To wish there was a MN Center Parcs support group?

[BoffinMum]

So I appear to have paid £1000 to stay in a damp bungalow and to be bossed about by unsmiling teenage staff members telling me off or telling me I can't do things, right, left and centre. I feel like I am back at boarding school, rather than on holiday. I've actually had a little cry, I'm so frustrated and feel so fleeced and got at. Hold my hand while I pretend to have s good time, people. I may need gin. And Pombears (which I noticed they sell in the Parc Market).

AnnoyingOrange speaks wisdom.

Also, bring nice bedding.

Bring more alcohol than you think you'll drink.

We've seen deer every time at Elveden, hope to see some again next week.

any complaints ive ever had at centerparcs were dealt with much quicker when i wrote about it on their facebook page

And have a campfire in the evening. Each lodge has a brick built BBQ. Bring a disposable foil BBQ or buy one in the parcmarket, toast marshmallows and have a few drinks

Bring some glow in the dark necklaces or light sticks for the kids. They will love it

Well we love it Mamadoc and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Always found it to be clean, well maintained and there is loads for the kids to do. We go every October half term with my parents, siblings and their kids/ partners. We all have a fantastic time and there are plenty of activities for all ages.

There will always be people who hate these kind of places. If someone's ideal holiday is going to a 5 star beach resort or a high cultured city break then CP is not going to be up their street. Our preferred holiday pre-kids was travelling around Africa. Now we love CP because it's close, friendly, easy and happy kids means happy adults.

We went twice when the dc were little. The swimming was OK but I thought it was a bit like "Butlins for the middle classes" and extremely overpriced. I have never been to Butlins btw but I think I might have found it a bit more fun and a bit more honest.

I didn't mind CP the one time we got a cheap midweek break at Elveden when DS was tiny. But now we have DD as well, and are uppity enough to want everyone to have separate bedrooms so that everyone gets some sleep, I baulk at paying the thick end of 1.5 grand for an upmarket Butlins.

We now go to a holiday cottage on a farm in Cornwall, with onsite swimming pool, play barn and pets corner, which is lovely and vastly cheaper than CP, and which I am not going to be idiot enough to identify.

Hey boffin, did you try the tropical cyclone yet ?

Done Whinfell when it was Oasis. Ok but wouldn't do it again

We're just back from Sherwood, second time there, we love it. Lodges very clean, comfy beds, fabulous helpful staff. Food is overpriced, but you expect that. Going next year too , really enjoyed it. No bumsex though

I never knew so many people hate CP! We love it!

Mamadoc, we took my not well DM and my OH who was in a wheel chair. I insisted on hiring scooters for both of them, which was magic as neither coukd have coped with bikes and it's a long way to walk. They ended up having races and doing wheelies. And Ds, who was about 9 could do what he wanted, or some of ( we took a friend of his too).. and I took my DM to the spa to give her some me time and the spa is lovely, though not cheap.

It was extremely successful like that. It's just that I personally dislike it. But it worked for everyone given that I had to cater for everyone and it was a successful family holiday. I would just never go there unless I had that sort of occasion to cater for.

Mamadoc, I have admitted being a bit of a princess. I could find fault with Balmoral

Thistroud, no, but DS1 and DH went on something with a big inflatable and they loved it, was that it?

Depends on your expectations really then? I'm not expecting my dream holiday but I am hoping for clean comfortable accommodation without a long journey, activities to suit a lot of different ages and interests and a chance to spend quality time together. Hope they can deliver...

Oh and no verruccas!

Mamadoc, should do, and be easier to orchestrate than a DIY effort..

Boffin, Balmoral sounds revolting, like Butlins fit stupid Hanoverians. Wouldn't pay to stay. All that tacky ersatz tartan.

For, not fit.

Mamadoc it will be lovely. We are being a bit facetious. Have a happy time.

It would be a nightmare in bad company. We had a great week at the sherwood one. Lodge was decent enough, kids enjoyed the pool, the ducks and rabbits running around outside and bike riding. the playgrounds were fun. Its safe.

