To have really lost respect for Jenni Murray

[Mumsex]

NC specially for this.

DM article today (not linking to those cunts) in which she reckoned some things should not be shared even anonymously on sites such as Mumsnet. She also thinks we should be renamed "Mumsex" and questioned how pleased we would be if our male partners were talking about intimate details of our sex live and swearing on line, even anonymously.

I don't know about everyone else, but my DH is a big boy and might swear on the internet. I doubt he discusses our sex life, but if it was anonymous and he did to make someone laugh, or to help them, so what?

Jenni is shocked, even with all her knowledge of women's history at the swearing and the fact we share details of weirdest places we have had sex amongst other things. We also advice people to LTB at every little problem and some things should be kept in the bedroom.

Jenni, you silly cow, Mothers (they are women, you know) are as sexual as men. The chat on here and advice given has helped me have more orgasms in the last 4 moths than I have ever had in my life. That is a biggie to me. I know other Mothers (ie, women) have been helped in this way too. Should we be ashamed of liking sex, of wanting to find out more, of finding it funny, of wanting to compare notes anonymously?

LTB is not trotted out at every occasion, the pervasive tone of relationships is "take no shit". Is that so hard to understand? I thank my lucky stars every day for my DH, but I know if I had to put up with half of what is cited on some of the relationship threads, I would rather be (and would be) on my own.

So IABU is saying, STFU Jenni, and take your censorious attitude back to the 50's. I for one, won't STFU. Nice attempt to silence mothers again, and put them back in their place.

[claig]

"Reckon there is, and will continue to be, a backlash against "internet independents" from more "mainstream" media sources. Seen it happening with bloggers too."

I think there may be something in this. I think the real goal may be part of the socialists' and metropolitan elite's attempts to curb the anonymity and free speech of bloggers and independents about serious subjects such as politics etc, and taking umbrage at sex and filth is often the way to denigrate independent bloggers and forums and justify any curbs on free expression.

It's the old "society is going to the dogs" argument and the metropolitan elite have to do something about it for the good of the masses. They use sex as the justification, but the real aim is political.

Read Damian McBride's book to see some hypocrisy in action.

The hoo-ha against the Mail and the calls to "change its culture" by some of the metropolitan elite are a hint at what is at stake where free expression is concerned.

All these articles about Mumsnet are also to some extent about calls to "change the culture" of Mumsnet. But it is not sex that the metrolitan elite really care about, I think they may be after the independent bloggers and forums that criticise and challenge their worldview.

[thebody]

I wish I was over educated!

[IncognitoErgoSum]

Particularly amusing as Jenni Murray is infamous for talking about being in a celibate relationship. So why is she reading about other people having sex?

There are only a handful of forums on here I read. If other people are discussing pig husbandry or Communist rhetoric, it doesn't bother me because I don't see it.

[thebody]

if I was you wouldn't see that's actually me in the pink.

[thebody]

if I was you wouldn't see that's actually me in the pink.

[meekenough]

Going against the tide, just for a change (!)

I think maybe its a generational thing? I know strong women, good women who recoil at the idea of personal retellings online.

[PatoBanton]

I never liked her in the first place, I used to love WH before she turned up and ruined it.

[GreenVelvet]

A lot of stuff on Mumsnet is prurient and childish, I mean that's a fact, surely anyone with half a brain might have noticed? I think its fair of Jenny Murray to comment on this. No doubt this thread will encourage more prurient, childish (and unpleasant) comments, this time directed at Jenni Murray, just proving her point .

[EBearhug]

But if you are wondering about intimate details of your sexlife (or anything else), whether it's normal, whether it can be changed, treated or just celebrated - it's often easier to ask anonymously online than go to your GP or ask a friend or whoever. And it is often far better than suffering in silence for years.

Mind you, I suspect someone like Penisbeaker husband would probably agree with her that some details are better not shared online.

It is quite amazing though, how all the current press articles are just focussing on the sex and swearing, and not on the massive range of other topics talked about in MN.

[Boardingblues]

I agree with Meek, it is generational. In addition, I don't think JM deserves all this vitriol for expressing her own opinion.

[ImperialFucker]

I think she does deserve vitriol, though, for not doing her research properly and for not realising, despite her age, the value of an online community.

