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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if your child is scared of dogs you should encourage them not to scre and wail if my dog is 300 ft away...

468 replies

Beccadugs · 30/10/2013 21:50

Walking my dog today, she was of lead, about 10ft ahea of me waiting for me to chuck the ball. A child cycled towards us, saw my dog (who is half toy poodle so tiny) and started screaming. My dog just looked at her and then carried on our walk, if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead. However, when she was a puppy and less well trained this screaming was an invitation (in her mind) to investigate.

While I accept that some children are scared of dogs, and that is fine. I would have thought that if there is a dog in the general vicinity encouraging your DC not to scream is probably for the best when the dog is ignoring you completely. AIBU, we all want to use the local facilities happily.

OP posts:
AmberNectarine · 01/11/2013 14:24

It's a sad and strange world where we think other creatures have less right to life than human beings who are largely consumptive and destructive!

fromparistoberlin · 01/11/2013 14:26

but we eat them, we eat animals

if you are veggie I take that back nectarine but we cant bloody eat them and then say we give them equal love

sorry animals, but we basically out manouevered you

MinesAPintOfTea · 01/11/2013 14:28

Leaving aside the burning building dilemma, how is a child screaming the length of a football field away a problem for your dog? It would have to be seriously not under control if this caused a problem.

Grennie · 01/11/2013 14:28

Plenty of vegans are vegans because they don't think they have a right to use animals for their own benefit.

TheGhostofAmandaClarke · 01/11/2013 14:34

That is true Grennie but most ppl are not.

TheGhostofAmandaClarke · 01/11/2013 14:36

Minesapintoftea we're all still waiting for an answer to that question.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 01/11/2013 14:37

Indeed. The dichotomy I made between the individual and the species is that I don't really believe in animal "rights". I believe in welfare, and keeping animals fairly and humanely. And sometimes, killing them for our benefit - whether that's slaughtering a cow for burgers, euthanasing an aggressive dog or performing lab research - provided they are killed humanely.

Some people disagree. And some people think welfare is irrelevant and we can do whatever the hell we like with animals Sad

lola88 · 01/11/2013 14:44

I don't think it's fair to think her mum is encouraging her to scream I was terrified of dogs from when I was tiny for no reason my whole family are dog lovers but I am just scared of them, I've worked hard to get over my fear but it's not easy if a random dog runs up to me my ears start ringing I feel hot like i'm going to faint and tremble all over. My fear is so strong that when a random dog put his face in DS's buggy even though I was terrified it would bite DS I litrally couldn't move for fear. You clearly don't understand phobia if you think it's as easy of just not being scared.

On the other hand taking a child with a phobia of dogs on a bike to a park is daft there are bound to be dogs. I avoid places that I know there are a lot of dogs and won't go to houses without explaining to the dog owner i'm scared and could they please make sure the dog doesn't jump on me if thats not possible I won't go. Putting a child in that position is not ok because you never know where there will be an excited puppy or a badly trained dog around.

I think you need to understand this child was not personally insulting you and your dog she was clearly very scared and her mother was being irresponsible putting her in that situation but it's not some kind of person slur on your dogs behavior.

fifi669 · 01/11/2013 14:49

lola I may have hidden behind buggy/toddler..... I can't now, DS has picked up on my fear so we both hide behind DP if possible!

lola88 · 01/11/2013 15:08

LOL fifi it's a terrible thing

Lweji · 01/11/2013 15:52

Where I live dogs are found everywhere.
A child with a fear of dogs would never leave the house, by the reasoning of some people.

Lweji · 01/11/2013 15:58

And dogs are wolves:
same species, just different subspecies. :)

www.itis.gov/servlet/SingleRpt/SingleRpt?search_topic=TSN&search_value=180596
Canis lupus lupus
Canis lupus familiaris

Back2Two · 01/11/2013 16:02

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FariesDoExist · 01/11/2013 17:43

Wow, some dog owners actually put animals above people and would even save a dogs life rather than a human being. That explains the lack of empathy these dog owners display towards people. It makes sense now.

