Over ILs taking us away

[notonnelly]

Okay, we tend not to go away with DD (1) as she doesn't sleep that well when we are away and is generally just much happier at home.

It was in the in laws wedding anniversary and they wanted to go away for a weekend to celebrate with the family. That is MIL's mum, DH, me and DD, their other son. It was to be in a hotel which we weren't mad keen on as DD won't go to sleep if we are in the room (meaning WTF do we do when she goes down for the night?). ILs know how she is. ILs are retired, but very young and active retired. Think golf/tennis everyday.

But fine, they wanted this weekend in this hotel, so we went along. They very kindly were paying. They said they really wanted this weekend to spend lots of time with DD. They live 5 mins along the road.

SO, on the Friday night they book dinner at 7pm in a pretty formal place in the hotel, expecting DD to join. We managed, but had to get her away early as she was so knackered. Then once she was tucked up in bed I had to sit on the hotel corridor reading a book whilst they all had drinks in the bar. We told them we would be down for breakfast with DD about 7.30 - 8.30. They said, oh well, we set our alarm for 8.30, we will see you later on in the day.

Saturday, they arrange sporting stuff to go an do and not stuff DD can come along for.

Then Saturday night they arrange a formal private dinner at 8pm. DD cannot come and is not the sort of baby that would sleep in the room in a buggy. So, I am pretty much pressurised into doing that phone monitor thing and I hated it, hated it. And then again, I have to sit in the corridor once dinner is over and they have drinks.

I thought it would have been nice to have a more relaxed early dinner that DD could have joined in on!

Same scenario at breakfast the next day.

So, it just leaves me wondering, why the fuck did they ask us, why did they want this 'family' weekend. I am not expecting people to bend over backwards to accomodate our somewhat rigid DD, but bloody nora, they hardly saw her and I spent alot of time camped out in a cold hotel corridor. Why bother?

AIBU, I think I may be a little as it was a nice thought to pay for us to go away with them, but it was a pretty hellish weekend all in all!

I'm shocked at the number of people suggesting a baby monitor in this day and age. I wouldn't get a hotel babysitter stranger either.

A baby is pretty portable but a 1 year old is not just a baby who will drop off anywhere with a bit of pushing in a buggy - at least mine weren't.

My ILs once set up a family weekend away where they booked a shared a rented condo. It was a first and last type of experience. They too booked expensive fancy meals late in the evening - where we paid a fortune to for the privilege of placating our overtired 19 month old the whole time. They thought nothing of drinking, yelling and whooping it up in the next room thoughtfully waking our son up for hours each night. They couldn't be arsed to shut up for even 30min - not for night sleep, not for naps.....they made no concessions to the parents and young child who didn't have the luxury to just do whatever, whenever. They also tutted and moaned (loudly) about inflexibility. Stuff them. We will never do it again.

Hotels with young children who are light sleepers suck. Even if you don't sit in the hallway....its not much more glamorous to sit in a dark hotel room staining to hear the television at its lowest pitch or reading by flashlight. As if I'm the only one to have done it! Doubt it.

Well some people are just determined to be inconvenienced and will pooh pooh every suggestion that might mean they have a good time too.

I'm lost as to the sins of using a baby monitor? Is it a fire I'm supposed to be worried about? Or a kidnapper? Or a meteorite? Or an alien invasion?

My worry over using a baby monitor was that it wouldn't be very effective in a hotel where there are lots of other signals, and perhaps other people using monitors too.

I was never convinced that a device made for home use, would funtion down several floors, along huge corridors, around the other side of the building.

LittleGrey That's horrid!!

Fix it up I just read your entire post out to DH in the tone I think you meant it. Well said

It's all about appearances. They want to be able to say that they took ALL their family out, including the children and everyone was falling over themselves to be there on their special day.

They will say/tell you anything they need to to get that.

Reality is, to them, "meh", whatever, and as long as they've achieved their goal, nothing else matters.

You and your child are pawns to an extent.