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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sad about having to put my 3 month old DD in her own room already?

84 replies

daisywaisydoo · 28/10/2013 22:22

She outgrew her moses basket and our room isn't big enough for her cotbed so it is in the room next door.

She's been sleeping in her carry cot on the floor Hmm ever since and it just seems wrong to me so tonight I put her in her cotbed in the other room.

It feels too soon for her to be out of our room because she'll never be back in it.

AIBU or is this normal first baby growing up sadness?

I miss her snuffly noises already Blush

OP posts:
MillyStar · 28/10/2013 22:25

My dd went in her own room at 6 months and I was really sad, I'm a single mum so my room felt very very lonely and I had a good cry :(

Still get some nice snuffles down the baby monitor though

Yanbu

Caitlin17 · 28/10/2013 22:25

I never had son in my room after the first night. Had a baby monitor and left the door open but he was in his own room.

rosieposey · 28/10/2013 22:26

Would you consider co-sleeping? It doesn't work for everyone but it worked for us - DS is next to me sleeping as I type :)

rosieposey · 28/10/2013 22:28

He is 11 months btw and not Bf. DS who is 4 slept with us till he was three ( disclaimer - I'm not saying that was ideal but Dh and i really enjoyed having our babies close).

Original poster
daisywaisydoo · 28/10/2013 22:31

I'd love to co-sleep but I've been a victim of accidental sleepy whacks to the face too many times I'd be scared for her!

OP posts:
Sparklysilversequins · 28/10/2013 22:31

Our bedroom was small too and dd was in her cot with the side off, jammed right next to ours, there was no room whatsoever to move round the cot or beds but I wanted her near me I wasn't bothered about that.

partyondude · 28/10/2013 22:32

I've got a crib if it's any use to you? Bigger than a moses basket but half the size of a cot. I'm in Shropshire.

We chucked both of ours into their own rooms at 6mo but I would have missed them if they'd gone much earlier than that.

NotYoMomma · 28/10/2013 22:35

my dd was in herown room at a month old because I put her in thecot to nip to the loo and she settled there instantle. she didnt get on withthemoses basket because she hated swaddling and was an arm waver

we also seriously desturbed each other. she slept so much better it was all unreal!

just remember all children are individuals, have different needs and its not like they will all besuddenly ok in their own room at some random age limit.

imo

rosieposey · 28/10/2013 22:37

How about a small cot? You can get some quite small models ( ikea) and as sparkly said it won't leave you much room but she will be next to you.

When DS was born I had him in a bedside cot ( it was a small 'arms reach' model) these are excellent as when he was newborn I was worried about having him in bed with me as I was recovering from a cs. They literally attach to the bed?

aGnotherGnu · 28/10/2013 22:38

We put ours in the travel cot once too big for crib due to same issue. Is that an option for you?

uselessinformation · 28/10/2013 22:38

Buy a normal sized cot which are smaller than cot beds and wedge it in next to your bed. No need to be able too get round it as long as you don't block the route to the door. Not sure why you bought a cot bed if you knew it wouldn't fit.

AnyFuckerReporting · 28/10/2013 22:39

Not to be alarmist, I know the guidelines change all the time but I'm sure we were advised to wait until six months with our youngest dc due to SIDS risk etc?

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 28/10/2013 22:41

SIDS prevention advice is that the baby should not sleep (naptimes or night times) apart from parents/carers until at least 6 months of age.

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 28/10/2013 22:42

Guidelines don't change all the time.

Original poster
daisywaisydoo · 28/10/2013 22:43

I do worry about SIDS risk too tbh, but I think surely either way if, god forbid, anything happened I would be asleep?

I bought a cotbed as moneywise in the long run it works out better and assumed she'd be in her moses basket for longer. Clueless first time mum.

I didn't think of a travel cot! I'm guessing they'd be cheaper than a little cot?

OP posts:
Original poster
daisywaisydoo · 28/10/2013 22:44

I think I'm going to move her back when my partner gets in, you've all made me panic!

OP posts:
YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan · 28/10/2013 22:45

i'd personally buy a smaller cot or see if there was any way to reconfigure your bedroom furniture to make her cot fit. could you put your wardrobe/dresser in the spar room for a few months?

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan · 28/10/2013 22:47

you'd be more likely to wake yourself if she stopped breathing while in your room than in the other room. also it's because her breathing pattern is set by yours so that's why she needs to be in your room for the first six months.

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan · 28/10/2013 22:47

don't panic. read up on the SIDS guidelines and make an informed decision for yourself. Smile

SueDoku · 28/10/2013 22:48

A travel cot is good - you can often pick up a fairly new one on ebay, gumtree etc and just buy a mattress. Then if you do go to stay anywhere, you've got it all ready.... Smile

Lottiedoubtie · 28/10/2013 22:48

. The SIDS advice isn't about you being in the vicinity to perform CPR. It's about the baby regulating its breathing because he/she can hear yours, the ambient noise of ( even) sleeping people prevents the baby falling too deeply asleep.

Your choice OP, but wanted you to know that.

AnyFuckerReporting · 28/10/2013 22:49

I didn't mean specifically SIDS guidelines, just general care guidelines for babies. I had two children within two years and the difference in advice wrt weaning, diet during pregnancy and all sorts of things was very surprising. I wasn't aware if there had been any new SIDS research, developments since mine were small is what I was saying.

hettienne · 28/10/2013 22:50

Having the baby in your room is about the baby hearing you rather than you hearing them. SIDS risk is small, but peaks between 2-4 months so I'd try to keep her in with you for a bit longer personally.

DaleyBump · 28/10/2013 22:51

The SIDs guidelines are to do with your breathing regulating hers I think, not just so that you'll notice if something goes wrong.

dietcokeandwine · 28/10/2013 22:51

The SIDS guidelines are as PostmanPat says but bear in mind that this is what they advise to minimise risk. Putting a baby into their own room earlier than six months does increase the SIDS risk, but then again so does cosleeping. Both own room and cosleeping options can of course be perfectly safe - but from a SIDS perspective neither can be considered as safe as a baby in their own cot in the parents room.

At the end of the day you have to weigh up the risks and make a decision that is best for all of you as a family. Unfortunately, you could follow every SIDS guideline to the letter and still suffer the tragedy of cot death; the guidelines only help you minimise risk.

OP I have to say we had to move each of our three children out into their own rooms at 4m for the exact same reason - outgrew moses basket and couldn't put cot in our room. Unfortunately our room is so titchy that even a travelcot would not fit alongside the bed but a travelcot might be a good interim option for you for the next three months if you wanted to try it. Should definitely be cheaper and you would also get additional use out of it for holidays, nights away etc. Our travelcot (even though it won't fit in our bedroom!) has been one of the best £50's we've ever spent.

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