AIBU to want the doors locked when I go to bed? Actually I want them locked all the time.

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

DH has gone out for the evening but didn't want to take his keys.

I want to go to bed, but am uncomfortable at leaving the front door unlocked so he can get in later. Does that make me uptight? Would you feel the same or would you be happy to leave the front door completely unlocked for a short time at night?

He is very relaxed about this kind of thing, but I am getting a bit more uptight about it. I like the doors locked when I am in the house. I like a key left in the lock all the time so that we could get out if there was a fire (we only have mortice locks on the front & back doors). Am I being OTT?

[Coupon]

YANBU

[BornToFolk]

We were burgled about 18 months ago by someone coming in the unlocked front door during the night. It's the type of lock that is locked from the outside when you shut it but you can open the handle inside.

So the burglar put something through the letterbox to pull the handle down.

They took laptop, phone, my handbag (with car keys in) and the car which luckily was dumped and recovered.

The insurance did pay out for laptop etc and for changing locks but didn't cover cash and gift vouchers that had been in my handbag.

I always, always lock the door when I'm in the house now. I leave the keys in the lock until I go to bed and then I move them to a bookshelf by the front door (can't be reached by putting something through the letterbox) They are always in the same place and can be grabbed in an emergency. We also have smoke alarms that are tested regularly so I think they'd give me enough warning to get out.

The police said that those types of burglary are fairly common in our area. People just try every door handle until they find one unlocked.

I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive myself for leaving the door open and leaving a sleeping DS at risk like that.

[Crinkle77]

YANBU. I have a flatmate and her boyfriend who aways forget to lock the front/back door so I will get up in the morning or get in at night to find them unlocked. Drives me mad but even more so as she is my land lady and should be the responsible one.

[chipshop]

PLEASE keep your doors locked, day and night, whether you're in or out. Why would you risk it?

There was a frightening incident near us recently - cops released footage of a family sitting down to eat and two scumbags bursting in and threatening them with knives to get the keys to their Audi. They had CCTV but hadn't locked their front door.

We had our flimsy front door kicked down a few years back in the middle of the night, DP was threatened with a machete to get the keys to his car. The door was locked but far too easy to batter down.

[ouryve]

YANBU.

I wouldn't just worry about people getting in, but small children getting out, if you have them.

[TempusFuckit]

I'm not shocked at people deciding the risk of burglary is more worrying to them than the risk of fire. I'm shocked at people dismissing fire with a derisive lol though. Terrifying.

[Andro]

didn't want to take his keys

Oh good grief, he needs to grow up in my opinion - that's the kind of whine I might expect to hear from my 10yo not my husband. Taking precautions such as securing the house and having your keys with you is part of life!

[poshfrock]

If he doesn't want to take the whole bunch of keys why not just take off the one he needs to get back into the house and put it in his wallet.? That's what my DH does when he goes out. It means I can lock up and go to bed and he can get in without having to carry huge bunches of metal around. A single key takes up very little space.

[LongTailedTit]

OP I grew up in the middle of nowhere like your DP, with parents that never locked doors, even when we went out. Old cottage with bolts, no locks on the main door. I don't tend to worry about locks at my mum's.

However, I now live in a small town in the commuter belt and I understand the difference! Especially as my house overlooks the whole street and I have seen several blokes watching/casing particular houses/cars in a very unsubtle fashion...
DH grew up in Central London and is v paranoid about locking everything the instant you step thru, even the back door on a sunny day, which irritates the hell out of me as I have to unlock it every hour!
Bizarrely, he's the one who's got into a bad habit of just clicking the lock down on the front door Yale rather than locking the deadlock at night.

After reading this thread, I'm going to put a hook up by the door and leave the spare keys on it so it gets locked every night.

[mercibucket]

if you dont lock your door in case of fire, do you live somewhere very quiet?

you would be burgled hundreds of times before a fire every broke out round here

i didnt think anyone lived like 'the old days'any more

[CrohnicallyTired]

Oh, completely forgot, my upstairs windows open with just a push button and latch, fire regs for new builds. So in the event of a fire that started downstairs, our mattresses would go out the window followed by DH, baby, and I (DH has more 'padding' to break baby's fall!)

[thebody]

er just re checked our policy and they definatly WONT pay up if you have an unlocked door.

they will say you haven't taken reasonable care of your property.

[Snugglepiggy]

YANBU and if my DH was more concerned about the inconvenience of taking keys with him than me feeling safe and secure then I would be less than impressed TBH.
A key safe sounds a good compromise.But if it's dark cold and wet and he's had a few beers he may decide taking a key is easier!Use them to get access to elderly parents and can be a bit tricky.

