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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if your child is scared of dogs you should encourage them not to scre and wail if my dog is 300 ft away...

468 replies

Beccadugs · 30/10/2013 21:50

Walking my dog today, she was of lead, about 10ft ahea of me waiting for me to chuck the ball. A child cycled towards us, saw my dog (who is half toy poodle so tiny) and started screaming. My dog just looked at her and then carried on our walk, if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead. However, when she was a puppy and less well trained this screaming was an invitation (in her mind) to investigate.

While I accept that some children are scared of dogs, and that is fine. I would have thought that if there is a dog in the general vicinity encouraging your DC not to scream is probably for the best when the dog is ignoring you completely. AIBU, we all want to use the local facilities happily.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/10/2013 22:15

I have spent a lot of time with DS doing the "oh look that's a nice dog on his lead so his owner can walk him" type stuff to try to reassure him that he is safe being near the dog on a lead. Dogs which aren't on leads he struggles with a lot more because in his mind it is going to come for him.

I do think that dogs should be on leads unless they are somewhere which is a designated dog walking area or somewhere very quiet. Dog owners need to remember not everyone loves their dog.

killpeppa · 30/10/2013 22:15

a lot of canine haters on hereSmile

I understand both sides, I've one DS who is scared and one who lovvvvves any dog going!

he's never had a bad experience he's just a cautious child.

but I feel If the child was old enough to be out cycling alone then they should have a bit more common sense to not scream and if they don't like/ are scared of dogs then move to the side until it passes. this is what I teach my son.

isitsnowingyet · 30/10/2013 22:16

oops x posting again - grin directed at beccagain - looks like there are not many dog lovers on mumsnet tonight!

Lots of folk over reacting though Wink

BackOnlyBriefly · 30/10/2013 22:16

If she doesn't like people treating her dog as a threat then one solution would be to keep it on a lead everywhere.

killpeppa · 30/10/2013 22:17

btw I wasn't being bitchy.
was just a light hearted comment
so don't hate meSmile

I'm sure some of you have dogs.

Original poster
Beccadugs · 30/10/2013 22:17

Yes, not in a park, at an abandoned aerodrome.

Cyclist, jiggers and dog walkers on the whole.

Would like to reiterate my dog had no interaction which the child whatsoever.

Yes, children can't help what they are afraid of, not should they, but I think parents (and obviously many are) need to support them when coming across those fears in a public place.

OP posts:
LST · 30/10/2013 22:18

How silly. On one in every 10 walks I go on I call my dog too me because of someone else. I am sorry but I am not leasing my dog when he is playing with his ball well away from anybody else.

Beccagain · 30/10/2013 22:18

a lot of canine haters on here

Maybe, but I'm not one, if that's what you were thinking. I just place greater value on children and their comfort/safety

but I feel If the child was old enough to be out cycling alone What makes you think she was? I understood (perhaps wrongly) that a parent was with her but was unable to calm her fear.

Itsjustafleshwound · 30/10/2013 22:20

And also a lot of opinionated, arrogant dog owners ... Smile

Lweji · 30/10/2013 22:20

I quite like dogs. I just don't know what the OP is going on about, or what exactly she's asking for.

What were this child's parents supposed to have done?

And how can we stop children from screaming in fright?

TiredDog · 30/10/2013 22:20

I walk my dog off the lead and am absolutely confident of his behaviour. Hysteria would irritate me tbh.

We did pass a woman with 15 dogs today all off the lead Confused which made me feel anxious! I restrained my emotions though Wink

Sirzy · 30/10/2013 22:20

But becca can you not see that the reaction may be because you let the dog off the lead making it more worrying for the child?

Nobody else knows how you dog is going to react. You can't expect people to be happy to see a dog off lead especially if they have had a bad experience.

Beccagain · 30/10/2013 22:21

Cyclist, jiggers and dog walkers ...

This typo has really lightened the mood for me ! Grin

However....

but I am not leasing my dog when he is playing with his ball well away from anybody else.

Well let's hope you (or more to the point, some child or their parent) never has cause to regret that decision.

5madthings · 30/10/2013 22:21

I have no problem with dogs on or off lead as long as they don't come near me (allergic) or jump up on me or my children. I dont let my chidlre run up to/jump on other people so I appreciate it she dog owners afford me the same,e courtesy.

A dog off leas that comes when called is fine, this when they run up, jump all over my kids ams their owner just says 'its jsit wanting to play/it won't hurt' that I get pisses off!

My parents and many other family member own dogs and wouldn't let them behave like that. If I weren't allergic we would have a dog, I like them.

LST · 30/10/2013 22:22

Was that aimed at me isjustafleshwound? Because I have not been at all arrogant

Beccagain · 30/10/2013 22:23

But becca can you not see that the reaction may be because you let the dog off the lead making it more worrying for the child?

A confusing preponderance of Beccas on this thread! Especially as we are firmly positioned on either side of the debate!

losingtrust · 30/10/2013 22:23

My Dd had a cake bitten out of her mouth by a dog in a park when she was about 4. She was terrified of dogs after that and I did try to get her to stop screaming but it was impossible. She is only just able to go near dogs now at 9. Still a bit wary though. What really pissed me off though was the owner of the original dog did not even apologise.

shellbot · 30/10/2013 22:23

I'm not sure how you think parents can train their children not to scream when they're scared.

I remember screaming as a child when a spider dropped on my arm. It was uncontrollable fear and not something I could have controlled.

Sirzy · 30/10/2013 22:23

Yes I noticed that after I posted - I meant becca as in the op!

LST · 30/10/2013 22:24

I don't need to hope my dear as I am not an irresponsible dog owner Wink

Coldlightofday · 30/10/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beccagain · 30/10/2013 22:24

Because I have not been at all arrogant

I'll second LST that even though I disagree with you quite vehemently!

Snowlike · 30/10/2013 22:25

My child first screamed because she was attacked by a lab puppy who was allowed to jump and use teeth on her when she was 3 years old. Then again was violently growled at by the German shepherd next door 6 month later, who apparently was harmless and was then attacked by 2 jack russets who were off lead and whose owner blamed me for her reaction - so it was me who encouraged her to scream - really? I love dogs but some dog owners are fucking mindless idiots!

Beccagain · 30/10/2013 22:26

I don't need to hope my dear as I am not an irresponsible dog owner

I don't doubt that either, but surely every dog can be unpredictable, can get spooked etc etc?

pianodoodle · 30/10/2013 22:26

If the dog was under control and not anywhere near the child there's no problem.

Not sure there's much you can do about children screaming.

Ideally, you don't want a child to be screaming at seeing a dog, but some are scared.

If your dog just carried on his way that's a good thing.

I let my wee dog off lead in the park she doesn't stray or bother people. If someone screamed at her I'd be surprised but I wouldn't be annoyed really I'd just go the other way.