regarding MIL and DS's party

[catgirl1976]

MIL is a massive PITA in general. Total narcissist PITA. I could fill a whole board with tales of her shennanigans. However.........

DS is going to be 2 in a few weeks time. A big deal for me, he is my only PFB and this is the first birthday he will be really interactive IYSWIM. We are having a party for him at my DPs. Buffet, bouncy castle, music etc.

MIL lives 300 miles away and has only been to see DS once.

I asked her if she would like to come up for his birthday (more fool me but a) she is is GM and b) thought it might get me out of any Xmas obligations to go down to her.

She would love to.

She then decided she would come up on the train. The mainline station is a good 45 minutes drive away from my DP's so 1.5 hours round trip to get and get her.

Then she decided she would stay in a B&B in a near by town, rather than "put anybody out". Fair enough, but the 1.5 hour round trip now incorporates going to this town, getting her checked etc. So lets call it minimum 2 hours.

Then she decides, instead of coming up on the Friday, she will come up on the Saturday. On DS's actual birthday. I was not happy as obviously we will be doing things with him, getting ready for the party and enjoying the day so a 2 hour hole in that was annoying.

I told her the party was starting at half past two so she needed to be at the station for around 11am ideally.

She has texted me today to say she has got her tickets. ARRIVING AT 13:50.

So, DH will have to go and pick her up and miss DS's entire party? I don't fecking think so.

I am just so angry. I am certain it is deliberate.

I don't know whether to

a)change his party to the Sunday to accomodate her or

b) tell her to change her effing tickets or

c) tell her "That's fine but we won't be able to pick you up from XX at that time and you will have to get 2 connecting trains to where my parents live. Oh. And you will probably miss his party."

I am sorry that's long. I just want to scream

[catgirl1976]

Hello Rhonda! :) Long time no speak - hope you are well xx

I know the time is just flying by............ x

[Strumpetron]

I didn't even know she had a little un. I remember a couple of years back me and catgirl had an argument about horses (I had a different username then)

[silverten]

Grrrr on your behalf.

Well done on behaving like adults about it.

I firmly believe that if you let people take the piss so blatantly they will walk all over you, so don't allow it. It will be worth it in the end.

[Strumpetron]

Tis a shame so many of us have shite mother in laws.

Do you know what mine did?

I left a big bag of malteasers in the kitchen, and a bag of revels.

I came downstairs to see she was polishing off both packs. Her excuse? 'my son owes me a pound I thought I'd just eat these instead'

[catgirl1976]

I was a total twunt when I joined MN Strumpetron

It's educated me though so hopefully some of my more twuntish edges have been rubbed off

[Strumpetron]

Oh so was I catgirl in fact I got more warnings than I can count learning curves and all that haa

[catgirl1976]

Owed her a pound so she ate the chocolates?

Is your MIL my MIL?

We should start a support group

[Strumpetron]

Yes I still have to laugh because of the pathetic and strangeness of it all!

I think we'd have a lot of people in the group!

[catgirl1976]

It would be huge :)

We would need a "bangs head against wall" emoticon

[silverten]

There do seem to be an awful lot of batshit crazy MILs about ATM. Is it the weather or something?

[catgirl1976]

Full moon?

[Strumpetron]

Something in the water?

[youarewinning]

Yeah my XMIL thinks it's perfectly acceptable for her DS not to pay maintenence for his son because her XH didn't pay any towards XP/ her DS and she coped.

Might mention he didn't pay because she left him for her current DH (they've been together 20 years) and they fled the county abroad because he'd commited tax fraud to start a better life in his home country.

[Scarynuff]

It's really refreshing to see someone sticking to their guns on mn. So many people back down for the safe of peace but at their own cost.

There are hundreds of posts just to vent but not actually do anything to help themselves! It's good to see you and your dh agreeing about it too. Absolute nightmare if he always gives in to mummy.

[silverten]

Oh god will it still be full at the weekend? Mine is coming to see us then. We haven't met up for seven months or so now, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I know she's angling to have DD overnight which I'm not very happy about.

But on the scale of some of the things I've read about on MN she barely registers as a one, maybe two out of ten, so perhaps it'll be ok.

[RhondaJean]

Yeah it was a full moon last night.

I'm very well thanks, still working on not being a twunt mind you xx

[catgirl1976]

He is pretty good at standing up to her. Which given what she has put him through is commendable.

She had him on anti-depressants when he was 10.

She had him exorcised at 7 or 8.

[catgirl1976]

Rhonda you have never been a twunt! You are the least twunty poster I know :)

[silverten]

There you go. That's definitely a 10/10 on the MIL batshittery scale right there with the exorcism!

I really don't know how people used to cope with this sort of stuff before things like MN existed. It's just so, so odd you can't really believe it actually happens...

[RhondaJean]

HAR I have my moments

Excorcised?

That's a whole new level of batshit crazy.

Speaking of baths hit crazy, shower time, I'm off to visit my mother this afternoon.

[Strumpetron]

Oh my dear god exorcised??!

[anonacfr]

She had him EXORCISED????? I know it's really not funny but I am crying here.
Who the hell does that?

[Ursula8]

The more you tell us OP the more I think you should be disengaging as much as possible from MIL and minimising the contact. Putting DH on anti depressants and having him exorcised is classic narc behaviour.
Can we start the betting on what kind if stunt MIL will pull when she realises that you are not going to back down?
Heart problems? Depression? Cancer? Or just a full on RAGE?
I expect you will the get the flying monkeys sent in soon OP. Other family members to tell you to back down and how unreasonable you are being. Are your own parents aware that she is a manipulative nutjob?
Wishing you luck.

[Panzee]

Exqueeze me?
Baking powder?
Exorcised? Jeez.

I think you should agree to pick her up. Then don't. And never answer the phone again. She's horrific.