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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if your child is scared of dogs you should encourage them not to scre and wail if my dog is 300 ft away...

468 replies

Beccadugs · 30/10/2013 21:50

Walking my dog today, she was of lead, about 10ft ahea of me waiting for me to chuck the ball. A child cycled towards us, saw my dog (who is half toy poodle so tiny) and started screaming. My dog just looked at her and then carried on our walk, if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead. However, when she was a puppy and less well trained this screaming was an invitation (in her mind) to investigate.

While I accept that some children are scared of dogs, and that is fine. I would have thought that if there is a dog in the general vicinity encouraging your DC not to scream is probably for the best when the dog is ignoring you completely. AIBU, we all want to use the local facilities happily.

OP posts:
DiseasesOfTheSheep · 31/10/2013 00:37

I'm sure you are very encouraging - I'm only being pedantic and mocking Wink sometimes you'd need to be superhuman to make them understand!

And yep, was slightly puzzled there for a second but very good Grin

LoisWilkerson1 · 31/10/2013 00:37

arrgh! of course I tell my kids not to scream but that doesn't mean they won't! Dogs should be on a lead in public. Full stop! YABU!

BeCoolFucker · 31/10/2013 00:37

disease you aren't dim. I made HRWT up. Hoping it will catch on but sadly it hasn't. Yet.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 31/10/2013 00:40

Lol good to know - thought I'd been living with my head in the sand oblivious to all the hip new abbreviations there!

Brokensoul · 31/10/2013 00:43

Pombears you are spot on

Brokensoul · 31/10/2013 00:44

Dogs= animals
Children= us

YesterdayI · 31/10/2013 00:52

I would prefer dogs to be on a lead at all times unless in a designated dog walking area and I would like there to be lots more designated dog walking areas.
I do a lot of outdoor exercise and can't stand dogs coming up to me to sniff and slobber on me. I don't care that they 'are just being friendly'. I don't slobber on strangers and I don't won't anything slobbering on me.

Obviously most dogs are lovely but I can't tell which ones are the bad ones from looking at them. I definitely don't scream.

Rockinhippy · 31/10/2013 01:03

Don't be so bloody ridiculous - why should a non dog owner actually know that is how your dog or any dog would react to a screaming child it's not a parents responsibility to second guess your dog & train DCs to react apropriately to your pet - it's your responsibility to keep your dog under control & it's not under control if its off its leadHmm - that's how it works as mentioned above

My own DD when younger would have wailed in fear too, not much I could have done to stop it as just like you say your dog naturally reacts with curiosity to the noise - a DC naturally reacts to fear by screaming - so maybe you need to get your head out of your arse & if you don't like it & won't keep your dog on a lead, do as my responsible dog iwning friend did & walk your precious pooch at a time when no kids are around

DDs fear of dogs was born out of owner with an attitude like your own - not only did the small yappy dog suddenly fly up & bite DD - who was nowhere near it & doing nothing wrong other than getting attention of its owner - she then got told off by the owner as "it must if been her fault, my sweety doesn't bite"Hmm - thankfully I reacted quickly enough to grab DD & it missed biting her face, but it did catch her arm - before that she loved dogs & had been taught to respect them & ask first - funny that lady thought her dog was small & sweet & fine off a lead too Hmm

DD spent a couple of years terrified of dogs as a result - only cured when she realised our friends much bigger dog was petrified if fireworks outside & she chose to override her fear to comfort him

YABVU

TSSDNCOP · 31/10/2013 01:25

What every parent wants: an hysterical screaming child Hmm

Despite liking dogs myself I am becoming increasingly in favour of an all-leash policy.

I walked a friends dog recently, on a lead because he is valuable and I'm uncertain of how his recall would be or his reaction to other dogs.

A bouncy, unleashed dog leapt on him from behind a bush. He was very unamused and snarled. Unleashed dogs owner ripped into me saying my dog should be leashed, then realised he was, so ranted he should be muzzled.

She simply couldn't see it was her unleashed, uncontrolled dog that caused the trouble.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 31/10/2013 01:26

So exactly how did the parents encourage this if they were nowhere to be seen?

WooWooOwl · 31/10/2013 01:32

Some bizarre responses on this thread.

My dog will not be on a lead in our local park, and neither he nor I will give a teeny tiny shit if a child screams near us.

AveryJessup · 31/10/2013 01:33

How exactly would you expect the kid's parents to encourage him / her not to scream? Kids aren't trained like dogs you know. They don't follow instructions like sitting up, rolling over and not barking screaming in exchange for doggie biscuits.