[ImperialFucker]

Given her job, I mean.

[claig]

This is what Tom Peck says in the Independent article

"In February 2013 its founders Justine Roberts and Carrie Longton, were assessed as the seventh most powerful women in the UK by BBC Woman’s Hour. Does this smattering of filth concern Roberts?

“We’ve always been pleased to provide a go-to destination for straight answers,” she says.

“Mumsnet’s aim is to allow parents to anonymously share knowledge and advice and occasionally that includes advice about sex. We think that’s all fine, and healthy and normal, as do our users.”

Personally I think that this defence of Mumsnet to attacks such as "smattering of filth" by some quarters is a bad defence. Because if it is about "advice" then the "smattering of filth" brigade may say that it is "bad advice". They may say like Jenni Murray said in the Daily Mail

"However, the flip and often downright damaging responses to these concerns posted on the site are deeply worrying.

Under that veil of anonymity, an obviously young and relatively inexperienced woman asks

The consensus seems to be that she should dump him — a common response from Mumsnetters to almost any marital problem. Not easy with two small children to look after, so I’m not sure how helpful such exchanges are

The argument should be one of free expression; it should be that people are free and capable to work out what advice is good and what is bad and that some things on the forum are about having a laugh and a discussion and are not about "seeking advice" and that the forum is not an extension of the metropolitan elite's nanny state looking after its naive and gullible children and controlling their free expression.

It seems that not only is our centuries old free press under attack by the "metropoiitan classes", but free forums and free blogs and free expression may be next.

[paxtecum]

I don't think it's generational.
I'm nearly the same age as JM.

I've been lurking on MN for over a year.

It's quite amazing watching a thread and eventually an OP realises that she is in an abusive relationship.

I cannot imagine anyone discussing in RL about a DH having a porn addiction or similiar, but here there is no shame or embarrassment and there are honest answers.

She has odd moral judgement. She berates MN for daring to discuss sex but accepts money from the Daily Fail.

[Mumsex]

Sorry, "not linking to those cunts" was probably a bit too strong. I don't think any kind of swearing or sex talk "proves her point" because I don't think she has a point to prove about us. She has just played into the hands of the mysoginistic media tide against MN. We should be coy about sex, we should moderate our language in a lady like way and we should STFU because we are just mothers.
As to that other absolute helmet in the independent; "over educated?" We can't win. If we posted in a less eloquent fashion, we'd be those uneducable dim wits.

@ "moths ". Can't get away with anything. It was supposed to be "months".

Perhaps Jenni should host a new "ladies hour" and leave Woman's hour to Jane Garvey.

[Boardingblues]

I think that she is probably representative of a lot of people who would find some of the postings shocking. I have to say (and I have lived a life and am no prude) that I hate the use of the C-word. It is a personal thing, I regret that it seems to be becoming more common place and acceptable. There are postings on here that astound me with their openness and honesty. I understand the why and the value, but I can see that others would be shocked. There is sometimes some extreme advice offered that will have severe consequences for the OPs if they follow it. However, there are many, reasoned and learned posters here and I have no doubt that there are people who have been supported through problems and trauma that no one should have to deal with. But it is not for everyone and we should respect that. If anyone who disagrees becomes the subject of personal attacks, then it will be will descend into DM territory.

[AChristmassyJerseySpud]

I love MN.


I wish i had moved in years ago

chains herself to tables

[paxtecum]

Maybe she should have lurked for longer than a week before passing an opinion in a national paper.

[Mumsex]

See, that's fair enough, BoardingBlues, you are not comfy with the c-word, but you haven't gone and published a load of shite in my favourite paper about how Mothers should behave.

How is this place anti-men, if you have a decent human being as a male partner? I must ask my DH if he feels threatened by our strident brand of feminism on here. Oh hang on, no he doesn't. He has had more leg over (with me, partner of 20 years) in four months than in the last 10 years,because of my reading someone else's thread about elusive orgasms and what vibrator would anyone recommend. TMI, but it comes from a heartfelt, genuine place. People helped the OP on those threads, but they also helped me and my DH (a man!) So we really mustn't allow the media to silence us.

[ImperialFucker]

I doubt she lurked for more than half an hour, paxtecum.