Nutters!

Spider7 · 01/11/2013 17:54

Not said for effect. Said from the heart. Before I got my dog I thought people who jumped into dangerous rivers, burning homes to rescue their dogs were nutters. Now I have a dog, had him from a tiny puppy. He is family to me. I would willingly risk my life for him. There have been reports of people stealing dogs. Anyone tries that with me & I will fight tooth & nail to prevent them, would do everything in my power to track them down & teach them why they should never take someone's dog, esp mine! As others have said though, we're discussing this in a non blazing highly unlikely scenario - this is how I feel this moment in time. Who would you rescue a stranger (I read it as adult too) or your own child? I view my dog a member of my family, very much like a child (damn well needs the same amount of effort!) so yes,I opt for my child. I would imagine an adult would have some survival skills, I would of course go back for the adult. But this as has also been mentioned, is beside the point as already explained. To some of us dogs are more than animals..... Even amongst pet owners there are different perceptions as to how much a pet is more than a 'thing'. There are some pet owners who would re home their dogs. That is not something I understand (Logically I can, emotionally .... no), I would never give up a child because it was proving difficult or funds were tight, I had to move...... It would take something massively drastic! I say this only to point out the 'I have a dog too....' does not sway me to anyone's point of view. As I say, clearly even dog owners value their pets differently.

Spider7 · 01/11/2013 18:04

My dog has helped at least 7 children overcome their fear of dogs. All now have or will be getting dogs of their own! And four of this were proper terrified! Education, patience & helping the child to slowing control & then overcome their fear. They are no no longer at the mercy of a phobia. And as those with phobias know,having one is not a great experience & they can be debilitating. Why not work towards overcoming them. He has also helped a few kids deal with severe bullying.... they found comfort confiding in him & being with him. Dogs are not demons. They can be & are productive members of our society. More so than some people. Who are strangers to me as ;-) Seriously, do we start to ban everything potentially dangerous or people have phobias of?

BurningBridges · 01/11/2013 18:22

Erm, Spider, have you ever heard the phrase "there rests the case for the prosecution"?

TheGhostofAmandaClarke · 01/11/2013 19:02

Diseasesofthesheep has put it so well.

34DD · 01/11/2013 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LST · 01/11/2013 19:09

Yup faries completely fucking barking I am!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/11/2013 19:38

No. Dogs are not demons. And are often of great personal value to people who have enormous affection for them.

notthefirstagainstthewall · 01/11/2013 19:54

Well what do you do with actual wildlife (not domesticated)that are dangerous? Bees wasps, adders etc. You teach children to be sensible around them and they grow out of it.
Why is this such a tough thing to do other animals like dogs?

Some understanding of animal behaviour goes miles. Of course young children can be scared but if you learn about them you soon realise they are just dogs - with emotions and not just teeth and claws.

Stravy · 01/11/2013 20:04

You teach children to be sensible around them and they grow out of it

Well, yes, but not instantaneously. Dogs and their owners may have to have a little tolerance whilst the growing out is being done and could help by calling off their dogs when appropriate rather than saying 'he's just being friendly'.

lola88 · 01/11/2013 21:05

You teach children to be sensible around them and they grow out of it

Not entirely true I've never grown out of my fear of dogs, I don't freak out outwardly when I see them now and can pat ones I know but would rather not and even the most trusted dog or the tiniest thing if it barks I have the whole faintly trembly feeling. I like dogs I would love to have one they can be amazing but I can not help that little bit inside of me that still fears they could hurt me. Even my sisters puppy who I could physically over power and who couldn't do real damage to me if he jumps at me I can't help being afraid and jumping away I think I would need some sort of therapy to get over it it's not as easy as you think. It really upsets me when people say but he won't hurt you she's just being friendly because actually that sets me back

Back2Two · 01/11/2013 21:43

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