again 14, my DS3 has just recently had sex which I was a bit surprised by but he seemed happy in his choice.

not in this country.

some will be active, most will be lying.

any who are will be breaking the law.

teach your daughter all the facts and that 'no' is a complete sentence.

IME it is normal, but not the norm.

It also seems to be socially linked - having worked in a number of contraception and sexual health clinics in my county the demographics vary hugely between areas. I would see far more under 16s for contraception in some clinics than others.

IME those younger teens that ARE sexually active are also far more indiscriminate and umm, 'adventurous' than their peers that start sexual activity later. Worryingly I have seen a rise in sexual activity such as anal sex, group sex and risky sex in younger people than I used to.