to think that it is not normal for 14 year olds to be sexually active?

[landrover]

Reading an earlier thread, one poster said that it is generally accepted that 14 to 15 year olds were sexually active!
Do you think that this is true? I am curious because I have a ten year old daughter, I need to know when I start worrying!

i was at 14, sadly. i was in no way ready and it was horrible but i felt i "had to"

and so were most of my friends (mid 90's)

in fact 2 had abortions before their 15th birthdays :(

i think it will be worse when my dcs are that age as well because of fb and twitter etc and the pressure from internet porn etc

I was a 15, boyf at the time lost his at 12! When I think.about this I feel sick. I have a dd and in 12 years time ill be where you are on eBay purchasing a chastity belt

I don't think its normal to be sexually active at 12,13,14,15. Sexually interested fine, but not active. I remember feeling like an adult at 15 so thinking having sex was normal and fine, I look back now thinking that I was very wrong.

I think it's very influenced by environment and availability of partners.

Most 14 year olds don't have somewhere comfortable to have sex for one thing. They can't even drive. I went to an all girl's school an hour's bus journey from home. I know times have changed, but even now I suspect the logistics of finding a partner and a place to do the deed would defeat their current pupils.

It's not that unusual. By the time we were 16 I reckon 1/3 of the girls in my year were having sex. I never saw it as a problem as they were all in relationships and were using contraception. Hurrah for the just seventeen problem page informing us all.

No statistically it's not normal.

The average is 17.

Socio econoic factors also play a part. The poorer a child, the more likely they are to become sexually active early.

14/15 is against the law for good reason. For a start there are links between cervical cancers and early penetrative sex.

I asked DD if many of her peers are sexually active and she rolled her eyes at me. Only the ones you'd expect, apparantly!

I don't think that it's the norm, either.

Neither of my teens are (15 & 17) & most of their freinds aren't.

Not at all usual here.

Is there more pressure in UK?

I'm nearly 50 & very few were when I was at school.

And that's not to mention the ones who pretended to be!

listening to my 3 dds discussing people at school a lot start at 12 onwards , not all full sex , blowies , hand jobs, etc.

18 for me and DH. No way was I mature enough before then, and to be honest I wasn't terribly mature at 18!

I wonder how many are because they feel pressured into it, and aren't really enjoying it, it's just what you have to do. I do think you would have to be a very mature 14-year-old, and most aren't.

"Only the ones you'd expect, apparantly!"

That's what my daughter says word.

Same as was said when I was that age!

Didn't need to be comfortable boyfriends coat on the field was fine haha

I was 14, and frankly I was just plain horny! There is no 'normal' the key thing is to try and work on the fact that you should only be sexually active if you want to be and feel ready to be and preferably with so done who respects you.

Depends what you class as sexually active I guess.

I would be surprised in all honesty if 14 year olds weren't experiencing some sort of sexual behaviour - mutual masturbation at the very least. When i was at school in my group of friends (around 20) i think about a third were having full sex at 14/15?

Well, I was going to reply but instead i'm fitting a lock on my teenager's door - it bloody well better not be normal!

I was 13 and I was way too young I had major daddy issues and thought having sex with blokes in their early twenties would make them love me.

I'm just going to try my best to make sure my dd feels loved and feels secure and has the confidence to say no.

When my DD told me the names of the girls who were sexually active, I was not remotely suprised.

These are the girls who have been allowed facebook, make up, heels and boyfriends from 11/12. Who were allowed to go to parties with alcohol at 13/14.

They've been encouraged and facilitated by their parents from the get-go.

They have low aspirations and low self esteem from what I can tell.

Mutual masturbation eeeeuck! (and Muff, you're such a tart!!!! )

I was sexually active at 14 (I lost my virginity the week before my 15th birthday.)

For me it was a positive experience, I had very open parents and I was in a loving relationship.

My periods started at 11, I definatly felt sexually ready by the age of 13/14. I'm not sure if the extra year or two would make much difference, some 14 year olds will be emotionally, physically and mentally ready to have sex, some 18 year olds won't. people are all different, I hear this so often, babies learn to walk at different ages, some children can be left at 9, some can't be left at 12, some children can speak sentances just after they turn 1, some children don't speak in sentances untill they are 3. I don't see why sexual maturity is any different.

I have had very few sexual partners despite my "early start" I think if you teach your children to respect themselves and respect their partner/friends and teach them that they can say no and that their opinion is very valid then you can trust them to do what is right for them and their partner.

It depends by what you mean by 'normal'.

Would that be the average age?

Or would it be the most common age?

Also, what does 'sexually active' mean?

Does it mean they have had intercourse? Have touched genitals? Mutual masturbation?

Too vague an OP.

Are there links to where this statement has come from?

I lost my virginity at 16, but I was doing the rest of it from 14 - and in my school I felt a late starter!

won't be ready

14 is very young but I recall peers at school being in 'relationships' at this stage. Several girls were pregnant at 15/16.

I was a very young 14, interested in boys but not at all ready for anything more than a kiss. There was a type of girl at school that the boys knew they could take advantage of. Looking back they were probably just trying to fit in.

Oh. My. God! Ebay do actually sell chastity belts!

www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR1.TRC0.A0.XChastity+belt&_nkw=Chastity+belt&_sacat=0&_from=R40

The statement was from another thread, and Im sure was only a guess from another poster! (who im not going to "out" as it were).
Its interesting all the different thoughts though, thankyou all! (Off to tell my daughter that all boys smell!!!!!)

Ye gods, Curious, a male chastity belt on ebay, that was a bit of a shock!!!!