To wish there was a MN Center Parcs support group?

[BoffinMum]

So I appear to have paid £1000 to stay in a damp bungalow and to be bossed about by unsmiling teenage staff members telling me off or telling me I can't do things, right, left and centre. I feel like I am back at boarding school, rather than on holiday. I've actually had a little cry, I'm so frustrated and feel so fleeced and got at. Hold my hand while I pretend to have s good time, people. I may need gin. And Pombears (which I noticed they sell in the Parc Market).

Oh no :-( which one are you ?

If the Church of England is the Tory party at prayer, this place is the Daily Mail readership at play, for sure.

poor you. I go twice a year and we love it (Whinfell). Any complaints we have had have always been dealt with quickly and to our satisfaction. If you are unhappy complain to the guest services and if you are still unhappy write to them when you return hpme.

How exactly did you make the decision to go to CPs BoffinMum? I would have thought a National Trust cottage would be more your style

Is your DH after www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1385104-Center-Parcs-Anal-sex

What's up? We always enjoy it when we go. Who's telling you off (and what are you doing to get told off?!).

I've always liked CP. don't really do any of the sports though. Just swim, take our bikes, do a nature walk. Eat nice food, drink wine, watch the squirrels.

Go and have a yummy chicken and stuffing sandwich in the jardin de sports. They're my favourite sandwich ever.

Boff, there is nothing you can do except grit your teeth and get through it.

Or try and use it as a slightly manky base for exploring the nearby countryside. Just try and get out as much as possible, and don't do any of their tedious and expensivr activities.

(Apologies to all those who enjoy CP but it makes me genuinely claustrophobic and I can't bear it.)

Overpriced the hole. Dirty, poorly maintained lodges in the one near Notts. cheap nasty food (I'm not a baked bean snob by any means but never had them like bullets in a breakfast with orange coloured water before) with both sausages and toast only cooked on one side. Flooding dishwasher, smelled of mice and damp, floor covering gaffer taped down, cutlery filthy. Took legal help to get anywhere.

Why do people like them? They look dreadful!

Surely a naice cottage somewhere would be less expensive.

See - I'd never have breakfast out there. Just take some cereal, bread and milk. Unless it's a 5* hotel or very lovely cafe I always feel ripped off at the price of breakfast anywhere. Lodges we've stated at (whinfell) have always been lovely and clean and modern.

I agree with Viva. Just relax, drink wine, go for walks, for lunch or to the pub or swimming pool. Don't pay extortionate prices for sports or spa stuff. Just use as an opportunity to chill out and read, stroll, eat and drink. I always think it's lovely.

I find it cheaper than a cottage. £450 for five days in august. Just booked. Take own food. Free swimming. cotcottages would be more and then have to pay for days out as well.

In fact last summer cp holiday was cheaper than a weeks camping in Norfolk the year before. And that was in an exec lodge with wifi and a maid.

If there is a Hell, it will be a giant CP! Awful, awful, awful! I have been once and I will NEVER repeat it! Do not and I repeat, do not pay money to go to a restaurant there. Beyond awful in my experience. If you don't want to cook (and I refuse to on any form of holiday), get in the car and drive to a pub. It will be better value, better quality and will provide some respite from the DM readers!

We've been several times and always had absolutely excellent service everywhere. We're off again on Monday and we all can't wait.

£450 doesn't sound so bad.

We're going to Cornwall, to a tiny cottage which is costing £120 for three nights but there will be plenty of cash needed for days out I expect.

I think centre parcs is marmite!

I adore it and would rather go there than abroad

My DH caught norovirus at CP. It was our first family holiday anywhere with our 2 month old PFB. When we got there, there were signs saying that due to norovirus outbreaks, certain sections eg the pick and mix had been shut down. We foolishly decided to stay as we'd travelled a long way to get there. DH was v ill and only just managed to get us home (I can't drive) - ha actually fainted in our bathroom. PFB was not long out of SCBU so overall I was v unimpressed with CP and would never go back or recommend it to anyone.

Boffin, I like the spa, and if we go with friends I let the kids roam together.

But apart from that I loathe it. Worst of boarding school. Gloomy with all those trees. And I get claustrophobic and hate the perimeter fence, feel as if I am in prison. And it is intellect free. So I take books and embroidery and refuse to move save to the spa or to do bbqs.

I am at Elveden and I freely admit I am being a bit of a princess, as we are in a well appointed Woodland Lodge, but we have discovered that the cladding on them has caused damp problems. DH has bought me an air freshener and we have opened all the windows. However if he thinks this is enough of a love offering to ensure Bumsex later on, however, he has another thing coming. My back bottom has not recovered yet from cycling around the perimeter on a cheap hired saddle.

I think that there are specially rules governing bumsex at CP - only they can bugger you!

Specially rules? They are really special rules btw!

A "well appointed Woodland Lodge" sounds like something a Sylvanian Family might live in. It's not suitable for human adults.