And as for that old chestnut 'if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead', I had to laugh. Every single dog-owner I have ever encountered tells me that their dog is wonderful with kids and would never hurt a fly and isn't the type to bother me etc etc. Very easily said for the owner, not so easily observed or known by strangers, especially children, encountering a dog for the first time.

Rockinhippy · 31/10/2013 01:43

WooWoo the big difference is that you are not complaining about a DC screaming in fear because it's spotted your unleashed dog & expecting parents to control said DC - which the OP is

Got to say that within reason I do agree with TSS though - I was sat outside a cafe the other week with friends & one of my friends dog - he was leashed as he always unless its early/late & no chance of other dogs around - a couple walking past had their own dog off its leash & it ran straight in to nuzzle my friends dog - thankfully my friend spotted it & grabbed him- the passing dogs owners didn't even notice that their do was about to have his head ripped off as my friends dog has had a difficult past & though a softy with DCs etc etc, won't chase after anything, but doesn't get on with other dogs at all if they invade his space my - friend was being responsible - they others dogs owners weren't

intitgrand · 31/10/2013 01:55

my db was bitten by a dog whilst out running only last week .the hospital automatically notify the police .the owners ? He has never done anything like this before ? Well no ,he is ao animal and therefore unpredictable

DinosaurTooScary · 31/10/2013 04:12

YABVU!

I am fed up of taking my daughter to the children's play area in the park and having numerous dogs jump up at us before we get into the fenced off children's bit.

I've brought my little one up to like dogs, so she doesn't panic....but neither she nor I like being covered in dog slobber, and she REALLY doesn't like getting pushed over by the "big doggy".

I know two people, who had perfectly well-trained dogs, that could be let off the leash as they were "never bothered by children or other dogs". They didn't run at people, or jump up or bite. Both had to be put down after years and years......one bit a young girl out of the blue, and the other one spontaneously ate a goat!

Put them on a lead or bog off and walk them elsewhere. And get ALL the poo off the grass, not just the chunkiest bits.

Lweji · 31/10/2013 06:39

Dogs= animals
Children= us

(just to point out that us are animals too - biologist here :) )

More like:
Children = our species, our loved ones
Dogs = another species that some people in our species keep as pets, but have much less rights in law than us (particularly our children)

Lweji · 31/10/2013 06:43

It is also well known that little dogs can be more vicious than larger dogs.

My neighbour has a smallish dog that he says bites. He is very careful about it and so he should be.

If there are children around, dogs should be on a lead. There are those that extend, so they can still have a good run and catch balls, you know...

Lweji · 31/10/2013 06:45

Child owners need make sure their children are a) sufficiently trained not to melt into a puddle every time they so much as see a dog or b) not taken to places where dogs will likely be loose and left ride a bike around without supervision.

Ah, ah, ah. No.
a) good luck with that
b) good luck with that too. You supervise your dog, my child has more of a right to go around on his bike, without being on a lead.

Lweji · 31/10/2013 06:47

Be cool,

Try, I Haven't Read The Whole Thread, IHRTWT

LST · 31/10/2013 06:52

lweji not a cat in hells chance can you get a lead long enough to exercise a high breed dog properly. especially with a ball!

Lweji · 31/10/2013 06:56

Personally, I'm all in favour of designated dog areas in parks, as there are for children.

But where humans and dogs coexist then the dog should always be called on if there is any hint of them bothering a human.

LST · 31/10/2013 07:02

My dog is never in that position. I do not allow it. Stricker rules should be in place in regards to dog ownership. But I am afraid that isn't going to happen, therefore I am not letting my well trained, obedient dog suffer because of some dogs owners who can't control their dog properly. And fwit I very rarely walk past children (when dog is leashed) and they run out and just start stroking and shouting awwwwwh in my dogs face.. That pisses me off. Not that my dog would do anything, but because someone's could.

maddening · 31/10/2013 07:02

think about it - this screaming is an extreme reaction - possibly due to bad experience or a genuine phobia - so perhaps have some compassion.

LST · 31/10/2013 07:03

stricker Confused

I meant stricter!

Retropear · 31/10/2013 07:04

YABU

Dogs jumping up at bikes are very dangerous.

I've come off and so has one of my dc.Dogs should be on leads near cyclists.

My DS has been bitten by a dog,that coupled with dogs jumping up and barking at bikes he would have meant he reacted the same.

Last I heard all dogs have teeth and if they run in front of bikes all can cause accidents.