Mamadoc I was being a bit tongue in cheek. We go every year because DC love it.
We went on a huge extended family thing for my parents 50th anniversary and they had a fab time.
I have some great memories from when DC were tiny right up to now.
Twas damp this time though

Stock up on that gin Boffin. It'll relax you while the 'hurricane' is whistling through the trees on Monday (I gather there are quite a few in Elveden?).

We go to Whinfell a couple of times a year, never had any real complaint tbh ! Although didn't know about the anal thing!

We have been about 7 times, love it! Yes it's expensive but we think its worth it and there is so much for everyone to do. If you want to chill then this is not the place to go (well you won't get your money's worth!) We go to Longleat, embrace the no cars, riding bikes everyone, swimming everyday, forests lakes and a trip to the spa, everyone is happy!

OK, here are my main beefs.

1. Our bungalow stinks of damp, barely masked by air freshener. There are suspicious dark patches on my bedroom ceiling (clearly needs repainting). The patio door bottoms are filthy with mould spores. The carpet feels ever so slightly moist to bare feet.

1. We tried to use the children's club but my DS took a bit of time to settle and after 10 minutes we were instructed to leave, as they are completely inflexible about how long parents stay with the kids (bear in mind there are also clubs where they are equally completely inflexible about not allowing parents to actually leave and obliging them to stay, for other sessions, so it's a bit hard to work out quite how much of the great unwashed you are as a parent attempting to penetrate the sanctum with your child). CRB checks were invoked as a reason for this - CRB checks in fact no longer exist, they take a different form altogether, and anyway did not usefully apply when a parent was with their own child in this kind of situation, so security screening had been misapplied in that 'stranger danger panic' kind of way so common in the UK. Basically it was a 'rules is rules' situation you would never ever see in a Kinderhotel, or whatever, where it would have been fine to sit in the corner for a bit while the kid concerned got on with it, which is a better psychological approach anyway. That was the point at which I was reduced to tears of frustration, as I do not do petty bureaucracy very well, plus I did have a 'what the fuck is Britain coming to' moment. We seem to have a generation of childcarers completely brainwashed that this is an acceptable way to treat children and their families on holiday, who believe paedos sneak into kids clubs with their offspring to groom other kids in some kind of 3 hour speed grooming frenzy, and that other parents will kick off if you let people sit by their own kids until they settle. Ridiculous. BTW bear in mind I have a disability so our only alternative was to sit bored in Starbucks until DH came back to help.

1. If you try and cancel an activity you have had to prebook, perhaps because their rules and conditions aren't made clear until you turn up, you get charged 75% and they don't run a waiting list so many people are left without being able to do the activities they want whilst others are out of pocket. Nearly everything is booked up weeks ahead and oversubscribed, as there isn't really enough capacity in most activities, so you get steered towards 10 pin bowling etc (which we can do cheaper and better at home, thanks, if we wanted to do something tedious like that). It's kind of Ryanair setup where the casino (Center Parcs) always wins.

1. I am not surprised they get Norovirus outbreaks and the like, as the toilets in the kids areas were superficially clean but underneath rather dirty, and there was no hot water or soap for hand washing in many cases. In the swimming area the floors were really dirty, lots of litter. Again, dirty toilets and lack of soap in many shower and toilet areas. In Germany toilets in water parks are cleaned hourly, with the seats physically removed and soaked in sanitiser before being replaced, everything is wiped with disinfectant a lot, and the soap dispensers etc wiped and filled - a Forth Bridge type setup where roving cleaners are in motion the whole time. In our accommodation the cleaning had been rushed and there were limescale deposits everywhere and the toilet seat had wierd splash marks ingrained in the plastic.

1. Food in the restaurants is overpriced and bland, poorly cooked by rushed chefs. Nothing wrong enough to send it back, but no love there in the preparation of what are quite pricey meals (£100 for three adults and a kid last night, and one person only had one course).

1. I have been snarled at several times, being told where I can and can't sit at times, and when enquiring whether activities have any availability and so on. I expect on holiday to be smiled at and a few 'I am terribly sorry' type statements, or 'would you mind awfully' and a bit of gush, frankly. I am not a naughty schoolchild or irritating relative, I am a customer.

Anyway, those are the main ones. All a bit Ryanair, like I said.