[harticus]

How hard is it to carry a key?

[dashoflime]

"if you dont lock your door in case of fire, do you live somewhere very quiet?"

No, I live on an estate in central glasgow and I don't have home insurance.

I can tell you all think I'm a total nutter now.

I understand the thing about taking your keys upstairs to bed and leaving keys by the door and all that- its just I think there's too much room for human error there.
If there were keys on a hook by the door- then one day someone would mislay their set and then the temptation would be to just "borrow" the ones from the hook, and then they wouldn't get put back afterwards.

I am quite absent minded about keys and have had a house fire in the past.

[MokuMoku]

Can't you get a thumb turn lock?

I really wouldn't feel safe at all having the door unlocked.

[cory]

I've survived a burglary where the burglars entered the room I was in without any ill effects.

Dn's friends who couldn't get out of the burning house died horribly

So I would probably feel less relaxed about the fire.

Different people will have different feelings.

But that is precisely the point: you and your dh have different feelings on this one and you need to reach some kind of compromise.

And if a halfway house is not possible, then the person who would be least inconvenienced should give way. I would say that is your dh in the present case: it is difficult to see how carrying a key in his pocket can cause him anywhere as much anxiety as going to bed with an unlocked door will for somebody who worries about break-ins.

But whatever you do, I don't really think leaving the key in the lock is much safer than leaving the door unlocked. The old wire coat hanger trick is so easy. Far better to have a hook for your key a short distance away from the door.

[dashoflime]

"Can't you get a thumb turn lock?"

I think I probably will after this conversation. Or an inside bolt or something.

[MokuMoku]

But Cory, it's not one or the other. You can have your doors locked but easy to open from the inside in case of fire.. I really don't think any fire station would recommend sleeping with your doors unlocked.

The OP's DH should just take the house key off the ring and take it with him.

[Trills]

Why did he not want to take his keys? And why did he think that his wish to not take his keys should carry any weight whatsoever?

My front and back doors are both Yale locks, so they require a key from the outside but can be opened from the inside with no key. No fire risk.

[peggyundercrackers]

we have 2 doors into the house, an outside door and an inside door. the outside door gets left open most of the time and the inside door is nearly always unlocked. both doors only get locked once we are both in bed. if either one of us is out we leave both doors as they have been all day, outside one open and inside one unlocked.

sometimes we go to the shops and leave doors unlocked too, I guess we have been lucky. we have been known to leave our cars unlocked in the drive and one of our neighbours never ever locks her car, nothing has ever been taken.

just a few weeks ago I was waiting on someone coming over to the house, I was sitting at the door waiting but I had not closed the door as I thought I was going back into the house, as they appeared at the end of the drive I went out to chat and we got speaking I forgot the door was side open and went away for half an hour. when I came back I wondered why the door was wide open, I could see right into our hallway, and did think the worst however luckily enough all was fine. that's the only time ive left it wide open though and its not something I would normally do.

I definitely worry more about fire when we are in bed and not being able to get out than worry about someone coming into the house.

[Cantthinkofafrigginname]

Not read the replied but I was burgled last week whilst I was home.

Hadn't locked our French doors after taking washing out...........

[treaclesoda]

I worry much more about fire than burglary. I only personally know one family who have been burgled, but I know a few who have had house fires (although thankfully no serious injuries).

But even so, I still wouldn't be happy to leave the door unlocked when I'm at home alone with the DC.

[Sparrowlegs248]

dash has a yale lock so the door surely isn'y just unlocked?

Both my front and back doors are the upvc with top half glazed sort, no yale. So they are locked or not - no yale in between measure.

We live in a rural area, the front door remains locked (we rarely use it) and the back door is open if we are home and locked when we go to bed. We actually only have one back door key so it is hidden in a safe place for theone who gets home first. If one goes out and is late back they take a front door key.

Is your OH 12? Why the reluctance to take keys?

My parents live in the back of beyond and were lax about door locking. One night mother awoke to footsteps on the stairs. Got up to have a look. (!!!!!) to find 4 policeman coming upstairs. They got the wrong house!

[Aeroaddict]

YANBU OP. Burglary is depressingly common, and most burglars will go for the easy option, ie an unlocked door. I suspect your DH would find he didn't feel OK if you did get burgled. It's not about the stuff you lose, its having your private safe space invaded which is hideous. Locking a door is such a simple easy thing, why would you not do it?