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AIBU?

AIBU to want the doors locked when I go to bed? Actually I want them locked all the time.

115 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 23/10/2013 23:05

DH has gone out for the evening but didn't want to take his keys.

I want to go to bed, but am uncomfortable at leaving the front door unlocked so he can get in later. Does that make me uptight? Would you feel the same or would you be happy to leave the front door completely unlocked for a short time at night?

He is very relaxed about this kind of thing, but I am getting a bit more uptight about it. I like the doors locked when I am in the house. I like a key left in the lock all the time so that we could get out if there was a fire (we only have mortice locks on the front & back doors). Am I being OTT?

OP posts:

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Meglet · 25/10/2013 09:39

dashoflime your house won't be filling up with acrid black smoke while you search for your keys because the smoke alarms that you should have in every room will have alerted you long before it gets that bad.

Think of how little toaster smoke it takes to set an alarm off, there's nothing acrid about that.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 25/10/2013 10:14

just a thought, if you leave your key in the door then anyone else with a key will not be able to get in so if you were on your own and took ill had a fall or something the house would have to be broken into. I have had to try to get my mum to think about this as she either has the door unlocked or locked with the key in and she's elderly and a bit wobbly on her feet so I am really worried that if she falls no one could get in to help for ages.

unlucky83 · 25/10/2013 10:17

dash - I had a fire in my (rented) flat years ago - so I understand the worry. We were all out that night - or I don't we would have got out alive (4 floors up, fire started in room we had to go through to get to main and fire exit). My room had fire damage - flatmates just smoke damage - the scariest thing was the firemen had pulled the duvets off their beds checking for their bodies ...
Have spare keys, stick them on a hook out of sight of burglars and make it a rule they are not to be moved ...on the door if you can cos then if you do use them to lock up you put them straight back on the hook
meglet have a look at the speed house fires spread (some on youtube) - you have minutes to get out - looking for keys - or having to go anywhere to get keys - is not an option - with or without smoke alarms (and I have 5 in a 3 bed house - 2 of them fitted by fire brigade after a fire safety check - replaced 2 I had!) - and you must check your smoke alarms weekly and change the battery annually!

LittleMissGerardBOOOOOtler · 25/10/2013 11:03

I always lock my doors day and night and I keep the keys on a hook by the front door and on the shelf by the back door.

I worry about fire so that's why the keys are there but we have had sneak in burglaries round here so I always lock the doors even when I'm in and downstairs. A few years ago during the day someone tried to get in next door, only when he saw me did he run off, it was terrifying.

We also have to lock cars and even though we kept the sat nav out of view they still took a chance a smashed a window and found it :( it felt horrible to know while we were sleeping someone was creeping round outside. We now just bring it inside.

A few weeks ago someone broke into a van across the road, I was sleeping downstairs as OH was away with work and I just feel safer as otherwise I am a floor above the kids. The neighbours CCTV show him looking round, then coming into our garden out of view for a bit, then going back and breaking in, to think he was just outside while I was asleep creeped me out too.

peggyundercrackers · 25/10/2013 11:09

i think i worry about house fires because our house is 150 yrs old and we have real open fires - all the wood in roof/walls /floors is extremely dry and it would go up like a tinderbox if anything did happen.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 25/10/2013 13:27

Why should you feel unsafe in your home because he doesnt want to carry his keys? Yanbu

BackforGood · 25/10/2013 13:47

I'd love for the OP to come back and tell us exactly what her dh's issue is with putting his house key in his pocket - I mean, it's hardly big and obtrusive, is it?

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 25/10/2013 14:57

Probably afraid of getting drunk and losing it. Dh always tries to get me to hold his keys in my purse.

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/10/2013 10:24

This thread has reminded me to order ring chains for my doors!

I always leave the front and door keys in exactly the same places, I could find them with my eyes closed if I had to. I always take my mobile up to bed with me. I had an attempted break-in when I first moved in. I could hear him trying to get the front door open and I was just frozen with fear upstairs. I would have had to go downstairs and stand in front of him to call the police and I was too afraid - so now I never forget to take my mobile up with me.

I don't want to worry you OP, but if I were you I would check that he hasn't been nattering away in the pub about how paranoid you are about him going out and leaving the front door unlocked.

PumpkinPositive · 26/10/2013 11:11

No, I live on an estate in central glasgow and I don't have home insurance

Ooh, which one? If the Gorbals or Maryhill, you're really, really brave.

dashoflime · 26/10/2013 12:10

PumpkinPositive Oddly enough- I don't feel like disclosing my location now I've been chatting all over the internet about not locking the door

dashoflime · 26/10/2013 12:22

I know I look like a complete freak but in my defense:

My flat is on a deck access walkway so it would be hard to break in without disturbing the neighbours
I have a dog that would bark
We don't have much worth stealing

I have had a house fire and it was fucking terrifying. As unlucky83 says, there is not time to look for keys.

Me DH were out on the walkway naked- with the dog, baby and box file of important documents (kept by the door as recommended by flylady , knocking on the neighbours door to ask them to phone the fire brigade for us.

You could see the smoke filling the flat through the window. I thought everything would be destroyed and I didn't give a shit because we had all got out safely.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 26/10/2013 12:47

All this talk of fire is making me I haven't had a smoke alarm in my house for 3 years

Probably best if I go and get a few today...

Meglet · 26/10/2013 16:43

You don't have to look for your keys, mine are always in the same place by the door. But out of sight and reach from any intruders.

princess go and buy smoke alarms now!! Seriously, it's not worth the risk going without.

unlucky83 · 26/10/2013 17:00

princessflirtypants - ask the fire brigade - here (in Fife) I think you might need children but def don't need to be on benefits etc -they will come to your house and give you (up to 3 IIRC) ten year alarms, fit them in the right places and give you lots of other advice...(putting them in the right place sold it to me)
Another parent is a fireman, mentioned it and he was keen to do it - they had to do a certain amount of these visits per month or something and often struggled as people didn't know they did them...
But do do it ...asap ...

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