Who WBU? Mortifying train incident.

[MikeReepySpooksard]

Ds, 15 months, has an unfortunate hair pulling habit. Today on the train he got hold of the hair of the teenage girl sitting in the seat behind his and yanked it. She screamed 'get the fuck off me' and glared at him. She kept turning round and glaring at him the rest of the journey.

I'm on my own here!

I agree puupymonkey I thought it would at least involve the opening of the toilet doors whilst OP was on the pot!

This has happened to me, although not on a train and it took all my strength not to swear in pain. I said Ouch as I looked at the little boy, he said nothing. His dad said nothing. Dad should have apologised. I hope you apologised to the teenage girl. No she shouldn't have used such language but hard not to when you're in unexpected pain.

Your DH almost certainly has the luxury of never having to consider how he would react and if necessary defend himself if he were grabbed from behind by the hair. Which is not an unusual way of being assaulted. Her reaction was assertive and justified.

She probably thought it was your DH and that's why she was giving him dirty looks - he should have explained it was the toddler and apologised.

BearBehind, yeah, while she was wiping her bum!

Ok then, she continued to glare due as she was waiting fir an apology.

Your DH was too scared of a teenage girl to apologise for his child hurting her ...?

I don't approve of her language but most teens seem to say Fuck these days when they mean 'very' or something.

But honestly- you ought to teach your DS not to pull hair- anyones. Because this is what happens if they aren't taught it's wrong and the adult they are with is not able to stop them in time.

Me too Gobby DD2 (13) is the only one of mine that I really worry about. DD1 (17) is assertive enough to deal with situations and DD3 (6) is absolutely going to be that 13 year old who shouts get the fuck off me on trains

Chipped I didn't call her a knob you knob I said IF she had blown her top as a reaction to dh apologising then she WOULD have been being a knob (at that point), but he should've apologised anyway, and let her be the one to decide whether or not to be a knob about it. His not apologising robbed her of her opportunity to either be a knob or be the bigger person about it.

Sorry if that wasn't clear but no I certainly wasn't calling her a knob.

I would be livid if a baby pulled my hair. Not sure I'd have sworn at a baby, but I would have been so beyond angry with you as it's mother.

yabu, she is young, it was a fright. I would hve apologised on behalf of my child and made sure that they realised that you must not do that to people. How else will children learn

I agree puupymonkey I thought it would at least involve the opening of the toilet doors whilst OP was on the pot!

Agreed, this would have been much better

I bet the girl is telling this story as "some creepy bloke pulled my hair on the train, when I turned round he just ignored me and acted like it was his kid".

There's just too many variables here. From the OP I got the impression the teenager was aware it was a toddler rather than an adult potential attacker.

Also, for those of you wondering if it was your 13yo - I would've thought she was maybe 17-19 or 20. Too old for just 'girl', possibly too young for 'woman', that's the only reason I described her as a teenager.

One last question OP, if you were in the loo at the time of the mortifying incident, didn't you wonder why she kept glaring at your DS for the rest of the journey?
I would have asked whispered to DH WTF was her problem.

His not apologising robbed her of her opportunity to either be a knob or be the bigger person about it.

Oh FFS, how far up yourselves are you and your husband? This wasn't a learning opportunity for a girl who had been assaulted to be magnanimous. It was a learning opportunity for you and your husband to not be useless parents who indulge a badly behaved child whom you can't control. It wasn't her fault. She was minding her own business. The whole event if you and your husband's problem for (a) not controlling your child and (b) not apologising like any decent people would do. Now you're going on about how she could "be the bigger person". You and your husband could have apologised. You didn't. She's already the bigger person.

Mike, being a mum and step-mum to many DCs, I would say your husband needs to start being able to apologise for the behaviour of your DS or you'll end up with no friends! Most people understand that kids can be little sods at times, but if the parents don't deal with it/apologise it becomes an issue.

"You and your husband could have apologised. You didn't. She's already the bigger person."

This.

What Friday said.

Hell yeah, friday.

She was probably in pain and worried that she'd just lost a handful of hair extensions.

She shouldn't have sworn, in an ideal world. But I think that your family's hair-pulling and non-apology outweigh her language.

You and your husband are completely unreasonable. You should have stopped this before it even happened and you should have apologised profusely to the girl.

As for her swearing, I expect she was taken aback and it was instinctive reaction. She wasn't swearing at your child ,she was reacting to what happened. And as you didn't apologise to her, why should she apologise for swearing?

You laugh bearbehind, it happened to me once. And it was much more embarrassing cos I was 'forrin'. The driver came racing down the carriage angrily, turned some sort of key in the toilet and then we were back on our way with him screaming at me in front of the other passengers 'that's a 90 second delay and the fine is £180'. I was planning to say 'no entiendo, no tengo dinero, lo siento mucho, no hablo inglés'. When we got of the train I put my hood up, let my hair down, put my sunglasses on, swapped ruck sacks with my friend who was laughing at my nervous. All the passengers on the train were wishing me good luck dodging the fine !