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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who WBU? Mortifying train incident.

420 replies

MikeReepySpooksard · 03/11/2013 17:18

Ds, 15 months, has an unfortunate hair pulling habit. Today on the train he got hold of the hair of the teenage girl sitting in the seat behind his and yanked it. She screamed 'get the fuck off me' and glared at him. She kept turning round and glaring at him the rest of the journey.

OP posts:
LEMisafucker · 03/11/2013 17:29

I probably would have lamped her one if she swore at my child like that

MammaTJ · 03/11/2013 17:30

Did she realise it was a baby sitting behind her and grabbing her hair? She probably reacted in instinct, I am sure my reaction to being grabbed out of the blue would be similar (though she should have apologised as soon as she realised)

This, with the added comment that a teenage girl would not have the grace and ability to correct her error, so acted with bravado of a teen and kept up the glaring.

Do make sure your wonderful DS is not able to do this to anyone again though.

Mckayz · 03/11/2013 17:30

You were being unreasonable. You should be making sure he can't reach to pull anyone's hair.

friday16 · 03/11/2013 17:30

Ds, 15 months, has an unfortunate hair pulling habit.

It's always annoying to see useless parents who won't do anything to control their children, and just smile indulgently.

ihearsounds · 03/11/2013 17:30

Don't really know that many people who wouldn't react to suddenly having their hair pulled from behind.
Don't know that many people who wouldn't keep looking behind them to ensure it didn't happen again.
So she wnbu.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/11/2013 17:30

LEM what would you do if an adult man yanked your hair on the train? Because maybe the girl swore before she knew who it was....

Moxiegirl · 03/11/2013 17:31

If you know he has a hair pulling habit you need to watch like a hawk!
How embarrassing! X
Teenage girls are so dramatic though Grin

Remotecontrolduck · 03/11/2013 17:31

The girl probably panicked, I would too to be honest. I would have apologised for swearing at the baby though! She may have been too shy and embarrassed for shouting though so kept quiet.

If you know your DS has a habit of pulling hair you need to be on your guard at all times in public areas such as the train or the bus, yes he can't understand how bad it is but hair pulling is horrible and you can't allow it to happen.

mawbroon · 03/11/2013 17:31

What ubik said.

Aquilla · 03/11/2013 17:32

You poor thing! The girl sounds horrible. I can understand her getting a shock but what kind of person continues to react in such an aggressive way to a BABY? She could run into real trouble later on if she approaches other situations like this Hmm

FloresCircumdati · 03/11/2013 17:32

That's very painful, and I wouldn't be too quick to criticise a teenager for telling a stranger to get off them when assaulted.

reelingintheyears · 03/11/2013 17:33

I probably would have lamped her one if she swore at my child like that

Well of course you wouldn't, you'd have been arrested if you had.

You would have been upset, as i'm sure she was when her hair was yanked while she was sitting minding her own business.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/11/2013 17:33

This reminds me of a mortifying incident from school.

I was walking up a staircase between class periods and someone behind me yanked my ponytail. I gasped "What the fuck?!" Thinking it was some big kid or bully.

It was my head of year Blush

IMO it is a totally understandable way to react. My teacher was thankfully grown up enough to apologise for startling me....

Loopyloulu · 03/11/2013 17:33

He's 15 months and got hold of someone's hair who was sitting behind him.

So that means he must have been standing up and facing backwards- he wouldn't be able to reach over the back of the seat if he was sitting down.

So here we have a child who is allowed to stand on train seats ( they do have notices saying keep your feet off the seats.) or maybe he was sitting on your lap and has very long arms.

In either case you are the adult and should make sure he doesn't grab people's hair.

When I am on a train I get really annoyed if kids kick the back of my seat( from behind), stand on seats and lean over the back of mine, and generally behave in an inconsiderate manner.

But it's the parents I blame.

expatinscotland · 03/11/2013 17:34

And this was mortifying? You have a very sheltered life.

Laming someone is assault. That's a criminal offence sine thugs don't know how to behave.

YABU.

reelingintheyears · 03/11/2013 17:34

And she was probably glowering at you OP for not supervising and because she was jumpy thinking it might happen again.

HaroldLloyd · 03/11/2013 17:34

My toddler could have reached out like lightening and done it so I think a lot of you are being very harsh!

I would if it happened to me be really apologetic etc but its awkward when someone has shouted fuck off at you before you have the chance.

It is in no way acceptable to shout get the fuck off my hair to a small toddler.

And where did OP say she though it was cute??

gobbynorthernbird · 03/11/2013 17:35

The girl sounds horrible? To me the parent who allows their precious darling to cause physical pain to complete strangers sounds horrible.
And maybe the girl just kept looking round to make sure she wasn't hurt again. Some of just tend to have a resting bitch face.

Lizzabadger · 03/11/2013 17:35

You should have controlled your child.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/11/2013 17:35

I would react in exactly the same way, I would act as if I was being attacked

Only once I'd seen it was a child would I calm down and move.

Until then you'd get my basic instinct - to draw attention to the fact I was being attacked, and to react aggressively to a threat.

HaroldLloyd · 03/11/2013 17:36

I think there is a whole load of projection and assumptions about this woman's parenting going on here.

thistlelicker · 03/11/2013 17:38

Op. Do u think its unreasonable to be on a Train and have "somebody" pull your hair?? How exactly would u have reacted???

insancerre · 03/11/2013 17:38

you know how toddlers cannot regulate their behaviour and are prone to tantrums?
you know they act instinctively without thinking?
well, guess what? so do teenagers
especially teenage girls who are 95% hormones and not in control of what they say and do, most of the time
the poor girl was probably really embarrassed

gobbynorthernbird · 03/11/2013 17:39

Harold if the OP said 'I apologised profusely, but she kept glaring' I might think differently about the parenting.

HaroldLloyd · 03/11/2013 17:40

Yeah so embarrassed she gave him dirty looks for the rest of the journey. Hmm.