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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want the doors locked when I go to bed? Actually I want them locked all the time.

115 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 23/10/2013 23:05

DH has gone out for the evening but didn't want to take his keys.

I want to go to bed, but am uncomfortable at leaving the front door unlocked so he can get in later. Does that make me uptight? Would you feel the same or would you be happy to leave the front door completely unlocked for a short time at night?

He is very relaxed about this kind of thing, but I am getting a bit more uptight about it. I like the doors locked when I am in the house. I like a key left in the lock all the time so that we could get out if there was a fire (we only have mortice locks on the front & back doors). Am I being OTT?

OP posts:
FuckeringNineToFive · 23/10/2013 23:07

YANBU IMO.

SweetSeraphim · 23/10/2013 23:07

I would never do this. I have a real fear of home invasion of any sort, and will never forget the little girl that was taken out of the bath while her parents were in the living room. YANBU. Your dh is being a knob.

PelvicFloorAnyFuckerReminder · 23/10/2013 23:08

Not at ll, you're the one left alone in the house, you should have the right to feel safe there.

I would feel exactly the same (and lock the doors anyway)

mousmous · 23/10/2013 23:09

yanbu
maybe have a look at a key safe? so you can lok the door and dh can go out without keys?

lessonsintightropes · 23/10/2013 23:10

I don't think YABU but am on the opposite side of this; DH would rather shut all windows and lock all doors, I'm just not that afraid we'll get broken into and much more concerned about getting out in case of fire. And I live in London! I think people have different safety tolerances, I guess the key is to make sure you're both happy with the compromise which it doesn't seem you are. Why didn't he want to take his keys?

HaroldAnyLloydFUCKER · 23/10/2013 23:11

No way would I leave the doors unlocked, the most weve done is hide a key (in an emergency), and I lock them every night before bed.

He needs to take his keys! You are totally not being unreasonable.

VerySmallSqueak · 23/10/2013 23:11

It wouldn't worry me - but that's not the point.

I am assuming you told him you weren't happy about it? If that's the case he's not being fair.

PeggyCarter · 23/10/2013 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redcaryellowcar · 23/10/2013 23:13

My dh frequently forgets his keys, he went out for a few after work drinks and asked me to leave a key out, I couldn't sleep for worrying even though key was hidden and door locked, yanbu. We have a key safe but dh can only get keys out and never manages to get them back in so I prefer him not to use it as was really bought for emergencies, I do not include him not fancying going via the office after the pub to collect his keys an emergency!

Twoandtwomakeschaos · 23/10/2013 23:16

YANBU at all.

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/10/2013 23:22

After two incidents first intruder in house in early hours as stupid ExH left back door open and the burglary I had police security advice.
So doors locked at night with fire exit doors you leave keys in the locks a quarter turned so have safe exit, but impossible to hook out with wire.

SweetSeraphim · 23/10/2013 23:27

Out of interest..... what difference does it make whether he takes his keys or not? Confused

dashoflime · 23/10/2013 23:32

YABU:

Door should never be locked at night in case you need to escape form a fire. Fires are far more dangerous than burglars.

shewhowines · 23/10/2013 23:37

What you seriously never lock your door at night dash

Op YANBU

spottyblanket · 23/10/2013 23:39

Always lock your doors. I had the worse case scenario. I don't feel like going into detail. I, and my children, were a hairs breadth away from tragedy all because I left a door unlocked. Never again.

beaglesaresweet · 23/10/2013 23:40

dash, er..it it takes a few secs to turn the key/keys and unlock in case of fire. Fire is hardly a frequent issue, and OP might be in a deetached houses, so then especially burglary much more likely than fire.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 23/10/2013 23:42

Sweetseraphim- if he takes his keys, the door can be locked while he's out.... Hmm

Dash- really?! You sleep with unlocked doors in case of fire? Shock

OlympicSleepingChampion · 23/10/2013 23:43

YANBU. I don't really understand what would be a big deal about taking his keys out with him. Are they of a Ward Governor of Wormwood Scrubs or the Tower of London proportion or something? Mine fit in a tiny handbag or jeans pocket. Three whole keys!

I go out, DP goes out. We take our keys. Sometimes we go to bed before each other gets in. Never, ever would we expect each other to wait up. Or leave the door unlocked and go off to bed. That invalidates your household insurance should you get burgled.

My view would be... deliberately don't take your keys - then sleep in the garden if I've gone to bed.

spottyblanket · 23/10/2013 23:43

Dash: ever heard of smoke alarms?

busylizzie76 · 23/10/2013 23:44

I totally understand the locked doors thing in an urban environment.....I live in the middle of nowhere and never lock my door ever....unless I am on holiday......but I know that I am very rare these days...

AlwaysChasingRainbows · 23/10/2013 23:44

Door should never be locked at night in case you need to escape form a fire. Fires are far more dangerous than burglars

Erm yeah ok , I'm certain that's what the fire brigade have at the top of their fire safety list Hmm

As long as your keys are near your door & not at the other side of the house then their are no fire safety issues .

OP Yanbu I live in a farely safe area & still like to have my Doors locked when im home as im not comfortable with people just walking in , your Dp should have taken his keys tbh

VerySmallSqueak · 23/10/2013 23:47

I think it's best for keys to be on a little hook close to the door, but not visible from the door or where a wire can be used to take them through a letterbox or cat flap.
If everyone knows where they are and takes a torch to bed at night,surely there can be no fire risk.

OlympicSleepingChampion · 23/10/2013 23:51

dashoflime where on earth did you get that from?

Fire service advice is to lock up and take your keys up to bed with you and have them to hand. No way could I sleep in an unlocked house. I know too many people who have been victims of thieves just walking in through unlocked doors - and insurance companies refusing to pay out.

Perhaps you should get your local fire service to come round to do a fire safety check for you. The one ours did for us was great. Chances are that if there is a fire you won't be able to escape from downstairs and you will need an upstairs escape plan. We have one now.

BackforGood · 23/10/2013 23:58

Of course YANBU. If anyone in my hose said they were going out without keys, and not being back until late, I'd ask them where they were planning to sleep, as I certainly wouldn't be waiting up for them, nor leaving doors unlocked.

lessonsintightropes · 24/10/2013 00:05

Wow backforgood that's certainly one way of putting it. OP just out of interest, how come he didn't take them?